Irresistible Bachelors: Books 1-5 by Landish, Lauren (bts books to read TXT) 📕

Cassie salutes me. “Got it. No more fried ballsacks!”

Staring into her smiling face, I can see disaster just over the horizon, but I’m hoping I’m wrong. If Myra says for her to go and watch, I’ll go with it.Anthony

“Fucking asshole!”

Smack!

My head turns slightly to the side, a burning sting on my cheek. Clenching my jaw, I slowly turn my head around to gaze at the furious little minx dressed in a skintight blue dress who’s practically foaming at the mouth.

Why does it always seem like chicks can’t wait to slap me? Do I have a sign on my face that says Slap Me?

“This is the second time you’ve humiliated me!” Samantha fumes, clenching her hands and standing up on her tiptoes to try to get in my face. She still barely reaches my chin, and that’s in three-inch heels. I’ve heard that short chicks can be feisty, and redheads even feistier. I guess I should have known that going out with a five-foot-tall redhead was dangerous for my health. “I was waiting here for an hour and everyone was looking at me like I was crazy!”

Well, you are crazy.

“Calm down,” I say placatingly, glancing around at the crowd of people flowing around us. We’re in a shopping mall square. I’d just gotten here and barely had the chance to approach Sam before she goes all MMA on my ass. “Something unexpected came up. I’m sorry I didn’t call.”

I don’t bother telling her I was handling business for Oliver, my big brother. Yeah, I should’ve called, but I lost track of time. It didn’t seem like it took that long. I know I’m at fault here, but Samantha hasn’t seemed interested in my job before. She’s only wanted to know that I’d be there to show her a good time and then fuck her until she passes out. Usually, I’ve delivered on both.

I would’ve tonight, too, but Oliver cockblocked me. I went into town to check out an eightplex, nothing major, and got held up by an overzealous lady who wouldn’t stop talking. She wasn’t even interested in selling the property. She just wanted to have someone to pour out her life story to. I bet her tenants know better than to hand-deliver the rent checks.

“An hour!” Sam screeches, causing heads to turn as she jerks me out of my thoughts. “We had a date, Tony! A date!”

I scratch at the stubble on my jaw. This is turning left quickly. The biggest problem is, I find myself not really caring that she’s mad. Especially since she just bitch slapped my ass.

“Well, I’m sorry,” I half mutter.

Samantha scowls at me, crossing her arms across her chest. “Sorry isn’t good enough. You know what my girlfriends say? That I made you up. That you are a fictional character whom I only dream about being amazing in bed, and I named you after the vibrator that I carry around in my purse.”

I know I shouldn’t, but I laugh. “You carry a vibrator around in your purse?”

My laughter only enrages her. “That’s funny to you?” she snarls. “It was one damn time, and now you gotta jump on my back too?”

I try my best to hold in my grin, and I hold my hands up in surrender instead. It does me no good. “No, I didn’t mean to—”

“You know what?” Sam yells, cutting me off, “Fuck you! I’m done!”

Her dismissal is broadcast to everyone and their grandmother, and she spins on her heel and disappears in the crowd. A few of the guys walking by give me commiserating looks, but a few are also smirking—single guys who are probably thinking, fuck it, it’s my chance now, homey.

For a moment, I stand there, debating on whether to go after her. After a moment, I shrug. It just isn’t worth my damn time. We’ve only been going out for a month, and she already thinks I owe her the world. The only thing I’ve owed her is what I’ve given back, toe-curling orgasms that leave her knocked out in bed. But she seems to think my getting her off is some sort of privilege. I don’t need that drama. Honestly, it feels like I’ve just been going through the motions.

But the truth is, I’ve been in one failed relationship after another. I always do something fucking stupid. I guess this is another one of those situations. A few times, it was because I was scared to commit. I saw the relationship my father had with my mom. I saw how he left her and how Mom struggled for years, refusing the crumbs from his table. I don’t want to be that dude.

I run my hand through my hair, looking around. I still feel bad for Sam. I honestly didn’t mean to be late. But it’s actually best that we part ways now rather than later. I could already tell she wasn’t the one, so why prolong it?

I rub my cheek. It still burns from the slap, but another girl comes to mind. I fucked that up within a few minutes of talking to her. Shit, I thought I was feeling a naughty vibe from her and figured she’d dig it. I remember the night of the wedding and how she felt for that one dance. The way she looked, and then I went and . . .

I push the thought out of my head. Hannah’s far gone, in another city and probably with a guy who treats her right. Hell, she could be knocked up by now. I only knew her for a second. It was just heated lust.

Fuck it, the night is ruined. I could go catch the movie we were supposed to see. I’d talked her into something decent . . .

My phone buzzes and I pull it out. It’s a text from Oliver.

Hey, I need 2 C U asap.

Sighing, I tap out a response.

Can it wait? Rly not in mood to talk biz right now.

No. It’s important.

Fine. Have it ur way.