Brendan (The Doherty Mafia Book 4) by Kasey Krane (psychology books to read txt) 📕

a kid, but in a few years he would be older and then he’d ask me questions. At some point he would be curious about his father. I hadn’t thought this far ahead before but now I didn’t know what I would say to him. How much would I lie to him?

And if someday he found out he had actually spent time with his father and I’d kept it from him—would he ever forgive me?

We entered the park and Davey went running into the arms of my mother.

She looked up at me with a twinkle in her eye.

I assumed she’d have a lot of questions for me, so I braced myself.

Davey was having fun with the other kids in the sandpit, while Mom and I sat together on a bench close by.

“I bought coffees,” Mom said, handing me a cup.

I knew she could sense I was unusually quiet while I stared at Davey playing. I didn’t know how to begin the conversation. I hadn’t decided how much I wanted to say.

“You’re not going to tell me?” Mom started.

I looked at her and shrugged. “What do you want to know?”

“Well, Rosa, I don’t want to pry. But I always hoped that you would tell me if you were getting…seeing someone.”

I tried to keep my emotions in check. I wasn’t good at this. I didn’t sleep around. I hadn’t slept with anybody since Davey was born three years ago. Brendan was the last guy I slept with and ironically, four years later, he was the one who broke my dry spell.

“I’m not seeing him, Mom. He is just…we just…we were having fun.”

“Why do you say were?” she asked.

“Because I don’t know if I’m going to keep seeing him. I don’t know if it’s worth it. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do.” I snapped at her and she fell silent.

“He is so handsome, isn’t he?” It seemed like she was speaking more to herself.

“Yeah, he’s easy on the eye all right,” I mumbled.

“Oh come on, Rosa, he’s more than that. He made me blush! So tall and broad shouldered and…”

“Mom. Stop. Please!”

She turned to me with surprise.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, sweetie. I’m just saying that it wouldn’t be so bad if you were seeing him, would it?”

“Just because he’s good looking?”

“It helps, right?”

Davey turned to us then and waved. We both smiled at him and waved back.

“Mom, it’s not going to happen, all right? Brendan and I are…”

“What? He seemed eager to meet your family. Davey seems to like him. You haven’t been seeing a man for ever, it seems. So why not him?”

“Because it’s complicated, all right? It can’t be Brendan. I shouldn’t have…he shouldn’t have stayed over last night. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“But why not him?” Mom insisted.

I glared at her. It was on the tip of my tongue. I knew the gravity of what would be unleashed if I told her the truth. I couldn’t do it. I’d never said it out loud and I couldn’t say it now.

I looked at Davey again, staring at him to see if there were any similarities between him and Brendan. He was a kid, too young to tell.

But the one thing that was unmistakable were the green eyes they shared. I had never been able to forget Brendan’s striking green eyes. It was the first thing I noticed when Davey was born and he opened his eyes.

Mom followed my line of vision, she stared at Davey too.

It wasn’t going to be long before she put the pieces together.

“Rosa?” Mom’s voice quivered. I was still staring at my son and she reached for my hand, bringing it tightly to her lap. “Please look at me, sweetie.”

I had no choice. I had to face her.

“What mom?” I said. I couldn’t keep the anger and frustration from my voice. I just hoped that she knew I was frustrated with myself, not with her.

I relived memories of my past that I’d managed to keep buried for a very long time.

“Is Brendan…Davey’s father?” she asked.

She had never asked me this question about any other man before. But now, she couldn’t help herself. She had to know.

I had to give her credit for not nagging me about it for four years.

I stared into her eyes, and as much as I wanted to stay strong, I broke. Tears welled up and then rolled down my cheeks.

I couldn’t get the words out so I just nodded as I pressed my hands to my eyes to cover the tears.

“Oh, sweetie!” She reached for me, pulling me into a warm embrace.

I rested my head on her shoulder and sobbed. This wasn’t the first time I had cried over Brendan Doherty, but it was the first time I was free of my secret. I’d carried it around for so long that my shoulders felt physically lighter now.

Mom stroked my hair.

“It’s okay, Rosa. You should have told me who he was. But I’m happy you’ve told me now. Does he know? Have you told him?”

I shook my head vigorously.

“But Davey has met him. They’ve spent time together. Doesn’t he have the right to know?”

I straightened up, pulling away from her and dabbing at my cheeks.

“I don’t want him to know. If I have my way, Davey will never find out. I’m happy with the way things are for us, Mom. You, me and Davey. We’re happy right now, aren’t we?”

She looked at me sympathetically and nodded.

“Yes, Rosa, I’m happy and Davey is happy, but you…I feel like you could be happier. And maybe it’s this secret that’s been holding you back. He’s back in your life now. The father of your child. And maybe he would like to share some of the responsibilities of raising a child.”

“Brendan is not the kind of guy who would ever want to be a father. He had fun with Davey for a few hours this morning, and then he returned to his normal life. He won’t be