Perfect on Paper by Gillian Harvey (top 20 books to read txt) 📕

told her. ‘Maybe come by after?’

At the time, she’d doubted she’d manage to squeeze it in on the way home. After all, Nigel’s training meetings were renowned for going on at least an hour longer than they needed to.

But high on the euphoria of playing hooky, she and Ann had raced to the car park and driven off at top speed. And as soon as she’d put some distance between herself and a Lycra-clad staffroom, she’d dialled to tell him the good news.

Driving to the hall, she realised she was smiling. Had it been Dan’s enthusiasm that had made her feel good? His almost ridiculous gratefulness? Or was it actually that she was looking forward to seeing him? It was hard to know.

Clare pulled up outside the hall, hearing the now familiar beat bursting forth from the tiny building. Stepping inside, she watched the troupe flip and jump the final bars of the track and then clapped, her notebook tucked under her arm.

‘Hey, Clare!’ they said, almost in unison.

‘Hey, yourselves,’ she replied, grinning.

‘Is that a new rap you’ve got under your arm?’ Dan said.

‘Well,’ she said, ‘kind of. You know, for the audition.’

‘Brilliant,’ he said as she gave it to him. There was an awkward silence as he read the lines, his lips moving unconsciously as his eyes scanned the words.

After a moment’s pause, she could hardly bear it. ‘Is it OK?’ she asked.

‘You’re … well, I’m blown away,’ he said at last.

‘Seriously?’

‘Of course, seriously! Look, you’ve got to get over this.’

‘What?’

‘You know, this feeling you’re not good enough. You obviously are good enough,’ he said, looking at the paper again. ‘Wow!’

‘I don’t know …’

‘But you do though,’ he said, pulling out his mobile and putting up the footage again. ‘Or at least, Martha does.’

‘Oh.’

‘That woman,’ he said, gesturing to the flickering figure on his phone. ‘She knows she’s got what it takes.’

Clare watched again as the stranger that was really her danced and rapped on the tiny screen. Martha looked confident, full of something she never felt she had these days.

‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘I guess she does. I guess I do.’

‘And you’re good. You’re like really good.’

‘Seriously?’

‘If you don’t believe me, let me post it online. No one will recognise you,’ he said, his thumb already poised for action.

‘I dunno.’ She made a face.

‘There you go again. Look, they talk about the X factor, right? Star quality or whatever.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. And you’ve got it. When you perform, you change. Something comes out – it’s like you’re free, you know? Like something’s being released.’

‘Oh.’

‘So, I’ll put it up?’

‘OK,’ she said, only half sure. ‘As long as you don’t think …’

‘No, no one’s gonna know it’s you.’ Dan rolled his eyes.

‘What was that for?’

‘What?’

‘The face?’ She rolled her eyes back at him and he grinned.

‘Sorry, didn’t know it was that obvious. I suppose it’s that if it was me, I’d want people to see it. I’d want them to know it was me.’

Clare nodded. She understood. But it was going to take a lot more for her to come out of the rap star closet.

Dan pressed upload before she was absolutely sure she’d agreed, and then it was gone. Lost in cyberspace to be judged by the masses.

The rehearsal was a bit shaky at times – she’d barely memorised the new lyrics, so her performance was a little off base. Once or twice she’d had to stop and pull the paper from her pocket to check something. Otherwise, though, she had to admit they were getting pretty good. It had felt good, too.

Maybe Dan was right. Maybe Martha B. had been there all along.

‘Already one hundred and twenty likes,’ Dan said, waving his phone at her when they were packing up to leave.

‘You’re kidding?’

‘And mostly good comments.’

‘Wow.’

‘See, Martha B. You’re gonna hit the big time in no time.’

Chapter Twenty-One

Clare woke up, feeling the flickers of white winter sunshine on her skin, and opened her eyes. ‘What’s up with you?’ said a voice. Toby.

She squinted at him. ‘What do you mean?’

‘You’re smiling!’

She was, she realised. ‘And that’s OK, I presume?’ she said, in a mock-haughty voice.

‘Of course, m’lady,’ he said, grinning and doffing an imaginary cap. ‘It’s just nice to see you happy.’

‘Oh.’

‘Not saying you’re usually miserable or anything,’ he added hastily. ‘But … well, you know.’

She nodded. She knew.

Their eyes locked for a second. He was standing by the chest of drawers, trousers on but not buttoned, holding a T-shirt he was in the process of slipping on. His stomach was flatter than it had been for years. He was no Dan, she found herself thinking, but he was looking pretty hot. Catching her gaze, Toby dropped the T-shirt suddenly and walked over to her.

‘Don’t suppose you’d like me to help keep that smile there,’ he said, leaning towards her.

‘Oh, and how do you intend to do that?’ she grinned, holding her arms up to receive his embrace.

‘I have my little ways,’ he smiled, bringing his lips closer to hers for a kiss. He tasted of toothpaste and she was aware that having only just woken up she probably tasted slightly less than minty fresh.

‘Let me just …’ she said, trying to wriggle out of his embrace.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘Pretty sure I stink.’

‘You smell just fine to me,’ he said, kissing her again.

‘If you insist …’

Later, when she was filling in new client forms and logging phone calls on her time sheet, Clare found she was still smiling. She hadn’t realised how long it had been and had all but forgotten how nice sex with Toby actually could be. They’d lain there afterwards for a while, like a cliché in a romance film, her leaning up on his chest, his arm around her back.

She was thinking about it again when her phone pinged into life: Good news! said the text from Dan. We’re trending!

Trending?

What do you mean? she replied.

Take a look! It’s all over Twitter!

She’d got an account on Twitter but was more of an Instagram person really. As a result, she