Perfect on Paper by Gillian Harvey (top 20 books to read txt) 📕

she said, as she turned out of the drive. ‘I think you and I are going to become good friends.’

Clare had barely arrived in the office before Nigel poked his head around the door of her coat-cupboard. ‘Morning, Carol,’ he said. ‘Bit soggy today.’

‘It’s Clare, actually’, she replied automatically, resisting the urge to tell him that she wouldn’t know what the weather was like seeing as she DIDN’T HAVE A WINDOW.

‘Oh, really? Well, um. Good news!’ he replied, in an offhand way. ‘Anyway, I noticed you hadn’t signed up for the after-work class and I wanted to see whether you might consider coming along – it’ll be a fascinating experience.’

‘Yes, I’m sure,’ she said. ‘I, well … I’ve got a lot on as you can see.’ She gestured at the pile of files she had just started working on.

‘Ah, yes, but you see …’ Nigel said, stepping fully into the room, then checking himself and spreading his feet a little wider apart, filling the entire sum of her empty floorspace. ‘One of the principles of Hans’s philosophy is working smarter, not harder,’ he said, treating her to air quotes to emphasise that this was a saying worth committing to memory.

‘Yes, but, you know, I think I’ve got …’

‘Will’s been preparing for weeks,’ Nigel continued, trying to shuffle his feet further, then clearly thinking better of it and bringing them back together. ‘He’s … I think it would be a good show if some of our more senior colleagues demonstrated that they had something to learn too …’

‘It’s just …’ She lay down her pen and looked at Nigel. ‘Nigel, it’s not really my thing, and you know I do have rather a lot of clients.’

‘Ah,’ Nigel said, ‘but are you corporately sexy?’

‘Am I what?’

Her boss’s cheeks flushed. ‘You know,’ he said, slightly less confidently, ‘corporate sexiness, the ah … the method of appearing attractive, in a business sense.’

‘Right.’

‘I mean … ah, well, Will understands it more than I do, of course. It’s a young man’s game these days, eh! But the formula really does work, apparently.’

‘I see.’ A small part of her began to feel sorry for Nigel.

‘So you’ll come?’ he continued, having established that her corporate sexiness was clearly in need of further instruction.

‘I’ll pop in,’ she said, at last.

‘Excellent, excellent.’ He finally left the room, limping slightly, and she was left with the files which proved, if evidence were needed, that whatever corporate sexiness was, she already had it in buckets.

Her phone pinged around lunchtime and she had a quick look.

STEPH: Feeling a bit shit, actually.

CLARE: What’s up?

STEPH: Just my entire life.

CLARE: What?

STEPH: Yeah, my life sucks. Basically.

The phone rang twice before Steph answered.

‘Hi.’

‘Seriously, Steph. Are you OK?’

‘I’m OK,’ Steph’s voice sounded teary. ‘Just you know, having a moment I suppose. About my joke of a life.’

‘Oh, Steph. Don’t be silly.’

‘Is it silly though? All I do is sit at home with Wilbur – who I love, by the way.’

‘I know you do, of course you do.’

‘And clean up the house, wash the nappies, change the nappies, clear the house again, make the dinner, forget to eat my own, go to bed and it all starts again.’

‘Oh, Steph …’ Clare remembered those days of early motherhood so vividly. Where the rest of the world cooed over your baby but forgot about the struggle that comes hand in hand with tiny fingers and toes. ‘Do you want me to come over?’

‘Oh no, no … it’s not that bad. I just needed to … well, tell someone.’

‘Steph, you know, it’s totally normal to feel like this.’

‘I know, but …’

‘It sucks sometimes. It’s wonderful other times. Then they grow up a bit, and it gets a bit easier. Things sort of … well, open up a bit more.’

‘They do?’ Steph sounded just a tiny bit hopeful.

‘Yeah. And you don’t have to wait till they’re as old as my two. A couple more months and he won’t want to be in your arms all the time. And he’ll be sleeping better.’

‘God, I hope so.’

‘Honestly, I felt completely exhausted with Alfie for about eight months, then things sort of … you begin to see gaps in the clouds.’

‘Right.’

‘And you know, there’s always lovely Aunt Clare to come and babysit if you need a proper break.’

‘But you’re so busy.’

‘Never too busy.’

‘And it gets better? You promise?’ Steph sounded like a hopeful child, asking for reassurance.

‘I promise. Mind you, then they become teenagers and start cutting their nails and leaving the clippings on the bedroom carpet.’

‘They what?’

Clare told Steph about her morning, about Alfie and Katie and the disgusting mess her house was in. ‘I’ve decided, no more,’ she concluded.

‘You’re not leaving?’

‘Oh, no, not that drastic. I’m just going to stop. Stop cleaning up after them all and see how long it takes for them to notice.’

‘Oh, Clare,’ Steph laughed briefly, ‘you always manage to make me giggle.’

‘Maybe,’ Clare grinned, ‘but this is deadly serious.’

Clare hung up the phone. Poor Steph. It was easy to get wrapped up in her own gripes and forget there were other people struggling. She made a note in her diary to ring her sister tomorrow to see if she felt any better. Then felt bad for having to diarise what should be such a natural thing to do.

Five hours later, she was standing outside the conference room reading the words ‘Corporate Sexiness Seminar’. With a deep breath, she entered to find a smattering of reluctant-looking colleagues who’d also been coerced into taking part. The group included a clearly motivated Mike from IT, who’d already donned a pair of shorts in readiness, and judging by the collection of paper cups and Mars Bar wrappers around him, had been waiting in the room for quite some time. She slipped into the seat next to Ann. ‘This should be fun,’ she said quietly.

Five minutes later when they were all glancing at their watches and hoping that the meeting had been cancelled, Will entered the room.

The murmur of conversation that had built up