Jealous Storm by Jack Stroke (book recommendations .txt) 📕

go on an adventure, Vaughan. You and me.”

“An adventure?”

“Yeah.” She intertwined her fingers in his. “Let’s sail away together.”

Vaughan stared, taking a good few seconds to answer. “Where?”

“Wherever the sea takes us. Start a brand-new life. Doesn’t that sound romantic?”

“Sure.”

“Let’s do it then. Right now.”

“Do I get a say in this?”

“Of course you do.”

His facial expression made it pretty clear he wasn’t buying it.

“What?”

“It’s an interesting idea. Just not very well thought through.”

She let go of his hands with more vigour than necessary. “You don’t want to sail away with me?”

“You want me to be honest?”

Her look made it clear being honest was probably not the wisest of choices.

“I think you would find it difficult.”

“I would or you would?”

“Both. The first few days, you would be over-the-top happy, trying to help and getting in my way. Then you would get bored and — Hey, don’t do that.”

He grabbed her arm. She pulled away but didn’t leave.

“This is the most you thing ever.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s not an insult, it’s just who you are.”

“And who am I?”

“Sometimes I wonder if you know the difference between fantasy and reality.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you know what a giant jerk you are.”

“Amber, whatever is going on, running away is —”

“I’m not running away. Excuse me for wanting an exciting adventure with my man…”

“Your man… Is that what I am?”

“Not anymore. It seems pretty clear you want to split up.”

“What are you, twelve? We’re having a sensible, rational conversation.”

He took the bag off her shoulder and placed it gently on the deck. “What about Megan and Joan?”

“What about them?”

“You’re not even going to say goodbye?”

“You want to say goodbye? Sure. Let’s go. We can say goodbye to whoever you like.”

“Amber…”

“Vaughan. You don’t understand. They don’t want me here. They have never wanted me here.”

“That’s simply not true.”

“It is true. You don’t know. You weren’t there.”

“Weren’t where?”

Amber shook her head in lieu of a response.

“What about Ben?”

This got her. “Ben… will be all right.”

“Yeah, but you don’t want to tell him what happened? To explain? You’re just going to disappear?

“I… Look… It’s not a hard question. Do you want to sail away with me or not?”

“Not.”

“Fine.” She snatched up her bag, jumping onto the pier.

“I’m happy to keep talking about it though.”

Yeah, right. Talking was about the last thing Amber was interested in.

Amber stomped away. Fine. Vaughan wouldn’t run away with her. Amber had other options to fix things. Ones that didn’t involve that jerk.

43

Eighteen years ago

“He’s beautiful, Megan.”

“You reckon? I did all right, didn’t I?”

Amber couldn’t believe how light the baby was. Light and delicate.

“What are you going to call him?”

“Ellis wants Ben.”

“Ben,” Amber repeated.

“It’s a name.”

Little Ben had no hair and splotchy red welts. Megan’s cheeks were red too, like she had run a marathon, although it was hard to imagine Megan running any place.

“How was the birth?”

“Worse than we ever imagined. Like being ripped in two. Worth it though, I guess.”

Little Ben moved his head, pursing his lips. Amber couldn’t get over how cute the little fellow was, and she hadn’t even seen his eyes yet. She had never been a baby person. At the same time, she had never seen one this young.

“How was Ellis for the birth?”

Megan let out a disapproving snort. “Disgusted. Then bored. I should have had you in here. He sucked down more of the gas than I did.”

Ben made a noise like he was trying to talk, which was ridiculous because he wasn’t even twelve hours old yet.

“Can’t believe you’ve got a kid… that’s crazy.”

“I know, right?”

Amber swayed gently from side to side.

“Where have you been, Amber?”

“What do you mean, where have I been? I saw you last week…”

“You know what I mean. Everything is different. Look, I don’t know what happened with us…”

That wasn’t true, but Amber held her tongue.

“I just… I don’t know. I…”

Amber focused on Ben, not interested in helping, until she realised Megan was crying. Megan wasn’t a crier. Amber couldn’t remember the last time she saw her friend in tears. She had to put Ben down, except she wasn’t entirely sure how. She lay him gently in his plastic hospital cot and sat awkwardly on the bed beside Megan.

“Hey, hey. It’s all right.”

“Probably just the hormones or something,” Megan said. “I don’t know.”

“Makes sense. You’ve had a big day.”

The tears kept coming. Amber pulled Megan close so her head lay on her shoulder.

“I’m scared, Amber. I’m really scared. What if I’ve made a huge mistake?”

“Look at him, Megan. He’s gorgeous. There’s no way you have made any sort of mistake.”

“But what if I can’t do all the stuff? There is so much to do to look after a kid. There’s no way I’ll remember it all.”

“You just do your best.”

“I’ll probably forget him and leave him on a bus or something.”

“When do you ever catch a bus?”

“You know what I mean. And it’s not even the baby stuff. What about when he’s at school?”

“School?”

“Yeah, and I have to bake stuff for the school fair? I can’t bake.”

Amber struggled to stifle a giggle. Megan laughed. “Shut up.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about school right at this moment.”

Shoulder wet from tears, Amber stroked Megan’s hair. “You’ll be a great mum, Megan. And Ben will be a great kid.”

“I can’t do this on my own…”

“You won’t be on your own. You’ve got Ellis. And Joan will be over so much you want to kill her.”

Megan snivelled another laugh. “So nothing new? Sorry…” She attempted to settle herself. “This is stupid.”

“It’s fine, Megan.”

“Look, I know I’ve got Ellis and Mum, but I want you.”

“You’ve got me.”

“Not really. Not anymore. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me. You’re stuck with me forever, just like with Joan.”

“I know you don’t like Ellis and whatever, but can’t we put all this behind us and move on?”

Could Amber?

“I mean… I’m never going to like him.”

“I know that. Just give him a chance. A proper chance.”

A proper chance? Hadn’t Amber given him