The Crush by Ward Penelope (best book recommendations txt) 📕

My hands began to shake as I passed the spot where Farrah’s parents were murdered. I stepped on the accelerator to get through as quickly as possible. Sweat beaded on my forehead as I gripped the wheel.

When I finally made it past, my pulse slowed.

So much of everything in life was out of sight, out of mind. I’d somehow managed to compartmentalize things, even while living with Nathan and Farrah. Maybe it was easier because they didn’t live in the same house as they used to. But driving on that road had brought that terrible memory to the forefront. All the things I never wanted to remember flashed through my head: Elizabeth’s screams as her husband was shot dead. The smell of the gunfire as she was killed shortly after. The horrible aftermath as I called 911. I wouldn’t wish that experience on my worst enemy.

By the time I got back to the house, my nerves were shot. It felt like I’d run a marathon with a load of bricks on my back.

I made it inside but stayed in the kitchen, staring at the wall for a while. My mood brightened a bit when I caught the smile on Nathan’s face as he entered the house. He was wearing a dress shirt and tie, which was odd.

“What’s up?” I asked.

He spun around. “You’re looking at the newest sales associate at Billings Ford.”

I beamed. “You got it?”

“I did.”

Smacking him on the shoulder, I said, “Congratulations, man. My mother was just asking me about it, and I told her I didn’t even know if you’d called.”

“Called this morning, and they told me to come in this afternoon for an interview. Hired me on the spot.”

“Well, that’s the best damn news I’ve heard all day.”

He examined my face. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“You seemed like you were down when I first walked in.”

“Just work-related stress,” I lied. “That’s all.”

Imagine if I’d admitted everything that was bothering me today—not only the fact that I’d driven by the site where his parents were murdered, but also that I felt guilty because I came hard last night while imagining his little sister’s ass. Yeah. That probably wouldn’t go over too well.

“Let’s go grab a bite, get your mind off things,” he said. “To celebrate my new job, too. I don’t know where Farrah is, but no need to wait around.”

As much as I wanted to flee, because being around Nathan put me on edge, I forced myself to do the opposite. Nathan deserved better than a friend who wouldn’t celebrate his new job with him. Plus, it would be more time away from the house and a way to avoid a run-in with Farrah tonight.

I smiled. “You know what, man? That sounds really good. Let’s go.”

Nathan and I went to Applebee’s and enjoyed burgers and beers. We reminisced about our childhood. I even made a point to flirt back with the waitress to further deflect from what was going on in my head about Farrah. At least on the surface, it seemed like everything was normal. But inside, I still felt like I was on the brink of messing up.

• • •

When we returned to the house, Farrah was sprawled out on the couch watching television, wearing nothing but a bikini top and short shorts.

Fuck me.

Really? I manage to avoid her for days, and this is how she’s dressed the first time I see her again?

“It’d be nice if you put some freaking clothes on,” Nathan said.

I swallowed hard.

“I thought I was alone.” She sat up. “Where were you guys?”

“Applebee’s. Celebrating,” he added with a smile.

“Celebrating what?”

“I got the dealership job!”

Her tits bounced as she got up from the couch. Jesus. I forced my eyes away.

She pulled Nathan into a hug. “I’m so proud of you. That’s the best news ever. I wish I had known you were going out to celebrate. I would’ve joined.”

“Well, you weren’t home, and it was an impromptu decision,” he said.

“I’m so happy!” She patted him on the back.

“Thanks. I gotta take a piss,” Nathan said, brushing past her to walk through the kitchen to the bathroom.

It took a few seconds for me to realize I hadn’t moved, and that I was gawking again. Farrah smiled as she stood in front of me, seeming to appreciate my admiration of her body. Had I always been this obvious? In the past, I’d thought I’d only snuck looks at her, but maybe I hadn’t been so slick. Maybe she’d noticed all along.

Clearing my throat, I said, “You should put some clothes on.”

Her chest heaved. “Because you like looking at me?”

Yes. “It doesn’t matter what I like.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” she whispered.

The sound of Nathan’s footsteps approaching caused my body to jerk into motion. Walking past Farrah, I headed straight to the main bathroom. I tore my clothes off and turned on the cold water. Getting in, I let the shower rain down over me, praying it would wash away my guilt.

Chapter 9

Farrah

I’d just gotten home from work when the doorbell rang.

Peeking through the peephole, I saw Nora holding a stack of pita bread.

I opened. “Is that for me?”

“I need something to spread on it. We don’t have anything at my house. My mom needs to go shopping.”

“Come on in.”

Nora’s uncle owned a Middle Eastern bakery nearby. She told me he got up at, like, two in the morning to bake bread and often had so much of it, he’d drop a pile off on their doorstep a few times a week. She shared it with me frequently because she and her mother had a surplus in their freezer. Although, she never seemed to have anything to eat it with.

I walked over to the fridge. “What did you have in mind? Cream cheese…peanut butter?”

“What about butter?”

“That sounds good. We can warm the bread first, make it nice and toasty.”

She rubbed her belly as she took a seat at the counter. “Yum.”

“I thought your mom told you not to