Dungeon Core Academy: Books 1-7 (A LitRPG Series) by Alex Oakchest (book suggestions txt) 📕

was light enough, that I have two lumps on my head and not just the one I received at Dullbright’s house.”

“So on this occasion, words aren’t mightier than a guards’ cudgel.”

“Very good. Mock the scribe. That’s sure to get us out of this! What about your essence? Conjure up an escape-monkey or something, if such a creature exists.”

“You know as well as I do, that I can’t use my essence outside of my dungeon.”

“Ah, yes. Shame I’m not here with Core Jahn.”

“Shame I’m not here with someone who doesn’t blunder into traps.”

“And you just came here for a break, did you?”

“Okay, Gull. We’re getting tense. I apologize.”

“Me too.”

“I suppose,” I said, “That I could always use my core voice to speak to the fellas in the dungeon. Get them to assemble, cross the wasteland, storm Hogsfeate, and free us. Perhaps even Reginal and Galatee would help.”

“But that’s all the way in Yondersun! I thought you could only talk across distances like that if you gave a creature part of your core self? Shavings or some such nonsense?”

“Part of my core self is always in my dungeon. But that’s beside the point. I recently slaughtered some heroes…pirates, actually…and I upgraded my powers. Never mind, it’s a long story.”

“Those are my favorite.”

“I suppose that’s the only thing left, isn’t it? I’ll contact Razensen, have him get everyone together, ask the chiefs for help, and then have my army storm the Hogsfeate walls. They’ll carve a path through town, kill all the guards and the members of the heroes’ guild who stand in their way, free us, and then leave. Of course, even if they fought their way here, the Hogsfeate townsfolk wouldn’t just watch. They’d grab whatever spades, rolling pins, and pans they could find, and they’d defend their town against the invading kobolds. And that is assuming that Morphant and his new master don’t decide to do away with me and you in the time it takes for my dungeon mates to get here…”

“You have a way of inspiring hope about the future, Beno. Do you know that? It is a gift. You should speak at schools when the children graduate.”

A door across the room opened and a figure stepped through it.

A woman spoke.

“And at least one of you should have the sense to realize that when guards put people in cells, they have a tendency to listen to what their prisoners are whispering about. Or did you think you two were put in the same cell because they were feeling nice?”

The figure stepped into the glow of the lamplight, and I saw that she was a guard. She had short hair, a pointed chin, and a deep-set stare. While most Hogsfeate guards had gone so much to pasture that even cows shook their heads at them in shame, she was well-built, and her combat leathers actually looked like they fit.

Gulliver was on his feet instantly. “Kathryn?” he said. Rushing to the cell bars, he stopped mid-stride and took on a more forced casual gait. “It’s good to see you, I suppose.”

“Ah. So this is her,” I said.

“Yes,” she said. “His girlfriend, as you two described me. You’ve gotten yourself into some bother, Gully. Winding up in here, consorting with dungeon cores. And what was all that about a mimic and Sir Dullbright?”

Gulliver approached the cell bars and shook them. “I’d call you a harlot or a strumpet,” he said, “but that’s just the tip of it! I have a lot worse I could call you, my dear. Having me beaten, locked up, and then listening in to my conversations like a spy. This was all a ruse, was it? Our relationship? Just a ruse to get…I don’t know…information of some kind from me. I suppose your husband knew about it all along. I suppose that you do this sort of thing all the time - trick poor, innocent scribes into your bed so that you can betray them. Well let me tell you, you harlot - you’ll regret it. My friend Beno has a dungeon full of kobolds that will eat the skin off your face. They’ll…uh…tear out your intestines and use them as skipping ropes.”

Kathryn crossed her arms. “Finished, Gully? That went on longer than one of your pillow talk speeches.”

“That’s the last time I mess around with a married woman. They’re just not worth the effort. I’ve seen the error of my ways.”

“I doubt it,” she said. “At any rate, I’m here to get you out.”

“What?”

“You’re lucky it was only me listening and not one of the others. You’re lucky that I’m the head of the guards, and as such, beyond reproach. And you’re lucky that I have always hated that little rat Pvat and his heroes’ guild who want to take the town guards’ jobs. Now, I don’t know what bother you’re messed up in, but we’ll deal with that later. For now, Gully, do what you have never managed to do before and close your lips. And Beno?”

“Yes.”

“Pleasure to meet you. I’ve never seen a dungeon core in the flesh. Or in the stone. I have questions. Like, do you have secret areas in your dungeon where you…never mind. This isn't the time. Come on.”

“Stinks in here!” said Klok, holding his whiskered nose as he walked.

“Hush,” said Kathryn, leading from the front and lighting the way with an oil lamp. She and Gulliver were walking almost at a crouch, and even then, their heads were brushing the ceiling. I supposed that was to be expected, given that the only way Kathryn could lead us out of here unseen was to take a disused sewer tunnel. It wasn’t built for people to stroll through.

“Shoddy workmanship, this,” I said. “As tunnels go, it’s a disgrace. Structurally unsafe, geometrically imperfect. My boys would have knocked up something