Aretha Moon and the Dead Hairdresser: Aretha Moon Book 2 (Aretha Moon Mysteries) by Linda Ross (pdf to ebook reader txt) 📕

the Mark Twain Dinette and I tripped over the threshold.  “These things are higher than they used to be,” I complained.

“That’s not the only thing that’s higher,” Thelma muttered.  She pushed me into a booth and sat down opposite.  She did the ordering, getting a coffee for herself and a Diet Pepsi for me.

“Can’t I have pie?” I asked.  “I never finished my apple pie.”

“That’s because you ate three brownies.  I kept trying to tell you.”

“All you did was twitch your head,” I said.  “What were you doing, sending code?”

“Those plants on the back porch.  They weren’t exactly philodendrons.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, boy,” Thelma said, looking at the door.  “Just what we need now.”

I tried to crane my head around to look and felt dizzy.  Then Jimmy was standing by the booth.  “How did you do that?” I asked.

“Do what?”

“You were in the doorway and now you’re right here.”

Jimmy looked at me and then at Thelma.  Slowly he slid into the booth next to me, frowning.

“What’s going on?” he asked suspiciously.

“it’s like magic,” I said.  “You were there and now you’re here.”  I poked his bicep with each word.  I liked the feel of his bicep, nice and hard.  He was wearing jeans and a white T-shirt under a leather jacket.  He looked good.  Really good.

“You’re high,” he said incredulously.  Then to Thelma, “She’s high.”

“As a kite,” Thelma agreed.

“How did this happen?”

I leaned closer to him and lowered my voice.  “Don’t tell anyone, but we went to see Ralph Pierce.  Hey,” I said, something just occurring to me.  “Eileen is dating Ralph McCready.  They’re both Ralphs.  Do you think they’re brothers?”

“Oh, boy,” Thelma said, covering her face with her hands.

“Let me guess,” Jimmy said.  “You smoked a little weed during your visit.”

“Brownies,” Thelma said.  “And apparently Aretha is an innocent.  She had no idea.”

Jimmy started to smile, then tried to hide it.  “How the hell did you two get near the place?  When I went out there with another officer we couldn’t even get out of the car because of that dog.”

“Aretha is really good with dogs.  And with Mr. Pierce.”  Thelma flipped open her phone and scrolled to a photo, then pushed it across the table to Jimmy.  “A list of all the people who visited Kara.  Pierce got their license plate numbers.”

Jimmy whistled.  “Nice.”  He looked at me and shook his head.  “I have a new appreciation of your talents.”

“Well, you should,” I said.  “I’m really very versatile.  I can show you if you like.”  I wiggled my eyebrows at him.

“Okay,” Jimmy said, standing up.  “I’m taking her home to sober up.  Can you make an excuse at work?”

Thelma nodded.  “I’ll leave her car at the office.”

“Work,” I said, frowning at Jimmy.  “So why aren’t you there?  At work?”

“Got a day off.  And, God help me, this is how I’m spending the rest of it.”

Jimmy drove me home and took my keys to unlock the door for me.  I expected to be deposited inside while he went his merry way, but he came in with me.  Nancy sniffed his shoes and gave him the poodle equivalent of a flirty smile.

“I have to get her out before she pees on your shoes,” I said, scooping up Nancy and heading for the door.  Too late.  I was trailing a pee leak, which was now on my shirt and jeans.  When I brought  Nancy back in, Jimmy told me to get a shower and firmly pointed me in the direction of the bathroom.

“And don’t eat the soap,” he said.  I thought that was unnecessarily insulting, but on second thought my almond oil soap did smell pretty good and I was starting to get hungry.

I felt a lot better after showering and washing my hair.  I started to put my clothes back on, but they smelled of dog pee.  I slipped my underpants back on since my jeans had protected them and tossed everything else in the hamper.  I had a thick green terrycloth robe hanging on the door, and I put that on and tied it tightly at the waist.  I planned on slipping out to my bedroom and finding some clean clothes, but when I opened the door Jimmy called to me from the kitchen.

“Where’s your popcorn popper?”

“Top shelf in the pantry,” I said.  I stood there uncertainly.

Jimmy gestured to the couch.  “Sit down.  I put a Diet Coke on the coffee table for you.  I’ll get the popcorn made.”

So I sat and gathered my robe around me.  I propped my bare feet on the coffee table while I started on the soda.  I was still feeling pretty woozy, and I giggled when I looked at my toes.

Jimmy had the popcorn made in ten minutes and came to sit beside me.  The popcorn smelled heavenly, and I dug in.  “I’m starved,” I said.  I giggled again.

“Yeah, I figured you would be.  I ordered a pizza from the Brick Oven, and it should be here any minute.”  He picked up the remote and turned on the TV.  The movie was Planes, Trains and Automobiles, and I got an idea.  The pizza arrived at that moment, and while Jimmy was meeting the delivery guy at the door I got up and pulled a permanent marker from a kitchen drawer.  I sat back down and started drawing a face and hair on the nail of my big toe.

“There,” I said in satisfaction.

Jimmy brought the pizza in and set it on the coffee table, then looked at my toe.

“What happened here?” he asked.

“Don’t you think my toe looks like John Candy?”  I wiggled it in the air and did my best John Candy impression.  “My toe looks like John Candy, and I’m an ace reporter.”

“Honey, eat your pizza.”

I didn’t need any encouragement on