Sister Death (Acid Vanilla Series Book 4) by Matthew Hattersley (funny books to read txt) 📕

here for her to try anything. Despite his pounding heart, he couldn’t help but throw the crazy nun a sly grin, doffing an imaginary cap for good measure as he joined Acid at an enormous set of revolving doors.

“Don’t get cocky,” she snapped.

Her face was hard, her eyes intense, but as they entered the first available section and leaned against the glass-panelled door, he noticed the shadow of a smile. She’d enjoyed his little display even if she wouldn’t admit it. But the revolving door was slow-moving – thick brushes at the base of the heavy brass doorframe dragged against the carpet below. Turning, he saw Magpie – Sister Death, the killer of that sweet old couple both about his ma’s age – stalking them through the foyer. She wasn’t letting up.

“Acid,” he huffed, swallowing his words, but she’d already seen her. Finally the door transported them through to the other side of the building and they stepped out into the early evening, blinking in the final rays of the day’s sun as it made its descent behind the horizon. Before he could catch his breath, Acid was striding over to a large doorman who was standing by another set of revolving doors, arms rigid by his sides as though some sort of military guard. Danny followed her, his heart jumping into his mouth to see her gun sticking out the back of her shorts, clearly visible to anyone who might look her way. Quickening his pace, he grabbed at the back of her shirt and pulled the material over the gun as she reached the doorman.

“Buenas noches, señor,” she began, giving Danny a hard stare as he appeared next to her, her eyes saying, Keep quiet. Don’t fuck this up.

The doorman peered down at her, substantial eyebrows morphing as one to take in this woman who was slight in stature, but more ferocious and intense (and yes, damn right sexier) than any woman Danny had ever met.

“I wonder if you can help?” she went on, dispensing quickly with the Spanish but replacing it with a breezy smile and – Danny couldn’t help but notice – an accentuation of her chest. “I am a guest here at the hotel. I’m sure you recognise me.”

The doorman’s frown grew deeper, but his training kicked in before he answered. “Oh? Yes. Of course. Miss…? Erm…”

Acid giggled. “Oh you are silly. You know who I am. But I don’t know if you’re aware, I’m playing a concert here in your wonderful city as part of the festival, but I have a problem.” Now her face dropped, an air of fear washing over the light-hearted countenance of whoever she was supposed to be. “I think I have a stalker following me. At first I thought she was a fan – and you know me, happy to sign an autograph or whatever.” She smiled coquettishly. “But this weirdo got real nasty. Tried to attack me. And oh golly, here she comes. Please can you do something? My drummer here wants us to move hotels, but I told him this is the best in the city. With the best service. The best security.”

Another smile coupled with her hand on his forearm and Danny had to bite his lip lest his own face give them away, captivated as he was by the whole act. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, this woman was affecting him in ways he didn’t like. Dangerous. Very dangerous.

“Where is this person?” the doorman asked, following suit as Danny puffed his own chest out.

“Right there,” Acid squealed, pointing to where Magpie was nearly through the revolving doors. “Please stop her so we can get away. I’m so very scared. Please help me.”

Feck. Was that an eyelash flutter?

The lassie was pulling out all the stops, but Danny liked her style, and clearly this dirty old doorman did as well. With his head raised, he strode over to the doors and was in front of Magpie in a second, holding his arms out wide and blocking her path.

It was all they needed.

“Run,” Acid told him, setting off at pace.

Danny couldn’t help but give it a moment to see the outcome, the mad nun shouting animatedly at the doorman as he tried to restrain her, not doing herself any favours. He smiled to himself and then took off, following Acid around the side of the hotel.

“Where are we going?” he wheezed as he caught up with her.

She kept moving, didn’t look at him. “Not sure. As far away from the hotel as possible. Put some distance between us. Once we’re clear, you’re going to the airport. It’s not safe.”

The words hit Danny in his guts, sending a blistering sensation up into his neck. “What? No. We have to get the other egg. You said—”

“She’ll kill you if you stay.”

“Yeah, and so will Petre Kaminski if I don’t bring him both eggs.”

They got to the end of the street and took a right, moving down an alleyway that ran between two tall buildings, more hotels by the looks of it.

“Come off it, your uncle wouldn’t let that happen.”

“My uncle is an old man,” he said, grimacing through the exertion. “Not as well-known or as well-feared as you think he is. Not in the circles I move in, at least. Plus, antiques are my whole world, if lose my credibility I lose everything – and I need that money. As much as I can get.”

“Why? What’s it for?”

“I just need it, all right? I’m not going anywhere.”

Acid slowed her pace so he could catch up again. “But your uncle could help.”

“He is helping, isn’t he? That’s why you’re here.” He tried a grin but it fell short. “Listen, I know a little place a few blocks from here. It’s seedy and dark but no one knows about it. No tourists at all. Let me buy you a drink while we talk. Please, Acid. I need that money. Let me try and convince you. One drink, somewhere safe where we can lie