Myth 13 - Myth Alliances by Asprin, Robert (ebook reader online free .txt) 📕

direct concern of the health system that we are being governed without our whole approval. Therefore, I and my

committee ought to be at your side to consult about the course of action you might take in this matter. If you would concur, Master Skeeve."

“My learned friend from Public Health,” intoned Yarg, the chairman of Public Safety, “can't claim I am anything but fair to him. He understands, as we all do, that having outsiders assuming functions that, while it is very kind of them to take such an interest, since we presently lack the ability to counsel them as to our wishes it suggests this case to be within the breadth of Public Health. We would like Master Skeeve and his party to consider having us just a trifle more in his mind than health. Not that health is not incredibly important, you see.”

There were a few gasps from the assembled. These were strong terms for any Wuhs to utter. Every one of them was still smiling, still seeming friendly, but if their eyes could shoot fire like dragonbreath, every one of them would be scorched. As Yarg retired to his seat another committeefriend leaped to her feet. The crux of her address was that Wensley should trust all of them and return the D-​hopper to common circulation, specifically to her custody. In spite of the energetic gestures her speech was as mind?less as the others had been. I felt myself starting to drowse. Gleep had already fallen asleep with his head on my foot. My head drooped over my half-​full glass. Bunny nudged me awake in time to nod approvingly when Ardrahan sat down.

Each speaker had to have his or her turn. I felt like grab?bing each one by the neck and telling them they had only one sentence to inform me what they wanted, or I'd take my entourage and go home.

Zol was perfectly at home in the midst of all this. A tea room was all he would ever need. He refused all offers of wine, beer, liquor, liqueur, intoxicants, narcotics or hallu?cinogens (not that any of our hosts would ever admit to partaking of the last three). The Wuhses seemed a trifle chagrined at first that he turned down their offerings in fa-

vor of tea, and tea alone, but they began to produce dozens of varieties of infusions, until they covered the entire table except where his modest little pot, cup and saucer sat. I be?gan to see why the Pervect Ten had been called in to help the citizens of Pareley in the first place. Their extravagance had to have put a severe drain on the kingdom's finances. Some of the teas I recognized as the most expensive ever grown. They were for sale in the Bazaar at approximately a gold coin per ounce. For that much the tea would have to nourish a family of eight for a month, not be thrown out af?ter making a mere six cups. Zol sipped from his cup and listened to the exchanges.

“Yes, it is good to explain what you feel,” he kept say?ing. “Through sharing lies clarity and understanding.”

I'd long ago finished my beer. I sat slumped with my fist holding my chin up off the table. I heard birds begin singing outside. Through the window the dark sky began to lighten. Morning was approaching, and no one had really said anything yet. My eyes were burning. I didn't think I could stand one more speech. As the eighth committeefriend stood up and launched into her tale of woe, I in?terrupted her.

“Tell me more about the actual oppression,” I insisted, pulling myself upright. I turned to the assembly, most of which looked as tired as I felt. “You've all been talking about how your committees ought to be involved with their overthrow, but what is it the Pervect Ten have really done to you?”

“Haven't you heard what our friends have been say?ing?” Wensley asked. “They've taken over everything! No one can do what they want to do. They control every coin. They visit all the craft centers, the factories, the farms, and keep track of everything we make.”

“They would take away everything that we've gotten from all the other dimensions, too, if they could,” Ardrahan bleated. “We need it. We haven't got very much magik of our own. All these labor-​saving devices are so useful!”

“And the items we bought to defend ourselves Ñnot that we need defending, no!” Yarg insisted. “We have no ene?mies. Pareley is the safest place you could live. But... just in case... we bought a few things. We feel much safer now that we have them. The Ten want us to give them up!”

“We don't want to be cut off again,” Wensley added. “All these centuries Wuh thought it was alone in the uni?verse. Think what we've been missing! Perhaps we are not very experienced in the ways of other cultures, but how will we learn without going there?”

“Exactly!” a few of the committeefriends agreed with him.

“Yes!”

“They're being perhaps a little too cautious.”

“If our exuberance about our travels circulates as far as the castle,” Gubbeen explained uneasily, “they come and personally invite the traveler to the castle. Just for a chat, of course!”

“They arrest people and take them in for interrogation?” I asked, aghast. “Has anyone been harmed?”

“Er