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Finally, as he is able to set aside his bitterness and anger, he begins to piece together the meaning and once again discover his faith.

So what can we make of this idea of ambiguity? How can we face a world without all the answers when we have deep questions and yearnings that we don’t understand?

Writer Peter Block suggests that we should stop looking for simple answers and start asking bigger questions. For things that really matter, you’ll find the real answer deep inside the question. It’s interesting that when the people of the New Testament asked Jesus questions, he turned right back to them with another question. Great teachers and philosophers throughout history have done the same thing.

These teachers understood the power of questions and how questions can be the key to real understanding. Life is complicated. Life is difficult. Life is not so neat. The obvious answers we’re looking for aren’t always in front of our noses.

» STOP WAITING TO FINISH.

Life is about the journey, not the destination. It sounds trite and clichéd, but its real meaning is more powerful than we can imagine. It’s written on cute motivational posters, but we ignore its real power. Stop waiting to arrive. As a young man, I spent most of my life “waiting to finish.” Driving in the car on summer vacation, I couldn’t wait to get there; in school, I couldn’t wait to get out of class; at work, I couldn’t wait to finish the project. Then one day I realized that I’ve spent most of my life waiting for something and never enjoying the process. I had missed most of life’s greatest moments in anticipation of something else.

Nothing reveals that frustration as much as watching your children grow. Our daughters are grown, and it’s amazing to realize that only yesterday they were sitting on my lap telling me what they wanted for Christmas. Kathleen and I watch home videos and wish we could go back, just for a day. They grew up so fast, and I wish I had been in the moment and relished those early days a little more.

My life is here and now. My family is here and now. My marriage is here and now. My career is here and now. The journey happens every day.

Dr. Larry Poland, founder of Mastermedia International in Hollywood, puts it this way: “Stop rowing and start sailing.” Dr. Poland describes most people as struggling against the wind, rowing, giving it their best but wearing themselves out in the process. They want to control their direction and force the boat to go a particular way.

Experienced sailors know that if they just relax a little, they can steer but let the wind do the real work. You might not go in the exact direction you prefer, and you might even wander off course a little. But knowing how to steer will still take you to the same place and allow you to enjoy the trip.

Sometimes, like a drowning man, we struggle against the very things that can save us.

Sit back, relax a little, and accept the mystery. Perhaps how you get there doesn’t matter quite so much. The writer of Ecclesiastes knew that we all end up at the same destination—dust. The only difference is how we enjoy the journey.

We can either celebrate the mystery and ambiguity of life or spend our years upset, frustrated, angry, and bitter because things don’t always go our way or finish like we wanted. Hospitals are filled with people who have allowed stress to break down their minds and bodies, and in a significant number of cases, it was stress over things that they had no control over.

I can’t change the weather, change other people’s behavior, or add a single day to my life. So I’m going to focus on things I can change and leave the rest to God.

As a believer in God I have to believe that God is in control, and for me to always demand answers is to assume his role. I’ve decided to sit back and let him be God and let me be me.

» JOLT #14

THE POWER OF GENEROSITY

Getting More Out of Life by Giving It Away

When you become detached mentally from yourself and concentrate on helping other people with their difficulties, you will be able to cope with your own more effectively. Somehow, the act of self-giving is a personal power-releasing factor.

—NORMAN VINCENT PEALE

Generosity with strings is not generosity; it is a deal.

—MARYA MANNES, WRITER AND CRITIC

Early in my career, I produced an infomercial program for a client in Hollywood. In those days, infomercials were a new type of advertising and usually featured a thirty-minute program designed to sell products such as exercise machines, kitchen tools, or makeup. An old college friend recommended me, and since it was a new style of advertising, I was eager to be part of the project.

Until I met the client.

At first he seemed quite normal. His office was average, and he was located in a nice part of town. His secretary seemed nice enough, and everything about him appeared to indicate that he was a legitimate, effective producer.

But once we started working together, it didn’t take long to see that he held on to money with a vise-like grip. I was young and idealistic, so I ignored most of the warning signs, but as the project progressed, I saw that although he talked the talk, when it came to money, keeping it for himself was an obsession.

It’s one thing to negotiate better prices, but this guy would flatly refuse to pay any price he didn’t like. He would never pay for anything in advance, and once someone delivered, he would look for any reason to refuse to pay. In fact, when the entire project was over, he shortchanged me about five thousand dollars. When I asked for the money, he had his lawyers send a letter to intimidate me into walking away.

He was so

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