Amber by Heather Burnside (fb2 epub reader .txt) 📕

Candice was still only fifteen and had talked about nothing else but working in her mother’s stores for the past couple of years. But Crystal really wanted her to have an education, which could give her the opportunities she herself had missed out on when she was younger. That way Candice could make an informed decision. It was convenient for Candice to work there too as they now lived in Altrincham close to Crystal’s best friend, Ruby, and her partner.

‘I’m just having a meeting with Deanna to discuss the store and then I’ll take you to lunch.’

‘Great!’ said Candice. ‘Can we have pizza?’

‘Course we can.’ Crystal laughed. ‘But don’t expect me to be taking you out to lunch every time you’re at work. I have got two other stores to look after too, y’know.’

Candice gave a mock grimace and Crystal laughed again. ‘Right, I’ll see you in a bit,’ she added, following Deanna to the back of the shop. ‘Then you can tell me all about your morning.’

*

October 2015

While Crystal was busy at her Altrincham store, in Withington Amber had only just got out of bed after working most of the night. She went into the living room to find her mother and Nathan having a conversation, which was becoming heated.

‘Why the fuck should I pay the full whack? I’m not even here half the time,’ Nathan yelled at his mother.

‘Because you live here,’ Loretta said. ‘And don’t you dare swear at me like that!’ Nathan gave her a contemptuous glare and tutted dismissively. Amber could see that her mother’s hands were shaking. ‘It’s not my fault you spend a lot of time with your fancy girlfriend,’ Loretta continued. ‘And the bills still have to be paid whether you’re here or not.’

‘But they’re not my bloody bills, are they? It’s not my house.’

Loretta seemed to run out of steam in the face of his hostility. She grabbed her packet of cigarettes with trembling hands and lit one then took a calming pull on it. As the smoke hit her lungs, she started to cough.

But Nathan had no sympathy. ‘Look at the fuckin’ state of you!’ he complained. ‘Wrecking your health smoking that shit. And it’s no wonder there’s never any fuckin’ money in the house with all the money you spend on booze and cigs.’

When Loretta’s coughing subsided, she looked at him for a moment, seeming exasperated. Then she changed tack.

‘You are such a disappointment to me, Nathan. I worked so hard to give you a good education. And now that you’ve got a decent job you seem to have forgotten about your poor old mother.’

‘You’ve got no fuckin’ idea what the word “work” means, Mother. All you’ve ever done is spread your legs. You just use men as a meal ticket and you’re not fuckin’ using me!’

Loretta’s mouth dropped open wide in shock and Amber quickly chipped in. ‘Eh, that’s enough.’

Nathan swivelled around and turned his angry glare on her. ‘What the fuck’s it got to do with you?’

‘You’ve gone too far this time, Nathan.’

‘I haven’t even fuckin’ started yet!’

Amber could see her mother becoming distressed as she spoke in a pitiful tone. ‘I wouldn’t have to bother with men if you looked after me like a good son, Nathan.’

‘Oh, I’ve had enough of listening to this shit,’ raged Nathan, and he barged past Amber as he marched out of the room.

Loretta shouted after him, bringing Amber into the argument to garner support. ‘At least I can rely on my daughter. She always pays her way.’

But Nathan didn’t respond. Presumably, he was now too far away to hear his mother’s comment. Amber was glad because she didn’t want to be dragged into yet another of their arguments. Nathan was full of resentment towards his mother and could be nasty at times.

She sat down and flicked through a discarded newspaper, peeping over the top of it at her mother. She could see that by now Loretta’s lip was trembling and she was on the verge of tears, but she didn’t go over to comfort her, knowing that Nathan had a point. Her mother’s dependence on men for money and other gifts was all they had ever known from being children, so it was no wonder that she herself had turned to prostitution.

When Loretta could see that Amber wasn’t about to get involved, she also went out of the room leaving Amber with just her thoughts for company. Although she was used to her mother and Nathan having arguments, it was the first time Loretta had compared her favourably to him. For as far back as Amber could remember Nathan had always been the golden child who Loretta had nurtured with pride and affection.

She, on the other hand, had been expected to fulfil her mother’s idea of a woman’s role, handed down from generations of subservient women. Amber had been fed up of Nathan always being treated better than her and, in a way, it was good to hear that he had been such a let-down.

All her life Amber had sought approval from her mother and her various men friends. Now, it seemed like she had finally found it. Her lips thinned into an ironic smile. She might have finally found favour with her mother, but she’d had to go through a hell of a lot to reach this point.

27

July 1999

It was three months since Loretta’s suicide attempt, and it hadn’t taken her long to slip back into her old ways. Amy might have been only eleven years old, but she was a sensitive child who was very aware of what was happening around her. She had noticed the way her mother’s drinking had started off slowly at first then gradually increased until she was drinking nearly every night again. Sometimes she went out, usually bringing one of her men friends back with her, but other times she stayed at home getting drunk while watching TV.

Amy