In Deeper Waters by F.T. Lukens (most motivational books txt) 📕

a step back and tugged on the hem of his vest to straighten it from Athlen’s pawing. The question scrubbed against an old wound, one that Tal had constantly attempted to bandage but that always betrayed him. A wound that had been reopened when his soft heart led him to free a stranger, only to plunge him into despair over the belief that he’d been responsible for the stranger’s death.

“How dare you question my parentage,” Tal snapped, anger and shame welling thick and hot in the back of his throat. “You’re acting entirely too familiar for someone I barely know. I warned you once about my brother. And the longer I take to return to my table, the higher the chance that my bodyguard will come investigate, and then you’ll surely be caught.”

“I don’t think I like the idea of a royal brat threatening my new friend,” said the man from before. He stood and balled his fists.

“I’m leaving,” Tal said. He nodded to Athlen. “You should too.”

Athlen’s expression fell. He took another drunken step and reached out, but he curled his fingers in when he met Tal’s hard gaze. With a sigh Athlen scooped up the broken tankard and picked at the crack with a torn thumbnail.

“Until later,” he said, smile brittle.

Tal didn’t answer because he didn’t know what he could say that could salvage their interaction. His temper had gotten the better of him when Athlen plucked at his weakness, and he’d alienated the one person whom he longed to connect with. Ashamed in the face of Athlen’s brokenhearted expression, Tal turned away. Without a word he fled.

Cheeks flushed, he danced his way through tables and patrons and sat heavily next to Garrett and Shay. His stew was waiting for him alongside a tankard of mead. He shoveled a spoonful of the stew into his mouth and followed it with a long drag of the honey wine.

“Are you all right, Tally? What took you so long?”

“Nothing,” Tal said, ducking his head. He stuck his spoon in and concentrated on inhaling the lukewarm, stringy rabbit meat and the wilted vegetables.

“Tal,” Shay said, “is it about this morning?”

Tal frowned. “No. It’s not about this morning. It’s about yesterday.”

Garrett’s eyebrows shot up. A barmaid swayed over to Garrett’s side, and he wrapped a friendly arm around her. The laces of her shirt were stretched and close to snapping, and her cleavage was right at Garrett’s eye level. Garrett tickled her side, but he stayed focused on Tal. “The boy from the market?”

“Maybe.” The mead slid down Tal’s throat, delicious and soothing, and between the lack of food, the influx of alcohol, and his embarrassed anger, Tal went light-headed. He suddenly understood the appeal of overindulging.

“Is he here?” Garrett craned his neck to look around.

“He left,” Tal said. After draining the last of his drink, he slammed his mug down and swiped his sleeve across his mouth. His chest heaved. He addressed the maid. “Another.”

Shay was spinning her dagger on the edge on the table in a game only she knew how to play, but with Tal’s demand she allowed it to clatter to the wood. “Are you sure?”

Tal nodded vigorously. “Yes. Isn’t that what this whole experience is supposed to be about? I’m supposed to get drunk and entangled with boys and girls, instead of trying to be nice to villagers.”

Shay’s eyes widened. “Tally… what did this boy say to you? This doesn’t sound like you.”

“Well, what if it does now? What if this is me coming of age?”

Garrett gently pushed the barmaid away and gave her a conciliatory smile. “Tally,” he said once she’d moved to the next table and found another patron.

“My name is Tal. I don’t understand why you can’t get that through your thick skull.”

“Okay, that’s enough. You’ve been nothing but moody since we left the castle. I know you’re upset about… things…,” Garrett said, trailing off.

Tal scoffed. Things. Things. Things like the secret of his magic and the crushing weight of his legacy and the fact that his mere existence could threaten his sister’s wedding and their alliance with Ossetia. Things that preyed on Tal’s mind in the dark, things that separated him from his family and marked him as truly alone.

Garrett continued, “But I’m doing my best. I know I’m not Kest, and I know we have little in common, and—”

Tal groaned. “Please don’t make this about your rivalry with Kest.”

“I don’t have a rivalry with Kest.”

Shay dropped her dagger again. “Oh, please, Commander. You two have always tried to one-up each other.”

“That’s not true.”

Tal slurped down the remnants of his stew as Shay and Garrett argued. Once done, Tal pushed away from the table.

“I’m going back to the ship.”

“We were going to stay in town tonight and get an early start with the carriage in the morning.”

“Have you found a place to stay yet?”

Garrett shrugged. “We can stay anywhere. We have enough gold.”

“So, no, you have not procured us a bed in town for the night. What if all the beds are taken? What if I want to go to bed right now?”

“No one is going to turn royalty away. Tal, please.”

The blatant privilege made Tal’s stomach turn. He put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes heavenward. “I’m going back to the ship. The carriage can come get me in the morning.”

Shay pushed away from the table. “I’ll walk with you.”

Tal crinkled his nose. “No.”

“Tal, you were attacked this morning by someone. Be reasonable.”

“Fine,” he said. “You can walk twenty paces behind me. No closer.”

Shay raised her hands. “Fine, but take this.” She sheathed the dagger and unbuckled the belt. “In case I can’t cover the twenty paces fast enough.”

Grudgingly, Tal took the dagger. He strapped it around his waist, cinching the belt tight. Shay stayed in her seat as Tal made his way to the exit. The sun had set, and the streets were dark, save for the nightly fires, when Tal stepped through the heavy wooden door. The corners