Candide by Voltaire (rooftoppers .txt) ๐
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Candide is the picaresque tale of the titular characterโs fantastical journey from an insular, idealized life in a picturesque castle through the difficulties and evils of the real world. Satirical, comical, witty, and cutting, Candide was widely banned in its day for containing blasphemous and seditious concepts. Despite that, it survived controversy to become an important book in the Western literary heritage. Today Candide remains a breezy and darkly funny read.
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- Author: Voltaire
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The old philosopher, whose name was Martin, embarked then with Candide for Bordeaux. They had both seen and suffered a great deal; and if the vessel had sailed from Surinam to Japan, by the Cape of Good Hope, the subject of moral and natural evil would have enabled them to entertain one another during the whole voyage.
Candide, however, had one great advantage over Martin, in that he always hoped to see Miss Cunรฉgonde; whereas Martin had nothing at all to hope. Besides, Candide was possessed of money and jewels, and though he had lost one hundred large red sheep, laden with the greatest treasure upon earth; though the knavery of the Dutch skipper still sat heavy upon his mind; yet when he reflected upon what he had still left, and when he mentioned the name of Cunรฉgonde, especially towards the latter end of a repast, he inclined to Panglossโs doctrine.
โBut you, Mr. Martin,โ said he to the philosopher, โwhat do you think of all this? what are your ideas on moral and natural evil?โ
โSir,โ answered Martin, โour priests accused me of being a Socinian, but the real fact is I am a Manichean.โ21
โYou jest,โ said Candide; โthere are no longer Manicheans in the world.โ
โI am one,โ said Martin. โI cannot help it; I know not how to think otherwise.โ
โSurely you must be possessed by the devil,โ said Candide.
โHe is so deeply concerned in the affairs of this world,โ answered Martin, โthat he may very well be in me, as well as in everybody else; but I own to you that when I cast an eye on this globe, or rather on this little ball, I cannot help thinking that God has abandoned it to some malignant being. I except, always, El Dorado. I scarcely ever knew a city that did not desire the destruction of a neighbouring city, nor a family that did not wish to exterminate some other family. Everywhere the weak execrate the powerful, before whom they cringe; and the powerful beat them like sheep whose wool and flesh they sell. A million regimented assassins, from one extremity of Europe to the other, get their bread by disciplined depredation and murder, for want of more honest employment. Even in those cities which seem to enjoy peace, and where the arts flourish, the inhabitants are devoured by more envy, care, and uneasiness than are experienced by a besieged town. Secret griefs are more cruel than public calamities. In a word I have seen so much, and experienced so much that I am a Manichean.โ
โThere are, however, some things good,โ said Candide.
โThat may be,โ said Martin; โbut I know them not.โ
In the middle of this dispute they heard the report of cannon; it redoubled every instant. Each took out his glass. They saw two ships in close fight about three miles off. The wind brought both so near to the French vessel that our travellers had the pleasure of seeing the fight at their ease. At length one let off a broadside, so low and so truly aimed, that the other sank to the bottom. Candide and Martin could plainly perceive a hundred men on the deck of the sinking vessel; they raised their hands to heaven and uttered terrible outcries, and the next moment were swallowed up by the sea.
โWell,โ said Martin, โthis is how men treat one another.โ
โIt is true,โ said Candide; โthere is something diabolical in this affair.โ
While speaking, he saw he knew not what, of a shining red, swimming close to the vessel. They put out the longboat to see what it could be: it was one of his sheep! Candide was more rejoiced at the recovery of this one sheep than he had been grieved at the loss of the hundred laden with the large diamonds of El Dorado.
The French captain soon saw that the captain of the victorious vessel was a Spaniard, and that the other was a Dutch pirate, and the very same one who had robbed Candide. The immense plunder which this villain had amassed, was buried with him in the sea, and out of the whole only one sheep was saved.
โYou see,โ said Candide to Martin, โthat crime is sometimes punished. This rogue of a Dutch skipper has met with the fate he deserved.โ
โYes,โ said Martin; โbut why should the passengers be doomed also to destruction? God has punished the knave, and the devil has drowned the rest.โ
The French and Spanish ships continued their course, and Candide continued his conversation with Martin. They disputed fifteen successive days, and on the last of those fifteen days, they were as far advanced as on the first. But, however, they chatted, they communicated ideas, they consoled each other. Candide caressed his sheep.
โSince I have found thee again,โ said he, โI may likewise chance to find my Cunรฉgonde.โ
XXI Candide and Martin, Reasoning, Draw Near the Coast of FranceAt length they descried the coast of France.
โWere you ever in France, Mr. Martin?โ said Candide.
โYes,โ said Martin, โI have been in several provinces. In some one-half of the people are fools, in others they are too cunning; in some they are weak and simple, in others they affect to be witty; in all, the principal occupation is love, the next is slander, and the third is talking nonsense.โ
โBut, Mr. Martin, have you seen Paris?โ
โYes, I have. All these kinds are found there. It is a chaosโ โa confused multitude, where everybody seeks pleasure and scarcely anyone finds it, at least as it appeared to me. I made
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