The Crush by Ward Penelope (best book recommendations txt) 📕

I stopped walking and looked up at the sky. “I must be a horrible person for wanting to sneak around behind Nathan’s back.”

She sighed. “No, you’re not a bad person. You’re just a little lovesick—and a lot horny—for a man you’ve crushed on since you were a kid. Even though sneaking around with him wouldn’t be right, I’m sure the idea of getting to be with him is mind-blowing. I think the only chance you’ll have of that is if Jace loses control again. Basically, he has to be thinking solely with his dick and not his brain. He won’t decide to do it. It would just happen.”

“I don’t want Jace to have to carry around any guilt. I won’t taunt him into losing control. I just wish things were different.”

“Yeah, but they’re not. Knowing where things stand, try to figure out how to walk away. It’s not easy because he lives with you, but you need to make a conscious effort to move on.”

“And how do I do that exactly?”

“You need to meet someone else, get your mind off Jace. Remember that fictitious online-dating story you gave him? Maybe we need to get you set up and make that a reality.”

That sounded miserable, but I did need to find a way to shift my focus off the unattainable man who had been consuming my mind and heart for way too long.

After our conversation, I thanked Kellianne and continued my walk around the block.

When I got back to the house, Jace’s truck was gone.

Inside, Nathan was alone in the kitchen, preparing dinner.

“Jace left?” I asked.

He banged a metal spoon against the saucepan. “Yup.”

“Where did he go?”

“Not sure. Probably to that girl Alyssa’s house.”

Jealousy burned in my throat. “I see.”

Nathan cocked a brow. “Why? You need him for something?”

Looking down, I shook my head. “No.”

Returning to my room, I spent the next hour stewing until Nathan called me to the kitchen for some pasta that he’d made.

After dinner, I returned to my room and listened to music for the rest of the evening.

The worst part? Jace never came home that night.

Chapter 10

Jace

Since the day I lost control with Farrah, I’d spent every night at my parents’ house. It was bad enough that I couldn’t look Nathan in the eyes anymore, but it was obvious I needed to stay far away from Farrah, too. It had been two weeks, and I still didn’t have the balls to return to my bedroom at their house.

I’d made up a story that my mother needed help at home with my dad, so I’d be living with them temporarily. Meanwhile, my parents didn’t understand why I suddenly wanted to spend so much time with them. The good news was, even though my personal life was a shitshow, things at work were finally stabilizing. The bank had approved our business loan, so Muldoon would be able to pay off all of the money we owed. I’d also be able to put the twenty grand I’d given to James back in my bank account.

Dad’s health was better than ever, too. After the last scan, the doctors were pretty sure his cancer was in remission. It was only a matter of time before he’d be returning to work. Then I could decide whether I wanted to find a job here or move back to Charlotte and try to get my old one back. The latter made the most sense; it was the direction I was leaning.

“How long are you going to be gracing us with your presence before returning to Nathan’s?” my mother asked one morning over breakfast.

“I’m probably going back there tonight.”

“Well, I’m not going to complain about this extra time I had with you, even if I don’t understand it. You refused to move back in with us when you came home, so these bonus days were nice.”

My mother had made me my favorite, pancakes, every morning. I didn’t feel worthy of her spoiling. Instead, I felt like a dirty traitor. Nathan kept texting me random stuff, and it took every ounce of effort I could muster to respond with nonchalant comments. I felt guilty, not only because of what happened with Farrah, but because I still didn’t trust myself around her despite knowing the consequences.

My mother placed another hot flapjack on my plate. “Everything okay between you and Nathan?”

“Yeah. Why do you ask?” I poured lines of syrup over the pancake.

“Just thought maybe that had something to do with why you’ve been here.”

“Why does there have to be something wrong for me to want to visit my folks?”

“Because I know this isn’t your favorite place, even if you love us.” She walked back over to the stove, then turned around. “I forgot to mention that I saw Farrah.”

My ears perked up. “Oh yeah?”

“She was with a guy. Looked like she was on a date.”

I stopped chewing. “What do you mean?”

“Well, what else would she be doing sitting across from a handsome guy at Dean’s?”

Dean’s was a restaurant not far from my parents’ house, which was also close to Farrah’s job.

The syrup turned in my stomach. “When was this?”

“Yesterday.”

Pissed at myself for feeling a jolt of jealousy, I exhaled.

“You look like that upsets you,” she said.

“What?” I felt my face turning red. “No! She just...doesn’t have the best judgment sometimes.”

“How do you know that?”

Because she wants to fuck around with me, for one. I ignored her question. “What did this guy look like?”

“He was older.”

My fork fell out of my hand. “Older?”

“Maybe around your age, possibly in his early thirties.”

“Are you shitting me?”

“What’s wrong with that? Your father is ten years older than I am.”

“She’s practically a kid. There’s a huge difference between twenty-one and early thirties.”

I felt like my head was going to explode. I wanted to jump in my car and go find her. But I shook that insane thought from my mind.

“What you just said about Farrah goes against everything you’ve told me before. I thought you