The Small House at Allington by Anthony Trollope (the kiss of deception read online txt) 📕

in the act of erasing Lily’s name from the railing which ran across the brook. He had been premeditating an escape home to his mother’s house in Guestwick, and thence back to London, without making any further appearance at the Manor House. But as soon as he heard Lady Julia’s step, and saw her figure close upon him, he knew that his retreat was cut off from him. So he allowed himself to be led away quietly up to the house. With Lady Julia herself he openly discussed the whole matter⁠—telling her that his hopes were over, his happiness gone, and his heart half-broken. Though he would perhaps have cared but little for her congratulations in success, he could make himself more amenable to consolation and sympathy from her than from any other inmate in the earl’s house. “I don’t know what I shall say to your brother,” he whispered to her, as they approached the side door at which she intended to enter.

“Will you let me break it to him? After that he will say a few words to you of course, but you need not be afraid of him.”

“And Mr. Dale?” said Johnny. “Everybody has heard about it. Everybody will know what a fool I have made myself.” She suggested that the earl should speak to the squire, assured him that nobody would think him at all foolish, and then left him to make his way up to his own bedroom. When there he found a letter from Cradell, which had been delivered in his absence; but the contents of that letter may best be deferred to the next chapter. They were not of a nature to give him comfort or to add to his sorrow.

About an hour before dinner there was a knock at his door, and the earl himself, when summoned, made his appearance in the room. He was dressed in his usual farming attire, having been caught by Lady Julia on his first approach to the house, and had come away direct to his young friend, after having been duly trained in what he ought to say by his kindhearted sister. I am not, however, prepared to declare that he strictly followed his sister’s teaching in all that he said upon the occasion.

“Well, my boy,” he began, “so the young lady has been perverse.”

“Yes, my lord. That is, I don’t know about being perverse. It is all over.”

“That’s as may be, Johnny. As far as I know, not half of them accept their lovers the first time of asking.”

“I shall not ask her again.”

“Oh, yes, you will. You don’t mean to say you are angry with her for refusing you.”

“Not in the least. I have no right to be angry. I am only angry with myself for being such a fool, Lord De Guest. I wish I had been dead before I came down here on this errand. Now I think of it, I know there are so many things which ought to have made me sure how it would be.”

“I don’t see that at all. You come down again⁠—let me see⁠—it’s May now. Say you come when the shooting begins in September. If we can’t get you leave of absence in any other way, we’ll make old Buffle come too. Only, by George, I believe he’d shoot us all. But never mind; we’ll manage that. You keep up your spirits till September, and then we’ll fight the battle in another way. The squire shall get up a little party for the bride, and my lady Lily must go then. You shall meet her so; and then we’ll shoot over the squire’s land. We’ll bring you together so; you see if we don’t. Lord bless me! Refused once! My belief is, that in these days a girl thinks nothing of a man till she has refused him half-a-dozen times.”

“I don’t think Lily is at all like that.”

“Look here, Johnny. I have not a word to say against Miss Lily. I like her very much, and think her one of the nicest girls I know. When she’s your wife, I’ll love her dearly, if she’ll let me. But she’s made of the same stuff as other girls, and will act in the same way. Things have gone a little astray among you, and they won’t right themselves all in a minute. She knows now what your feelings are, and she’ll go on thinking of it, till at last you’ll be in her thoughts more than that other fellow. Don’t tell me about her becoming an old maid, because at her time of life she has been so unfortunate as to come across a false-hearted man like that. It may take a little time; but if you’ll carry on and not be downhearted, you’ll find it will all come right in the end. Everybody doesn’t get all that they want in a minute. How I shall quiz you about all this when you have been two or three years married!”

“I don’t think I shall ever be able to ask her again; and I feel sure, if I do, that her answer will be the same. She told me in so many words⁠—; but never mind, I cannot repeat her words.”

“I don’t want you to repeat them; nor yet to heed them beyond their worth. Lily Dale is a very pretty girl; clever, too, I believe, and good, I’m sure; but her words are not more sacred than those of other men or women. What she has said to you now, she means, no doubt; but the minds of men and women are prone to change, especially when such changes are conducive to their own happiness.”

“At any rate I’ll never forget your kindness, Lord De Guest.”

“And there is one other thing I want to say to you, Johnny. A man should never allow himself to be cast down by anything⁠—not outwardly, to the eyes of other men.”

“But how is he to help it?”

“His pluck should prevent him. You were