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at home alone. But at that moment, I had nothing to say in protest. I wanted to keep fucking them, which was reason enough for me to leave the room and not look back, but the idea of not being with them again kept me from seeing any of the reasons why I never got serious. Kept me from thinking about my father and the ways he could hurt me— or them.

“What the hell am I doing?” I exhaled. “All right.”

Relief flooded Richard's face. “You still in, Matthew?”

“Have you taken a look at you guys? I'm in.” He laughed.

Richard and I stared at each other for another moment. What was that look? Nervousness? Excitement? Fear? I glanced at Matthew, and he grinned.

I planted a kiss upon his lips. “You're sweet and addictive.” I could not shut up.

“I agree,” Richard said.

Matthew wrinkled his nose and pouted. The expression didn't look right on him. I cupped his balls. He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped my arm. His soft moan and the twitch of his cock were enough to get my own dick back in service.

Richard had other ideas. He strolled across the room and sat on the bed. “Does tomorrow night work for you guys?”

My head hit the wall behind me, and I groaned.

Matthew rubbed a hand up and down my arm. “It'll be okay, Luke. It'll be like tonight, only we'll eat food and talk before the sex.” Matthew raised his eyebrows and bobbed his head. He bounced to the bed and sat on the edge. “I'm free tomorrow night.”

“Good. Luke?”

“Can we make it late? I've gotta look at new apartments.”

“You're not moving to get away from us are you?”

“Shut up.”

Richard huffed out a short laugh. “Late's fine by me. If you want, we can have dinner at my place. I'll cook.”

I retreated from the wall, grabbed an armchair from near the bar, and sat. “That's fine with me.”

“Me too,” Matthew said. “Might be easier than going out somewhere. You know... three guys; might look weird.”

“I don't care what we look like,” Richard said. “But for a first date, you might be right. I'll give you my address before we leave. Say nine o'clock?”

Matthew agreed.

These two were crazy. A threesome? Dating?

“Sounds fine,” I said.

Richard watched me. “I have one more thing I'd like to add.”

What now?

“If we're going to try this, I need you both to agree— no sex outside the three of us. I won't date you unless I know you're not doing someone else. That's not my thing. Also, if this does work out, I'd like to be able to fuck you bare someday, and I need to know you haven't been sleeping around.”

I never played bareback. Never. And I had no experience being faithful to anyone. Not since college. Since Tim. Could I do what Richard asked? And did I want to? I craved them, more than anyone I'd met in the last fifteen years, but could I say no to sex?

Matthew's dark hair swayed with the enthusiastic nod. For a moment, it didn't seem like his head would ever stop moving.

A throb built in my temples. My eyes blurred a bit with the pain. I stared at the floor in front of my chair. Specks of muted color seemed to dance and squirm in the light-colored carpet. Maybe they were the sperm of previous occupants, still writhing around in the hope of fulfilling their biological destiny. Gay sperm probably had no clue when they shot out of the body their fate was much less noble than creating life— yet, far more satisfactory, in my opinion. A laugh leaked out, like a balloon losing air in a slow hiss. The fictional sperm halted.

I was still laughing when I looked up. Richard's brow was furrowed, his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped before him. Matthew bit at his lip again. His face was angled down, but his eyes watched me.

Right. Serious discussion.

“You think you can just give up other men?” I asked. “No more nights at the club? No more blowjobs?”

“I've done it before,” Richard said. “And who says I'm giving up blowjobs? I'm expecting a lot of those.”

Matthew laughed.

Richard looked his way and nodded, a huge smirk on his face.

“All right,” I said. “No outside sex.”

Well, fuck. I was as surprised as they appeared to be. Maybe with the verbal agreement, I could keep my word.

Maybe.

Richard leaned back. “Good. Tomorrow night. My place. Dinner. Conversation. Nothing to stress about.” His thick cock rested on his leg. Not hard, but not soft either. “I believe we already know we go nicely together in the sack, so there won't be any surprises there.” He flashed a wicked grin.

“Uh-huh.” I stood, chucked my pants, and took a few steps toward the bed. “But I'd be willing to test that again tonight.” I'd just agreed to give up sex with anyone else. I had no qualms admitting how much I wanted them. I didn't wait for an answer.

Without another discussion point or another word, we came together. Richard's groans and Matthew's pleading words filled the room, surrounded me, and only then did I realize how much I'd missed hearing them.

The sex wasn't a heated exchange of lust. It was a slow confirmation of the arrangement we'd made— we were flying, floating, coming, and landing together as one, not three.

And that didn't scare me, not while in bed with them, no matter how intense the sex had been.

What did scare the shit out of me was what I'd be doing with them the next night.

Chapter Nine

I rang the doorbell of the townhouse.

A date. There was no way it was going to go well.

Except I wanted it to. A part of me I'd hidden for a long time had surfaced, a part that hadn't cared for the last fifteen years of my promiscuous life.

The door opened, and Matthew smiled at me. “Come on in. Richard's in the kitchen.”

“Sorry I'm late. Had a few apartments to look at.” And I had