Myth 18 - MythChief by Asprin, Robert (good non fiction books to read .TXT) 📕

Great Skeeve is back in business, they'll beat a path to your door.”

They turned to go. Pookie looked back at me.

“Just one more thing. Skeeve. Not everyone is com-​pletely thrilled about your return. Just a friendly re-​minder.”

“Who?” I asked, alarmed.

She shook her head. “I just heard it from one of my con-​nections. Thought you ought to know. Keep your back covered. That's all.”

I set my jaw grimly. “Thanks for the warning,” I said. Bunny's eyes were wide. “I wonder where that rumor came from?”

I gnawed on a knuckle. “I can't pretend I don't have en-​emies,” I said. I had plenty, if I stopped to think about it.

With Pookie's words in mind, I shored up the defenses in our tent. Using the plentiful energy from the force lines overhead, I strung several fine lines of magik that would warn us of intruders. Then I leaned out the back door of our tent, into the fenced-​in yard that abutted our office building in the next dimension. The sky was overcast, and a light drizzle was falling, but the white beast munching grass at the far end of the enclosure didn't seem bothered by it.

“Buttercup,” I called.

The war unicorn came charging toward me and planted his muzzle in my palm. I had thought to put a lump of sugar there as a treat. I stroked his mane.

“Buttercup, I've got a job for you.” His eyes rolled, and his nostrils flared. He understood a fair amount of Klahdish, but I think he read more

in my demeanor than in my words. Gleep stuck his nose under my elbow.

“Maybe you can translate for me,” I told him. “I need you and Buttercup to patrol the tent to make sure no one breaks in. I don't know who's out to get us, but better safe than sorry. You'll be checking things inside, and he'll keep an eye on things back here, to make sure no one sneaks up on us. All right?”

“Gleep!” Gleep touched noses with the unicorn. When Buttercup straightened up, he gave a mighty snort, then danced away, making his first circuit of the yard at a gal-​lop. At each corner he reared up magnificently and let out a yodeling neigh that made the orange-​skinned neighbors glance up from their flower beds. I thought he looked hap-​pier than he had in years. Big Julie was right. He needed to feel needed. Didn't we all?

In spite of Spider's confidence, no one beat a path to my door. Bunny and I distributed piles of my new business cards around the Bazaar, asking merchants to let them sit on the corner of a counter or a table, where potential cli-​ents could pick them up. If they did, we never knew about it. The door of the tent remained undisturbed all that after-​noon and on into the evening. We finally gave up waiting and swatting at Humbees, and went out for dinner.

“I dunno, Skeeve,” the Sen-​Sen Ante Kid said. He was a large, fat man with surprisingly soft hands who was the best Dragon Poker player in all the dimensions. I owned a half interest in the club he played in when he was in the Bazaar. The food was decent. The real attraction was the games of chance and, if he was in town, watching the Kid clean up against the local talent. He gestured at the untidy heap of business cards at the end of the green-​baize-​covered counter adjacent to his special table. “People picked up the cards, read 'em, and put 'em down again. I don't think they have a clue what 'The Right Answer,' means, and they're not gonna pay you to tell them.”

“Are we being too mysterious?” I asked.

The Kid considered the question.

“Maybe. Nobody likes to feel like they don't understand somethin'. And answers are what people think they can figure out for themselves. They pay for merchandise. They pay for food. They pay for magikal services. You might give them a little better hint what you're offering.”

“No,” Bunny said, thoughtfully. “I think we hit it just right. We don't want you to be inundated, and we don't want you running out to solve simple problems. The people who will respond to that will be the ones who really need you enough to swallow their pride and ask.”

“That's brilliant,” I said, shaking my head. “It's not like I need the money. I want a challenge.”

“You'll get it,” the Kid said. “Now that I get what you're looking for, I'll talk it up. Meanwhile, do you want to play? Just for fun?” He shuffled the deck at his fingertips. The cards seemed to dance in the air before gathering together again in a smooth rectangle in the Kid's hand.

“No way.” I laughed. “That's a question I can answer, no charge.”

“You want a piece of advice?” the Kid asked, as we turned to go. “Don't worry too hard about fitting in a niche. Just relax and go with the flow, but keep your eyes open. That's what I do.”

“Thanks,” I said.

Myth 18 - MythChief

FIVE

“You have to put family first.”

CAIN

I admit I eyed the Imp with jaundice as he sidled into the room. Imps, with their bright pink skin and small, almost vestigial horns, looked like lesser Deveels. They weren't as smart, as cunning, or as sartorially sophisticated, but they were sneaky and determined. His shiny, houndstooth checked suit was of somewhat better quality than most of the folk I had met from