Discovering Truths by B. Benfield (chrysanthemum read aloud .TXT) 📕

work my hand against him, then leaned up to his neck, placing soft, slow kisses.

“Fuck. I’m not going to last.”

“Then don’t.”

I wanted to see him come apart just the way he did me. It didn’t take long before that moment came. His head fell back against the headrest and he whispered my name as he lost all control.

When he came down from his high, he leaned over to the glove box and pulled out some napkins, cleaning himself and my hand up, then his mouth was on me again.

“You’re so amazing.” He said.

“Not really. I’m just really into you.”

“I’m into you too, Abby. You have no idea.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

As I reflected on that encounter, I started to worry that my feelings were becoming deeper. Going into this, I didn’t know what I expected, but I wasn’t sure that I expected to feel this strongly about someone. The logical side of my brain told me to end things now before I got hurt, but there was no way I was losing Gage. He was the only thing keeping me sane.

I wondered if he had these feelings too, or if I was the only crazy one. What were his expectations when it came to us? Was he only looking for the physical? Was he using me for sex? Even though we hadn’t gotten to that point, we’d come close, and the way things were heading, I knew it would be happening soon. What then? It kind of hurt to think that he might be only using me, but then again, I wouldn’t be surprised. Men had a different way of thinking. I didn’t want to believe that. I wanted to believe that he was genuine, but I couldn’t stop my brain from thinking the worst. I didn’t want to think about any of this, honestly, so I tried my hardest to bury it in the back of my mind. My only problem was that I was an over-thinker, and these thoughts haunted me often. It still wasn’t enough for me to end things with Gage. I only wished for things to stay how they were in this moment, with good vibes and feelings of contentment.

***

Marcus came home at eight that evening, which was late, but not as late as usual.

“I didn’t bother cooking.” I said.

“It’s fine. Had a late lunch, I’m not really even hungry,” he said. “Long day.”

Did he forget that I had an interview today? Was he going to ask me about that? I hadn’t heard a peep from him all day. In his mind, I wasn’t a concern.

“Well, I got that job.” I said.

“Oh gosh, I totally forgot you had that interview.” That figures. “They offered you the job already?”

“Yeah, he offered me the job on the spot actually.”

“Well good for you, babe,” he said, placing a small kiss on my forehead.

He didn’t ask any details about the job, or any specifics from my interview. He carried his things upstairs and said he was going to take a shower. I stood at the kitchen counter in awe. What kind of relationship was this? Normal married people share things with each other, especially big things like a new job. Did he really think I was that ignorant? Of course he does. He thought I really believed that work had him so “busy” and “stressed” that he was having a hard time focusing on other things. Maybe at one time I believed that story, but not anymore. I knew what was occupying his time and mind.

I walked upstairs and heard the shower running. I figured I’d volunteer some information since he wasn’t going to ask. I had to keep things between us semi-normal.

“So, the job is Monday through Thursday and I’ll have Fridays off,” I said, leaning against the bathroom counter.

“That’s nice. What position was it again?”

I rolled my eyes, thankful that the shower curtain was dark and he couldn’t see me. “I’ll be the Administrative Assistant to the Underwriting Manager for Security Financial. It’s a loan company.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard of them,” he said. “Nice.”

“Yeah it should be pretty good. I’m excited.”

“We’re finalizing the sale of the firm Friday,” he said, changing the subject. “Then George’s retirement party is Friday night.”

“You prepared for all that?” I was asking about the finalization of the sale; I knew he was prepared for the “retirement party.” She’d be there and they’d probably have their own party afterward.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he said. “Let the work begin.”

I didn’t understand how there was going to be much more work than he had already, but hey, what did I know about law, or running a business? At this point, I didn’t care. It was obvious I was no longer his first priority, and he definitely wasn’t mine.

Gage: I have to have you next week.

I laid in bed that night, reading and studying up on my new company while I looked over paperwork that the manager e-mailed to me. This message came through, distracting my work. I switched over to Messenger and smiled, typing a reply.

Me: You do?

His reply was instant.

Gage: Yes. I’m going to get us a room.

Me: A room? Like a hotel room?

Gage: Yes.

Me: That makes me feel like a hooker…

Gage: We don’t really have any other options, baby.

Me: I know…

Gage: I’ve thought about you all day. Every time we’re together it’s amazing. I have to have all of you.

Me: You know I start my job Monday…

Gage: I was thinking I could get us a room Wednesday. Maybe meet at lunch on Wednesday and Thursday? Maybe even Thursday morning?

Me: That can probably work. I’m a little nervous now though.

Gage: Why?

Me: Just taking that step…going that far…and in a hotel…so risqué.

Gage: It is kind of nerve-wracking, I