Myth 18 - MythChief by Asprin, Robert (good non fiction books to read .TXT) ๐
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Read book online ยซMyth 18 - MythChief by Asprin, Robert (good non fiction books to read .TXT) ๐ยป. Author - Asprin, Robert
Myth 18 - MythChief
Myth 18 - MythChief
Myth 18 - MythChief
Myth 18 - MythChief
ONE
โYou can't go home again.โ PRINCESS L. ORGANA
'โI still think this is a bad idea,โ my attractive administra-โtive assistant said, as I reached for the door of the tent.
โYou keep saying that, Bunny,โ I said, pitching my voice low so all the shoppers and merchants passing by us in the streets of the Bazaar at Deva didn't hear me. โWe're just saying 'Hi' to the old gang. They'd expect us to. If any-โthing, they'd be hurt if we didn't.โ
โUh-โhuh. You keep saying that.โ She gave a toss of her short red hair.
I gave up. I didn't know enough women to make sweep-โing generalities, but I knew Bunny, and once she had her mind set on something, it was next to impossible to talk her out of it. Besides, we had reached our destination.
Standing outside the narrow tent that was the headquar-โters of M.Y.T.H., Inc., I paused for a moment to let the memories wash over me before ducking into the short entryway. This had been my home for years, my office and base of operations as the Great Skeeve before I retired. Much of my adult life had been tied to this deceptively small abode. It was a lot bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, to quote everyone who had ever stepped inside to do business.
I started to reach for the tent flap that separated the of-โfice from the outside world, but hesitated. This wasn't my home anymore. It didn't seem right just to barge in. In-โstead, I turned and gave the small gong hanging on the entry way wall a light tap.
โC'mon in,โ a familiar voice called from within.
I felt more than saw Bunny's wince at the greeting. Back when she ran the office, she insisted that formal de-โcorum be maintained on the premises, particularly in front of prospective clients. Obviously, things had loosened up a bit since our departure. They would probably change back again now.
I pushed my way into the interior. โIt's a raid!โ I said, by way of greeting. A massive mountain of a man rose from behind the re-โception desk. โSkeeve!โ he roared. โHey, Nunzio! It's the Boss!โ โHi, Guido,โ I said with genuine pleasure. โHow's it go-โing?โ Ignoring my outstretched hand, he swept me into a close embrace and thumped my back.
โGee, it's good to see you,โ he declared. He held me out at arm's length and gave me a good once-โover. I was pretty sure I hadn't changed much on the outside, being a tallish, skinnyish Klahd with blond hair, but the inner changes were there. I hoped my friends would appreciate them. โLook who's here, Cuz.โ
His cousin Nunzio, a smaller and slighter version of Guido, joined our ranks and started to duplicate Guido's greeting. I fended him off with one hand.
โI'm glad to see you, Nunzio,โ I said, โbut I can only survive one of those bear-โhug greetings a day.โ Bunny stepped forward with her arms outstretched.
โI'll take that hug if he doesn't want it,โ she said. โYou got it,โ Nunzio said in his squeaky little voice as he lifted her into the air. Bunny squealed with delight. โIs Aahz around?โ I said.
โNo. He's over on Perv visiting the Duchess,โ Guido said.
โThe Duchess?โ I said. The Duchess was Aahz's mother. I had met her on my last and only trip to Perv. I had never heard her use her real name, if she had one. โIs anything wrong?โ
โI don't know,โ Guido said. โHe didn't say, and I didn't ask. He should be back in a week or so.โ โI say, Skeeve! Bloody good to see you again.โ โHi, Chumley,โ I said to the Troll who had emerged from the farther depths of the office.
As I've mentioned, the headquarters is bigger on the inside than it appears from the outside. A lot bigger. The enormous purple Troll began by extending a hand, in his reticent fashion, but he, too, ended up smashing me in a hug that left me gasping and coughing out strands of pur-โple fur.
โGlad to see you, too,โ I choked. โIs Tananda around?โ โRight here, Handsome.โ
I was hit by an energetic bundle of curves and softness that wrapped itself around me and showered me with kisses. This time I didn't protest. Some overdone greetings are more welcome than others.
Eventually, we got everything sorted out, and the gang settled into various chairs and sofas or perched on desks. Guido insisted on pulling out the most comfortable arm-โchairs into place for me. I ceded the seat to Bunny and took a wooden-โbacked chair upholstered with basilisk-โleather cushions.
โSo how long are you going to be here at the Bazaar?โ Guido said. โDo you have time for a meal, or shall we just get straight to the drinkin'?โ
โI'm back to stay,โ I said. โI've given it a lot of thought and have decided to come out of retirement.โ
I really don't know what response I was expecting, but what I got wasn't it. There was a long moment of silence while the crew exchanged glances.
โThat's great, Skeeve,โ Guido said at last, but his earlier enthusiasm had left his voice. โI say, what?โ Chumley said. โHappy to hear it, but you know, what'?โ
โYou know, Skeeve, we've changed the operation since the old days,โ Tananda said, carefully. I held up my hand.
โHang on, everybody,โ I said. โBefore things get too awkward, I'm not expecting to walk back in here and take over. In fact, I'm planning
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