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Another sniffle. “I hope it doesn’t take too long.” He sighed and settled into the seat.

Fifteen minutes later, Vivian pulled into Colleen’s driveway and walked Jackson to the front door. “Now you be a good boy this week, and we’ll have some fun next Saturday.” She leaned over and gave him a hug. He hugged her back with all the strength he could muster.

“Thanks, Gram. I had a really nice day.”

Chapter Sixteen

Ellie watched from her perch. Jackson’s grandmother was dropping him off from a day with his father. Ellie wondered how it had gone. She looked at the clock. It was almost 7:00. She doubted that Jackson would come over at this late hour. Buddy had been pacing the floor all day. “He’ll visit you tomorrow,” Ellie kept reassuring her dog. He would look up at her with those big eyes, as if to say, “But I wanna play now!” He must have gone in and out a dozen times, looking for Jackson. Ellie thought it was sweet. She also thought about calling Colleen to see how she was doing, but she figured Jackson probably had a lot to tell his mother.

Ellie walked over to the console and sat down. She pulled up an Internet search engine and typed in the name Rick Barnes. There had to be hundreds of them. She then tried Richard J. Barnes. Still dozens, including Richard J. Barnes Sr., Rick’s father. She knew he would be no help.

She hoped she could figure out where he was. Not that she wanted to see him. If anything, the opposite was true. If anything, it was for her sanity.

She tried several other iterations of his name and came up short. When she glanced at the clock in the lower corner of her monitor, she realized that she had just spent the last two hours trying to locate her former boyfriend. Hasn’t he already used up enough of my time? she asked herself.

She stretched and spun around on her drafting stool. Percy was lying on the sofa. “Are you bored, sir?” she asked her cat. He yawned and stretched in response. Animals are really smart.

Ellie went downstairs to get ready for the rest of the evening. She was off duty that night. Oftentimes, she would be asked to take a late shift since many of her clients offered twenty-four-hour online help. But she had already put in almost sixty hours that week and was computer-weary, especially after wasting so much time looking for Rick.

She put the kettle on and went into her room to change into a different set of clothes. This time it was her pajamas. That was one of the advantages of being a shut-in. No one knew what you wore each day. If she wanted, she could wear the same clothes, including her pajamas, twenty-four/seven, but she wasn’t the type. In fact, she would put on a little makeup and blow-dry her hair after her morning shower. She didn’t know why she fussed even a little, but it reminded her of a semblance of normalcy. She hadn’t quite resigned herself to being like this forever. She hoped it wasn’t forever, but it was what it was for now.

Two years had been an exceedingly long time. The idea that she was entertaining the thought of inviting someone in was almost like passing a milestone, but it was still only an idea. She hadn’t made it happen yet. As her therapist would remind her, “Baby steps.”

The teakettle was whistling in the kitchen, and Percy was on the counter, expecting a snack. Ellie poured some water over two chamomile tea bags and let it steep. In the meantime, she opened the pantry and grabbed two dental treats for her cat.

“Here you go, Mr. Bossy Pants.” Buddy’s tail was pounding out a rhythm on the floor. “Oh, I suppose you want one, too?” His tail thumped harder. Ellie reached into the cookie jar and took out a Bully Stick dog bone. “Don’t eat it all at once,” she told him. “Sit,” she instructed. He obeyed. “Paw.” He held up a paw. “Now the other one.” He looked at her. “Please.” Then he lifted it. Yep, animals are very smart.

Once the tea was ready, she grabbed a book she had started and headed to the bedroom. She fluffed up the pillows and pulled down the comforter. That was another thing she did every day. Make the bed. In essence, she appeared to be a normal person, doing normal, everyday things. That was because if she allowed herself to go down a rabbit hole, she might never return. Routine was a good stabilizer.

Buddy jumped up and made himself at home at the foot of the bed. Percy strolled in and perched himself on the chaise lounge in the corner of the room. Ellie turned on her reading light and flipped to where she had left off in the book, but she found it hard to concentrate. Ever since her phone call with Kara, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Rick and their relationship before the episode, the very thing that had blocked her memory. She was told it would come back to her, but after two years, she still strained to remember. There was a gap in her memory from when it, whatever it was, had happened to when she woke up in the hospital. She couldn’t remember any details except that when she woke up, there was an IV drip in her arm and her mother and Kara were sitting in her room.

She flipped through a few more pages and decided it was futile, so she put the book down, turned off the light, and tried to sleep. It was 3:00 A.M., and she was still tossing and turning.

Buddy was snoring, and Percy had moved from the chaise to the pillow next to Ellie’s face. He peeked at her. “I could have been working and getting paid. Darn!” she said to him.

He gave her a look that said,

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