Here Be Dragons - 1 by Sharon Penman (best inspirational books txt) 📕

believe you'd take such a risk if you did not. But to bring him here . . . Jesus wept, Elen, what were you thinking of?"Color rose in Elen's face. "It was folly, I know," she admitted. "But I had to be alone with him, if only for a few moments, and I dared not bring him to my own chamber ..." She moved toward the bed. "I do love him, Mama," she said softly, "and he loves me."Elen had not dared to light candles, and the only illumination came fromJoanna's lantern; she stared at it, a weak, flickering flame in a sea of shadows. "What mean you to do, Elen?"Elen shrugged. "What can I do? Even if John would agree to a divorce, we have no grounds the Church would recognize. Till death us do part; was that not what the vows said, Mama?"She was back at the table, like Joanna, drawn by the light. "You remember how often you berated me for my impulsiveness, my lack o caution? Well, Rob is like me, too quick to act, heeding his heart, not his head. He'd run away with me tomorrow if I agreed."Joanna caught her breath. "Elen . . . you would not?""How could I?" Elen had begun to pace. "That would make John^a laughingstock.I could not do that to him, not when I remember Papa" She broke off abruptly;a silence fell. ^" would not hurt John if I could help it." Defiance had crept a into Elen's voice, as if she expected disbelief. "Nor would I ever

695jy hurt Papa If I ran away with Rob, Papa's alliance with John would jne apart like cobwebs And you'd be hurt, too, Mama Men would'Like mother, like daughter,' would rake up all the old gossip about u and Will de Braose We'd all be spattered with the mud, Mama, not ust Rob and John and me, but you, too, and Papa, even Davydd "She came back to the bed, sat down beside Joanna "I might be willing to nsk a^triat, might be selfish enough to put my happiness first, I'll never know ButI could never risk Rob's life John is not a vindictive man, but he is a pndeful one If I ran away with his cousin, he'd not rest until he'd avenged himself upon Rob, avenged his honor "Joanna reached over, took Elen's hand "If you love him, Elen, let him go ""I cannot," Elen said, "I cannot " And after that, there was nothing left to sayLLEWELYN raised himself up on his elbow, watching as Joanna brushed her hair"Are you sure nothing is troubling you, breila7""Very sure, Llewelyn " What would it serve to tell him7 She'd only be burdening him for naught, there was nothing he could do To forestall further questioning, she hastily slipped off her bedrobe, climbed into bed He put his arm around her shoulders, drew her close She was relieved when he seemed content only to hold her, after her scene with Elen, she was not in the mood for lovemakmg She pillowed her head against his chest, felt his hand on her hair, gently stroking"Joanna, we do need to talk "She shifted so she could see his face He sounded so grave, could he possibly have guessed about Elen and Robert de Qumcy7 "Talk about what?""On the morrow I am going to Deganwy Castle " The body he held was suddenly rigid, the muscles m her back contracted, stiffened under his hand He kissed her on the forehead "If Gruffydd can give me the assurances I must have, Imean to set him free ""Llewelyn, no1""Joanna Joanna, you must try to understand When I confined Gruffydd atDeganwy, Davydd was nineteen and untried He is now twenty and five, has fought at my side m three wars I've secured for him the recognition of the Pope, theEnglish King, my Welsh allies, and wnen I die, he shall inherit a united realm, a legacy no other Welsh nnce has been able to leave his son But I've done all I can What I ^lueath him, heand he alonewill have to hold I have every confidence that he can ""I have faith in Davydd, too But why risk civil war7"

696"Because," he said slowly, "I cannot condemn Gruffydd to a lif time shut away from the sun."And that she could understand. She reached out, touched h' cheek. Would there ever be a time when she was not torn between thos she loved? For so many years, her father and her husband. And now now her husband and her son. How could she blame Llewelyn for wanting to set his son free? But Davydd's right to the succession could be guaranteed only by Gruffydd's continuing captivity."Joanna . . . can you accept my decision?""I shall have to accept it." She lay back beside him, closed her eyes What else could she do? The last time she'd intervened on Davydd's behalf, she'd come close, Jesu, so close to destroying her marriage. Llewelyn was right; it was for Davydd to safeguard his inheritance. He was a man grown, no less ambitious than Gruffydd, and twice as clever. He would prevail. But the words rang hollow. She could not stave off a sense of dread, of coming calamity.Lady Mary be merciful, it was beginning all over again.LLEWELYN returned to Aber at dusk the following day, and Gruffydd rode by his side. Joanna had not expected Llewelyn to act so swiftly, had thought she'd have more time to prepare herself for Gruffydd's return. As people surged out into the bailey, she followed slowly, her mind echoing to the refrain of aFrench chanson, one that warned against allowing the wolf into the fold.Had so much not been at stake, she might have been able to summon up sympathy, for Gruffydd showed the rigors of long confinement. He had a pronounced pallor, the beginnings of a double chin, and hair cut so carelessly that it was obvious he'd long since become