Manners and Social Usages by Mrs John M. E. W. Sherwood (best english novels for beginners .TXT) đź“•
Now the question comes up, and here doctors disagree: When may alady call by proxy, or when may she send her card, or when mustshe call in person?
After a dinner-party a guest must call in person and inquire ifthe hostess is at home. For other entertainments it is allowed, inNew York, that the lady call by proxy, or that she simply send hercard. In sending to inquire for a person's health, cards may besent by a servant, with a kindly message.
No first visit should, however, be returned by card only; thiswould be considered a slight, unless followed by an invitation.The size of New York, the great distances, the busy life of awoman of charities, large family, and immense circle ofacquaintances may render a pers
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fact that the Queen had placed Windsor Castle at the disposal of
the Prince for his use during Ascot week, but that when she
learned that two somewhat conspicuous American beauties were
expected, she rescinded the loan and told the Prince to entertain
his guests elsewhere.
CHAPTER XX.
INCONGRUITIES OF DRESS.
We are all aware of the value of a costume, such as the dress of
the Pompadour era: the Swiss peasant’s bodice, the Normandy cap,
the faldetta of the Maltese, the Hungarian national dress, the
early English, the Puritan square-cut, the Spanish mantilla, the
Roman scarf and white cap—all these come before us; and as we
mention each characteristic garment there steps out on the canvas
of memory a neat little figure, in which every detail from shoe to
head-dress is harmonious.
No one in his wildest dreams, however, could set out with the
picture of a marquise, and top it off with a Normandy cap. Nor
could he put powder on the dark hair of the jaunty little
Hungarian. The beauty of these costumes is seen in each as a
whole, and not in the parts separately. The marquise must wear
pink or blue, or some light color; she must have the long waist,
the square-cut corsage, the large hoop, the neat slipper, with
rosette and high heel, the rouge and patches to supplement her
powdered hair, or she is no marquise.
The Swiss peasant must have the short skirt, the white chemisette,
the black velvet bodice, the cross and ribbon, the coarse shoes,
and the head-dress of her canton; the Normandy peasant her dark,
striking dress, her high-heeled, gold-buckled shoe, and her white
apron; the Hungarian her neat, military scarlet jacket, braided
with gold, her scant petticoat and military boot, her high cap and
feather. The dress of the English peasant, known now as the
“Mother Hubbard” hat and cloak, very familiar to the students of
costumes as belonging to the countrywomen of Shakspeare’s time,
demands the short, bunched-up petticoat and high-heeled, high-cut
shoes to make it perfect.
We live in an age, however, when fashion, irrespective of artistic
principle, mixes up all these costumes, and borrows a hat here and
a shoe there, the effect of each garment, diverted from its
original intention, being lost.
If “all things by their season seasoned are,” so is all dress (or
it should be) seasonable and comprehensive, congruous and
complete. The one great secret of the success of the French as
artists and magicians of female costume is that they consider the
entire figure and its demands, the conditions of life and of
luxury, the propriety of the substance, and the needs of the
wearer. A lady who is to tread a velvet carpet or a parqueted
floor does not need a wooden shoe; she needs a satin slipper or
boot. Yet in the modern drawing-room we sometimes see a young lady
dancing in a heavy Balmoral boot which is only fitted for the bogs
and heather of a Scotch tramp. The presence of a short dress in a
drawing-room, or of a long train in the street, is part of the
general incongruity of dress.
The use of the ulster and the Derby hat became apparent on English
yachts, where women learned to put themselves in the attitude of
men, and very properly adopted the storm jib; but, if one of those
women had been told that she would, sooner or later, appear in
this dress in the streets of London, she would have been shocked.
In the days of the French emigration, when highborn ladies escaped
on board friendly vessels in the harbor of Honfleur, many of them
had on the long-waisted and full-skirted overcoats of their
husbands, who preferred to shiver rather than endure the pain of
seeing their wives suffer from cold. These figures were observed
by London tailors and dressmakers, and out of them grew the
English pelisse which afterwards came into fashion. On a stout
Englishwoman the effect was singularly absurd, and many of the
early caricatures give us the benefit of this incongruity; for
although a small figure looks well in a pelisse, a stout one never
does. The Englishwoman who weighs two or three hundred pounds
should wear a sacque, a shawl, or a loose cloak, instead of a
tight-waisted pelisse. However, we are diverging. The sense of the
personally becoming is still another branch of the great subject
of dress. A velvet dress, for instance, demands for its trimmings
expensive and real lace. It should not be supplemented by Breton
or imitation Valenciennes. All the very pretty imitation laces are
appropriate for cheap silks, poplins, summer fabrics, or dresses
of light and airy material; but if the substance of the dress be
of the richest, the lace should be in keeping with it.
So, also, in respect to jewellery: no cheap or imitation jewellery
should be worn with an expensive dress. It is as foreign to good
taste as it would be for a man to dress his head and body in the
most fashionable of hats and coats, and his legs in white duck.
There is incongruity in the idea.
The same incongruity applies to a taste for which our countrymen
have often been blamed—a desire for the magnificent, A woman who
puts on diamonds, real lace, and velvets in the morning at a
summer watering-place is decidedly incongruous. Far better be
dressed in a gingham, with Hamburg embroidery, and a straw hat
with a handkerchief tied round it, now so pretty and so
fashionable. She is then ready for the ocean or for the mountain
drive, the scramble or the sail. Her boots should be strong, her
gloves long and stout. She thus adapts her attire to the occasion.
In the evening she will have an opportunity for the delicate boot
and the trailing gauze or silk, or that deft combination of all
the materials known as a “Worth Costume.”
In buying a hat a woman should stand before a long Psyche glass,
and see herself from head to foot. Often a very pretty bonnet or
hat which becomes the face is absolutely dreadful in that wavy
outline which is perceptible to those who consider the effect as a
whole. All can remember how absurd a large figure looked in the
round poke hat and the delicate Fanchon bonnet, and the same
result is brought about by the round hat. A large figure should be
topped by a Gainsborough or Rubens hat, with nodding plumes. Then
the effect is excellent and the proportions are preserved.
Nothing can be more incongruous, again, than a long, slim,
aesthetic figure with a head-gear so disproportionately large as
to suggest a Sandwich-Islander with his head-dress of mats. The
“aesthetic craze” has, however, brought in one improvement in
costume. It is the epauletted sleeve, which gives expansion to so
many figures which are, unfortunately, too narrow. All
physiologists are speculating on the growing narrowness of chest
in the Anglo-Saxon race. It is singularly apparent in America. To
remedy this, some ingenious dressmaker devised a little puff at
the top of the arm, which is most becoming. It is also well
adapted to the “cloth of gold” costume of the days of Francis I.,
which modern luxury so much affects. It is a Frond sort of
costume, this nineteenth-century dress, and can well borrow some
of the festive features of the sixteenth and seventeenth
centuries, if they be not incongruous. We, like those rich nobles
and prosperous burghers, have lighted on piping times of peace; we
have found a new India of our own; our galleons come laden with
the spoils of all countries; we are rich, and we are able to wear
velvet and brocade.
But we should be as true as they to the proprieties of dress. In
the ancient burgher days the richest citizen was not permitted to
wear velvet; he had his own picturesque collar, his dark-cloth
suit, his becoming hat. He had no idea of aping the cian, with his
long hat and feather. We are all patricians; we can wear either
the sober suit or the gay one; but do let us avoid incongruity.
A woman, in dressing herself for an evening of festivity, should
remember that, from her ear-rings to her fan, all must suggest and
convey the idea of luxury. A wooden fan is very pretty in the
morning at a watering-place, but it will not do in the evening.
None of the modern ch�telaine arrangements, however ornamental,
are appropriate for evening use. The ch�telaine meant originally
the chain on which the lady of the house wore her keys; therefore
its early association of usefulness remains: it is not luxurious
in intention, however much modern fashion may have adorned it.
Many a fashion has, it is true, risen from a low estate. The Order
of the Garter tells of a monarch’s caprice; the shoe-buckle and
the horseshoe have crept up into the highest rank of ornaments.
But as it takes three generations to make a gentleman, so does it
take several decades to give nobility to low-born ornament. We
must not try to force things.
A part of the growing and sad incongruity of modern dress appears
in the unavoidable awkwardness of a large number of bouquets. A
belle cannot leave the insignia of belledom at home, nor can she
be so unkind as to carry Mr. Smith’s flowers and ignore Mr.
Brown’s; so she appears with her arms and hands full, to the
infinite detriment of her dress and general effect. Some
arrangement might be devised whereby such trophies could be
dragged in the train of the high-priestess of fashion.
A little reading, a little attention to the study of costume (a
beautiful study, by-the-way), would soon teach a young woman to
avoid the incongruous in dress. Some people have taste as a
natural gift: they know how to dress from a consultation with
their inner selves. Others, alas! are entirely without it. The
people who make hats and coats and dresses for us are generally
without any comprehension of the history of dress. To them the hat
of the Roundhead and that of the Cavalier have the same meaning.
To all people of taste and reading, however, they are very
different, and all artists know that the costumes which retain
their hold on the world have been preferred and have endured
because of their fitness to conditions of climate and the grace
and ease with which they were worn.
CHAPTER XXI.
ETIQUETTE OF MOURNING.
There is no possibility of touching upon the subject of death and
burial, and the conditions under which funerals should be
conducted, without hurting some one’s feelings. The Duke of
Sutherland’s attempt in England to do away with the dreadful shape
which causes a shudder to all who have lost a friend—that of the
coffin—was called irreverent, because he suggested that the dead
should be buried in wicker-work baskets, with fern-leaves for
shrouds, so that the poor clay might the more easily return to
mother earth. Those who favor cremation suffer again a still more
frantic disesteem; and yet every one deplores the present gloomy
apparatus and dismal observances of our occasions of mourning.
Death is still to the most Christian and resigned heart a very
terrible fact, a shock to all who live, and its surroundings, do
what we will, are painful. “I smell the mould above the rose,”
says Hood, in his pathetic lines on his daughter’s death.
Therefore, we have a difficulty to contend with in the wearing of
black, which is of itself, to begin with, negatory of our
professed belief in the resurrection. We confess the logic of
despair when we drape ourselves in its gloomy folds. The dress
which we should wear, one would think, might
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