Beautifully Torn by Charity Parkerson (books for men to read .txt) 📕

“Stop it, Hudson. I love you. I want to be with you. Give me time to make it happen. I’m not like Jinx. It’s not possible for me to drop everything and move, but I want to be with you.”

Hudson stopped pacing, but the madness didn’t leave his eyes. “It’s okay, Rocky. I know you don’t really love me. It’s not possible for anyone to love the real me.”

The devastation in Hudson’s expression nearly took out Rocky’s knees. He didn’t understand what was happening with Hudson, but he knew he had to try to save him. Without thinking things through, Rocky dropped to one knee. “Marry me. If that’s what it takes to make you understand I love you every bit as much as I love Jinx, then this is what I’ll do. I would gladly be your husband if you’ll stop and see how much I love you and want to be here.”

“Oh.”

Rocky’s head whipped around at the sound of surprise coming from the open doorway.

Jinx stood there, looking between them and taking in the scene. It didn’t take long for Jinx to correctly surmise the situation. He looked devastated as he motioned between them. “I see.” He visibly swallowed. “I guess I’ll get out of the way, then.”

Rocky jumped to his feet. “No. That’s not...” He rubbed his forehead. There was no way to explain without admitting he was trying to save Hudson from melting down. That might drive Hudson completely over the edge. He was in the worst position he had ever been in, and that said a lot. He had no fucking clue what had happened to his life in the last fifteen minutes. “I just...” Rocky made a helpless gesture.

Jinx nodded. “I see.”

“You don’t.” Rocky knew he didn’t because he looked leveled and done.

Jinx nodded again. It was a jerky motion. He walked away. Rocky and Hudson chased after him.

Hudson called out, trying to stop him. “Where are you going, baby? I just got home.”

Jinx didn’t slow or look their way. “You’re right. You should get to relax and enjoy your marriage proposal.” Jinx snatched up his keys from the tray by the door. He didn’t even slow to put on his shoes before he was out the door. Tito quickly stepped aside to keep from getting run over. He looked stoic with a box still in his arms. Hudson followed Jinx out, begging for Jinx to stay and talk about this.

Rocky’s feet seemed to stick to the living room floor. He couldn’t budge. Everything beautiful about his life fell apart around him and he was helpless. All Rocky wanted was to make Hudson well. Hudson was obviously at the edge of another breakdown and doubting their relationship and anyone’s ability to love him. Rocky hadn’t meant to hurt Jinx. He hadn’t been thinking.

Hudson stormed back into the house. His face was red, and his features were hard. He pointed the still open pocketknife at Rocky. “What in the fuck did you just do? You knew he wanted to get married. You swore you never wanted that. How could you do that to him? To us?”

Rocky made a helpless gesture. Everything was slipping through his fingers. “I just didn’t want you to doubt us anymore. You’re always gone and I—”

“So this is somehow my fault? No. Just no. You’re right. I’m always gone, and it hurts me. My heart is always here with you two and it’s hard. I’ve never had the greatest mental health, but you knew that going in. What would’ve happened if I said yes? You just pushed him out—like he didn’t even matter. That was never supposed to happen.”

Rocky couldn’t think straight. Everything hurt. “You told me to marry Jinx. Now you’re against marriage? Now I’m destroying us?”

Hudson tugged at his own hair, as if the frustration of everything was too much. “Don’t you get it? I’m okay with being the outsider. Being with Jinx and you is all I need. I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me this is forever. All I wanted tonight was to feel all the love I’ve been denied the last six months. That’s it, and you drove part of us away. How could you shit on us like that?”

Rocky felt completely powerless. Words failed him. One second, they had been on the verge of a great night. The next, they were here. As he looked on, Hudson found his phone and had it to his ear. Jinx’s phone rang on the coffee table. A roar tore from Hudson. He threw his phone so hard, it left a hole in the wall before crashing to the floor. His crazed gaze landed on Rocky. “I want you out.”

Rocky opened his mouth. No words came out.

Hudson shook his head. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. I just want you gone.”

Before Rocky could find his voice, Tito took his arm and dragged him toward the door. Rocky’s gaze stayed glued on Hudson. Hudson went back to pacing and tugging his hair. Rocky’s throat swelled to nearly closed. Outside, Tito forced Rocky to look at him. He snapped his fingers in Rocky’s face until he had his full attention.

“Listen. You can’t help him right now. He’s in the middle of an episode. There’s nothing you can do. Being here is only making things worse. Let him get back on his meds and calm down. You can’t fix anything until then.”

Rage and hurt had Rocky lashing out at Tito. “What in the fuck are you taking about?”

Tito’s expression snapped closed. “You really don’t know, do you?”

Rocky was on the verge of throwing hands just to let some pain loose. “Know what?”

“Hudson is bipolar. He’s having a manic episode.”

Rocky’s gaze shot to the door. He wanted to rush back inside.

As if reading his mind, Tito kept a tight grip on Rocky’s arm to keep him from going anywhere. “You can’t help him. He’s upset, and