Dreaming in Color by Cameron Dane (autobiographies to read .TXT) 📕

to sway under the verbal blow. I can't talk about Payton with you. “That's neither here nor there right now.” He moved backward until his spine hit the base of the stair railing, and he covered his retreat with bravado and a loud voice. “I don't care if I fucking called out his name while I had my cock buried in your ass unloading a wad. You still don't drive out in that”—he pointed at the closed door, to the growing storm beyond—“in order to jaw about it.”

“I didn't,” Colin said. Clearly feeling well in control, he toed off his sneakers and then his socks as he talked. “I had someone else with a bigger boat, like yours, bring me and drop me off.”

A slice of fear rippled up Marek's back and tightened his throat. “And what do you think is going to happen here…” His voice sounded breathy and a little choked to his own ears. “…to bring you all the way out here at night, in this weather?”

Colin shrugged. “Don't know for sure.” He lifted his T-shirt over his head and let it fall to the floor, leaving him only in a pair of damp jeans. He undid the snap, bringing Marek's attention to the line of his scar. Colin worked the zipper down about halfway, revealing a triangle of white underwear, and Marek swallowed convulsively. Fuck. He could see the bulge already growing behind the fabric.

“I can tell you one thing though,” Colin added. Rubbing his hand over his prick and then his stomach and chest, Colin guided Marek up to his eyes. Smoldering heat enriched the green. He licked the corner of his lip, a nervous tell, but it only made Marek's dick swell in response.

Marek rubbed his fingers over his throat and wrapped his palm around the back of his neck. “Uh-huh.” He lost his voice and tried again. “And what is that?”

Leaving his jeans spread in the front, Colin reached around and pushed his hand into the back, moaning when it disappeared all the way to his wrist. He looked at Marek, and the raw heat of sex darkened his eyes to the colors landscaping Marek's mountain. “I have a butt plug in my ass right now,” Colin said. “Keeping me right on the edge.” His confession knocked Marek's legs out and took him down to the stairs. Colin moved in closer, and put his crotch right in front of Marek's face. He stared down, holding Marek's gaze. “But I want it to be you.”

Marek looked, listened, absorbed, but he could not move, and his voice abandoned him. He could not tear his stare away from this man standing before him for the world, though, and his loneliness combined with a terrible hunger, terrifying him with his need to mate. With Colin.

Colin darted his tongue against the corner of his mouth again, and he slipped his hand out of his jeans. His focus, less sure now, didn't hold as steady as a moment ago. “I understand why you got scared and ran,” he said. His voice wasn't quite as strong, but his chin jutted with character Marek admired. “I don't blame you for getting freaked out. It was an odd coincidence, and I can't even begin to imagine how it must have thrown you for one hell of a loop. I want you, Marek, and I think you want me just as much. But if you—we—wait until you never have another thought about Payton, then this will never happen.”

Marek closed his eyes against the wash of old pain, reliving it, although he did it now in the muted shades of a watercolor rather than a slash of red or black done in thick oils.

A hand cupped his cheek, and Marek opened his eyes to find Colin kneeling before him. “I know you don't want to talk about Payton, and I'm probably crossing a line just saying his name. That only tells me you must have loved him deeply, and I suspect you haven't been with anyone since him. Because of that, I believe you will think of him sometimes in intimate situations, at least for a while. I don't know for sure, because I haven't ever been in love with anyone like that, but I'm trying to accept that you have. You have to give me a chance though, or we can't ever see if we have something special. If it will make you feel better, I'll tell you I haven't had sex in a really long time either. I'm nervous, not only because of just doing it again, but because it's with you. I've never wanted it so much, and it's also never felt so important to me before. What if I'm not—”

Marek whipped his hand out and covered Colin's mouth. “Stop.” He couldn't stand to hear another word without crumbling. “Christ, Colin.” Marek's fingers shook as he let go and wiped his upper lip. “You're here to kill me. Aren't you?” Damn it. Marek had never dealt with anyone quite like Colin before. The combination of sweetness, uncertainty, and sheer balls the man possessed took Marek over more powerfully than the strongest alcohol. He was sexier than any one man had a right to be too. “Let me see it.”

Colin's brow furrowed. “See what?”

How quickly he forgot. “Take off the rest of your clothes.” Marek tensed, steeling himself not to come on the spot. Colin was right, though. He wanted this. And in this moment, Marek did not possess the strength to walk away. “Let me see the plug in your ass.”

“Oh.” A blush stole over Colin's entire face. He could feel the burn. “Right.”

As Colin stood before Marek, his insides flooded with fear-based adrenaline, buzzing him with another layer of nervous energy as he second- and third-guessed this aggressive move. He remembered standing in front of the bathroom mirror at the bungalow, watching himself, thinking this was such a good idea as he pushed the red toy all the way