Desperado (Murphy's Lawless: Watch the Skies Book 2) by Kevin Ikenberry (any book recommendations txt) 📕

imagined. All of it felt strangely perfect, even if there were some finer nuances she hadn’t quite nailed down.

“I will be late, again.”

The woman shrugged as if to say things would happen in their own time. For a people so concerned with their survival through the Sear, their almost laconic response to the pressure of time surprised Aliza, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it. Maintaining her cover meant keeping such emotions in check. Following the crowd had always been difficult for her, and being late reporting to Bo, and subsequently to Colonel Murphy, wasn’t her only concern.

She doubted Bo would be too upset with her. While she held the rank of first lieutenant, Bo had been promoted to major and was technically her commander. Yet they were a couple. They’d shared the same bunk since the operation they now called the J’Stull Job. Fraternization, once frowned upon by leaders in modern militaries, wasn’t a concern. For the lot of them, despite the differences in their lifetimes, experiences, and even countries, they were the only friends they had. Moreover, they’d become family. Each of them carried the weight of their previous lives. For some, it was easier to start over than others. Aliza was resilient and independent, yet she’d come to learn she not only needed those around her—she loved them. They filled a void and salved each other’s pain to whatever extent they could. Even in their bunk, Aliza and Bo Moorefield felt the sum of each other’s fears and the uncertainty of the past they had left behind.

Aliza often laid awake at night wondering if she could’ve saved Ben Mazza during Operation Markolet in Palestine; they’d been young, careless, and brave. What she wouldn’t give to go back and stop them and tame their foolish bravado. Ben had died a few meters from her, and she couldn’t save him. And then, as if to underscore the finality of her powerlessness, the Ktor had taken her almost two hundred years into the future.

Bo’s path had been no easier. She knew Bo laid awake at night wondering if he could have saved his marriage. Neither one of them had had the chance to resolve their relationships before fate took the opportunity out of their hands. It weighed heavily on them both, yet Aliza framed the experience differently after her time in Dachau. During the height of the Holocaust, she believed even the worst possible life beyond those walls would be easier than surviving within them. Human relationships were simple things, comparatively. There was no need to complicate the ideas of love and hate with what Bo called baggage. As long as they both looked ahead, instead of into the past, the rest should have been easy. Yet, both of them struggled.

Things weren’t easy, and she knew better than to assume they would be. The mission was inherently dangerous, and they leaned on one another as best they could. Bo could be quiet, almost sullen at times. She knew he took criticism personally and dealt with lingering doubts about himself and the marriage he’d lost. When those times came, all she could do was weather it and hold fast to the truth of the pattern: Bo would forgive himself, and his smile would return. It was dumb luck he was in the unsmiling phase when she’d had to leave. The order from Colonel Murphy had come in the middle of the night almost a month ago. Aliza quietly gathered her things and set off for the perimeter to join up with Momani and her band, ostensibly just another worker going to the city to take part in the harvest.

Bo had met her at the gate astride his whinaalani, Scout. The whinnie cooed a greeting. Bo’s hand touched the brim of his boonie cap.

“On patrol for the night?” Aliza stepped up next to the whinnie and patted its muscular neck.

Bo nodded. “George Patton said to never ask your troops to do something you wouldn’t do yourself.”

“I’ll try to remember that.”

Bo smiled at her. “I wish you wouldn’t be mad at me.”

Aliza took a deep breath. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Sometimes I feel like I can’t say anything right.”

“And you think that’s better than saying nothing at all?” Aliza kicked at the dirt and tried to rein in her rising frustration. “Let me love you the way I can.”

Bo glanced up at the distant horizon for a long moment. The way he did when trying to formulate his words. Aliza kept quiet, making him reply. He started slowly. “Maybe I could say the same about loving you. I do my best, but I stay quiet so my words don’t get in the way. Past experience tells me I screw things up when I talk. I clam up so I don’t sound like an idiot and upset someone I care about. There’s so much I want to say, but….” He ended with a shrug.

Aliza stared up at him. She knew he cared for her, but it was so damn hard to get him to say anything. “You’re not an idiot, Bo. You know that, and you know I love you, yes?”

His eyes bored through her, and his face was still as stone. Standing at the gate, she waited for him to climb down from Scout and wrap her in his embrace. When it was apparent he would not, she tried not to frown and dammed the tears trying to leak from her eyes. “One of these days you’ll have to tell me what’s on your mind. Be safe, and I’ll see you soon.”

He touched his cap again. “I will. I love you, too.”

Aliza realized she’d frozen halfway through dressing herself. She drew in a quick, sharp breath as the humble and familiar walls of the house seemed to suddenly reappear around her. If any of the others noticed, no one said anything. Aliza