Not Pretending Anymore by Ward, Penelope (big ebook reader .TXT) 📕

After he plated two big pieces of toast for each of us, we sat down and began devouring it together.

“This is the best French toast I’ve ever had.” My eyes wandered over to the jars on the counter. I stopped chewing. “What did you do?”

I couldn’t believe I was just now noticing it, but I’d been a little distracted when I walked in. My pastel, color-coordinated M&Ms had been replaced by a mish-mash of primary rainbow colors, all mixed together in each jar. I was about to break out in hives.

“Just helping you out,” he said. “You mentioned your therapist wanted you to become accustomed to things in disarray. I thought of this idea when I walked by the bulk candy store.”

“So thoughtful of you to nearly give me a heart attack.”

As ballsy as this was, I knew he’d done it with good intentions. And I had been slacking on my exercises lately. In fact, I hadn’t challenged myself at all.

“What did you do with the other M&Ms?”

“Don’t worry. I stored them away for safe keeping. You’ll get them back when you’ve earned them.” He winked.

“Oh boy. Great.”

“Needless to say, Julia wasn’t too thrilled when I made her stop into the candy store for a five-pound bag. But I think it was because of who I was buying them for.”

The bread caught a little in my throat. “She’s still jealous of me?”

“Well, I told her you’re dating Will now. But she still seems insecure about us living together.”

My heart raced and several seconds of silence passed.

“Should she be?” I muttered.

You could’ve heard a pin drop. I regretted my question but couldn’t take it back.

His eyes bore into mine.

Flashbacks from the other night ran through my mind—my fingers grazing his hard body, the goose bumps on his skin. I remembered every second of those moments.

Instead of answering my question, he set his fork down with a hard clank. “I never had a chance to ask you about your date with Will.”

I cleared my throat. “It went really well. We had dinner and then he took me to his apartment and showed me his vinyl record collection.”

He laughed, but it held an air of insincerity. “And you had to pretend to be interested?”

I shrugged. “I…appreciated it. He has eclectic musical taste.”

Declan nodded. “Did he show you more than just his collection?”

That question was a little brazen. But I suppose I’d been a bit brazen myself tonight. I told the truth.

“No. I showed him nothing. It’s too soon.”

“Good.” He let out a breath. “I’m not sure I trust the guy. I don’t like the one-eighty he pulled just because he saw me show up at the bar. He changed his tune awfully fucking fast.”

I felt the need to come to Will’s defense. “I don’t fault him for his honesty or his jealousy. I respect his admitting that he isn’t interested in anything serious right now. He could’ve just led me on. But last night he clarified some things. He said he might be open to something serious in the future. He wants to take things slow.”

“How noble of him,” he huffed. “Fuck that. You deserve someone who’s not so wishy-washy, Molly. I mean, the guy says one thing one day and another the next? What does that tell you?”

Deep down, I’d felt those warning signals loud and clear myself. But while I appreciated Declan sticking up for me, his words struck a bitter chord.

“And Julia isn’t wishy-washy? She flirted with you for weeks while she had a boyfriend. That’s the opposite of honesty and sounds pretty wishy-washy to me.”

“I didn’t say she was perfect, either.”

“You used to think so. You made her sound like she walked on water when you first described her to me.” I rolled my eyes.

He raised his brow. “Did that bother you?”

Blood rushed to my face. “No. Why do you think that?”

“I don’t know. You seemed irritated when you said that just now—that I used to think Julia was perfect. Do my feelings for her upset you?”

“No. Get over yourself. Why would that upset me?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

Feeling defensive, I blurted, “Why would I care how you feel about someone? I don’t like you that way.”

Big. Mistake. But it was too late to take it back. My words almost immediately bit me in the ass.

“You seem to like me a fuck of a lot when you’re drunk,” he quipped.

Shit. I don’t like where this conversation is going. “We were both drunk, Declan. If I remember correctly, you were the one who suggested I show you my tattoo in return for you showing me yours.”

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then he leaned in so I could feel his breath on my face. “Funny how we were both supposedly so drunk, yet we remember our actions clearly.”

My phone rang, interrupting the tense exchange. Relief washed over me—until my heart sank.

It’s Kayla, my dad’s wife. She never called.

CHAPTER 14

Declan

“How is everything?” I jumped out of my seat in the waiting room the minute Molly walked through the double doors.

She sighed. “He’s okay. They think he passed out because he’s become anemic. It’s a common side effect of the chemotherapy. The initial bloodwork is back, but they’re going to admit him so they can run some more tests. He also has a pretty bad bump on his head from when he hit the table as he went down. So they’re treating him with concussion protocol, to be safe.”

I raked a hand through my hair. “Okay. That all sounds treatable, right?”

Molly nodded. “Yeah. The anemia is treatable. They’re starting a blood transfusion now, and he’ll go on a regimen of iron pills for a while.” She shook her head. “He just looks so fragile already. It’s only been a little over a month since his diagnosis, and a couple of weeks since I last saw him, yet I can see how fast things are progressing. He’s lost a lot of weight, his skin is sallow, and he