He Who Gets Slapped by Leonid Andreyev (children's ebooks free online .TXT) 📕

table. Mancini Ah! merci, He. But, please, none of this bourgeoise exploding of corks; be slower and more modest. Send the bill to Baron Regnard. Then, we will be here, Briquet. I must go. Zinida Looks at her watch. Yes, the act is going to end soon. Mancini Heavens! Disappears in a hurry. Briquet The devil take him! Zinida Pointing to the waiter. Not so loud, Louis! Briquet No! The devil take him! And why couldn’t you help me, Mother? You left me alone to talk to him. High Society! High pleasures! Swindler! He and Zinida laugh. The waiters smile. Briquet To the waiters. What are you laughing about? You can go. We will help ourselves. Whiskey and soda, Jean! In a low and angry voice. Champagne! Enter Jackson, in his clown’s costume. Jackson A whiskey and soda for me, too! At least I hear some laughter here. Those idiots have simply forgotten how to laugh. My sun was rising and setting and crawling all over the ring⁠—and not a smile! Look at my bottom, shines like a mirror! Turns around quickly. Beg your pardon, Zinida. And you don’t look badly tonight, He. Look out for your cheeks. I hate beauties. Briquet A benefit performance crowd! Jackson Looking in a hand mirror, correcting his makeup. In the orchestra there are some Barons and Egyptian mummies. I got a bellyache from fright. I am an honest clown. I can’t stand it when they look at me as if I had stolen a handkerchief. He, please give them a good many slaps tonight. He Be quiet, Jim. I shall avenge you. He goes out. Zinida And how is Bezano? Jackson Grumbling. Bezano! A crazy success. But he is crazy, he will break his neck tomorrow. Why does he run such a risk? Or perhaps he has wings, like a god? Devil take it. It’s disgusting to look at him. It’s not work any more. Briquet You are right, Jim! It is not work any more. To your health, old comrade, Jackson. Jackson To yours, Louis. Briquet It is not work any more, since these Barons came here! Do you hear? They are laughing. But I am indignant, I am indignant, Jim! What do they want here, these Barons? Let them steal hens in other hen roosts, and leave us in peace. Ah! Had I been Secretary of the Interior, I should have made an iron fence between us and those people. Jackson I am very sorry myself for our dear little Consuelo. I don’t know why, but it seems to me that we all look today more like swindlers than honest artists. Don’t you think so, Zinida? Zinida Everybody does what he wants. It’s Consuelo’s business and her father’s. Briquet No, Mother, that’s not true! Not everybody does what he wants, but it turns out this way⁠ ⁠… devil knows why. Enter Angelica and Thomas, an athlete. Angelica Is this where we’re going to have champagne? Briquet And you’re glad already? Thomas There it is! Oh, oh, what a lot! Angelica The Count told me to come here. I met him. Briquet Angrily. All right, if he said so, but there is no reason to enjoy it. Look out, Angelica, you will have a bad end. I see you through and through. How does she work, Thomas? Thomas Very well. Angelica In a low voice. How angry Papa Briquet is tonight. Enter He, Tilly, Polly, and other actors, all in their costumes. Tilly Do you really want champagne? Polly I don’t want it at all. Do you, Tilly? Tilly And I don’t want it. He, did you see how the Count walks? Walks, imitating Mancini. Laughter. Polly Let me be the Baron. Take my arm. Look out, ass, you stepped on my beloved family tree! Angelica It’ll soon be finished. Consuelo is galloping now. It is her waltz. What a success she is having! All listen to the waltz. Tilly and Polly are singing it softly. Angelica She is so beautiful! Are those her flowers? They listen. Suddenly, a crash as if a broken wall were tumbling down: applause, shouting, screaming; much motion on the stage. The actors are pouring champagne. New ones come in, talking and laughing. When they notice the director and the champagne, they become quiet and modest. Voices They’re coming! What a success! I should say, since all the orchestra seats.⁠ ⁠… And what will it be when they see the Tango? Don’t be envious, Alphonse. Briquet Silence! Not so much noise, please! Zinida, look here, don’t be so quiet! High society! Enter Consuelo, on the arm of the Baron who is stiff and erect. She is happy. Mancini, serious and happy. Behind them, riders, actors, actresses. The Baron has in his buttonhole a fiery-red rose. All applaud and cry: “Bravo, bravo!” Consuelo Friends⁠ ⁠… my dears⁠ ⁠… Father, I can’t⁠ ⁠… Throws herself into Mancini’s arms, and hides her face on his shoulders. Mancini looks with a smile over her head at the Baron. Baron smiles slightly, but remains earnest and motionless. A new burst of applause. Briquet Enough, children! Enough! Mancini Calm yourself, calm yourself, my child. How they all love you! Taking a step forward. Ladies and gentlemen, Baron Regnard did me the honour yesterday, to ask for the hand of my daughter, the Countess Veronica, whom you knew under the name of Consuelo. Please take your glasses. Consuelo No, I am still Consuelo, tonight, and I shall always be Consuelo! Zinida, dear! Falls on the neck of Zinida. Fresh applause. Briquet Stop it! Silence! Take your glasses. What are you standing here for? If you came, then take the glasses. Tilly Trembling. They are frightened. You take yours first, Papa, and we will follow. They take the glasses. Consuelo is near the Baron, holding the sleeve of his dress coat with her left hand. In her right hand, she has a glass of champagne, which spills over. Baron You are spilling your wine, Consuelo. Consuelo Ah! It is nothing!