Seven Demons by Aidan Truhen (best motivational books for students TXT) 📕

and we send their shit right up into their ass like a fucking fountain. The FOUNTAIN OF PLANETARY JUSTICE I am making shirts! SCREW YOU BOHEMIAN GROVE!”

“NO GODS NO MASTERS!”

“TINY SMALL!”

“BIG GUY!”

“TINY SMALL!”

“BRUNO!”

“CHARLIE!”

“LUCILLE!”

(Everyone looks at Lucille who just seems really pleased to be included.)

Charlie says: “Wait what is Z-Vat?”

Flavia says: “O for shit’s sake—”

Because Bruno is all over that question and he and Charlie—

—with an actual cannon pointed at them—

—they geek the fuck out.

I tell you love is strange but when you see it you know it is there and if Flavia cannot see that she is gonna be one unhappy lady.

“Z-Vat. Zuckerwattebombe!”

“Like…cotton candy bomb?”

“Like from a fairground! But not for eating! For oil well problems after Deepwater Horizon. Rapid expanding foam-fiber cement. It makes a plug. A Swiss product very effective also clean. So then the shit backs up in their pipe and into their factory and they have a crisis and the authorities come and find out what they are doing and they go to jail. Obviously our action also is illegal but they do not know it is us.”

“They don’t?”

“Of course they imagine it is us but we do not give them proof huh? And they have much to do somehow they do not find time to investigate difficult question of who takes a direct action. There is absolutely a file. It is a priority file because we are repeat offenders. But at the same time it is not time critical. There are files that are time critical even if they are a lower priority. So it is completely natural and respectable that they cannot confirm their suspicion.”

“Bruno man—oh man—this is Banjo he’s good people he’s like a rock star of art man you’re gonna love this.”

“How come I don’t know you are coming to Bern?”

“I just figured you know we didn’t—I mean I kind of left—Flavia was—”

“You want to bust my balls?”

“Bruno—”

“CHARLIE YOU BUST MY BALLS?”

“Bruno we all know where your balls have been I got no intention of touching those hirsute fucking danglers get the fuck out of here.”

“There was a time Charlie when—”

“Yes there was Bruno yes indeed there was—”

“HAH! CHARLIE!”

“BRUNO!”

“CHARLIE!”

And that right there this time is for sure a sex limpet. There are sex limpet tongues and after a while someone starts reciting that Japanese poem about parting the wet grass.

“Charlie you stay the night? I—”

The Donnerbüchse goes off into the wall. I’m not sure what it’s loaded with but it smells like hell.

Everyone looks at everyone else for a while because it just smells so terrible.

“Get the fuck out Charlie,” Flavia says. “Leave my brother alone you are bad news for him.”

And actually once someone has pulled the actual trigger on a Donnerbüchse full of whatever the fuck that was you don’t want to sleep in their house anyway.

Charlie has to promise Bruno she will come see him to discuss the Fountain of Planetary Justice, which I assume they will do naked and which I will of course not allow for operational security reasons also because Flavia is a fucking nutjob with an eco cannon. I mean we don’t have to move out we could just kill her. Then we could kill Bruno although I’m sure Charlie would not like that and we could kill all the others but then what? When people came looking for them we’d have a whole thing and we can’t just murderize the whole of Bern that is not what we came for and people would talk in the wider community they would say it was uncouth.

Not that there isn’t a kind of gothic chic in a house full of dead anarchists but they’re incidental. There’s just no need for that and who knows when you might need a chemical plant enema’d or something and then you’ll be like O shit I know someone who wait no goddamn it I had Lucille hug them to death and burned their house down damn did I not update my contacts app that is SO DANG ANNOYING.

I get this all the time actually I had a birthday reminder two weeks ago for my friend Leo that I shot.

So fine we plug into the Demon money moneys and buy a house, which is not supposed to be possible at speed, but giant jet money in shell shapes speaks a special language and accommodations are made and by the time that is done, and we move ourselves out of the Black House, Doc has found a guy who looks like me.

I ask her where she found him and she says she just scraped Tinder and fed all of it into a bunch of software and bing. I ask her what his name was and she says she does not know.

He looks a lot like me. Little bit sadder and tired maybe but I guess that will happen when you show up to your date at her rental apartment and she anesthetizes your leg under the table and cuts your femoral artery open.

Guy died without ever knowing it was happening. Didn’t even finish his funny story but Doc says she knows the punch line and it isn’t that funny.

She tells it and Charlie says it’s pretty fucking funny but not so you’d fuck someone it’s not that funny but under other circumstances not so awful that you’d kill a guy for telling it and let him bleed out into an IKEA carpet. Saul—Saul is here now and has got a kind of an eager-beaver thing going on—Saul thinks it is not funny but he acknowledges as how you could think it was funny it’s not like he thinks its evil.

Saul carries the dead guy because: eager.

It’s halfway dark when Saul carries him to a freight yard and we set him up. The yard is big and the shadows are long. The trains are just paler shadows because there’s no passengers. The lights are the old kind, orange gold, or maybe they’re modern and the company just makes them that color because it’s the