How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You by Leil Lowndes (snow like ashes series TXT) 📕

to flatter. Your exalted opinion of your Quarry, well, just slipped out.

TECHNIQUE #38:

THE IMPLIED COMPLIMENT

Pave the path to your Quarry's heart by tucking implied compliments into the secondary parts of your sentences.

You can also hint at your exalted opinion of him or her by referring to your Quarry as part of some superior group.

The Bull's-Eye Booster: ' I Just Love What You Like About Yourself"

Most people praise their Quarry for something they like about him or her. But it's much more potent when you compliment your Quarry for something he or she is really proud of.

Early in your conversation, start consciously gathering booster material. Carefully craft your praise so it darts directly, dead center, into your Quarry's heart. This takes some careful listening with a psychiatrist's ear. While your Quarry is talking, watch his or her face. Be on the lookout for cheeks blushing, eyes brightening, smiles flickering. These expressions are gifts to you—gifts of revelation of what turns her on about herself. When his face becomes lively, it means he's enjoying what he is telling you. If it becomes bland while she discusses a particular accomplishment, don't bother to Page 142

compliment that one.

Recently, I was having lunch with a charming, but rather chauvinistic, business associate named Ralph.

Just that morning, Ralph had given a speech to a group of female business executives. Before the speech he feared the feminists in the group would eat him alive. As he told me the story, his eyes Page 143

began to sparkle. With great animation he related the

"man-bashing" joke he opened his speech with to win the crowd over.

Later, at the same lunch, Ralph told me another story.

This second one was truly impressive. He told me how, from humble stockroom-boy beginnings, he quickly rose to become president of his company.

During this tale, Ralph's face was bland, unmoved.

Which accomplishment do you think Ralph would most like to be praised for? Yes, even though in real-world terms the latter is far more praiseworthy, winning over his potentially unfriendly female audience was Ralph's conceit. If, by chance, you wanted to win over his chauvinistic heart, you would say, "Oh, Ralph, that was clever of you to open with that joke."

Before delivering your first overt compliment, reflect on your Quarry's self-image. Where does her vanity lie? What would he most like you to recognize him for? Does she fancy herself extremely bright?

Absolutely gorgeous? A spiritual person? Does he fancy himself a lady-killer, a shrewd judge of character? A wild, funny, rakish kinda guy? Maybe she's proud of her hilarious sense of humor, her deep sense of honesty, her creativity. Or, like Ralph, he's proud of his ability to win feminists over through clever wit. Analyze what your Quarry is most happy about in himself and then praise that.

Often an attractive woman would prefer you to praise her intelligence and insights rather than her appearance. An accomplished man, weary of hearing how bright he is, might respond more warmly to your telling him how good-looking he is. The more your praise conforms with your Quarry's ideal self-image, the more he or she will appreciate it.

Hunters and Huntresses, when praising your Quarry, also consider timing. Praise for a recent small victory carries more punch than applauding a greater, more distant, feat. Complimenting someone's new outfit is best on the day he or she bought it. In this case, Ralph liked being complimented on his man-bashing joke victory because it happened that morning, whereas his meteoric rise had taken place decades ago.

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TECHNIQUE #39:

THE BULL'S-EYE COMPLIMENT

Before you fire your first overt compliment, ask yourself, "What is this person most proud of?" Then take precise aim.

Also consider timing. You warm your Quarry's heart more by praising a new achievement over an old.

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"You Are the Most Fascinating Person I've Ever Met"

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Each time you discharge an obvious compliment, your next shot loses power. Like they were Confederate dollars, your Quarry begins to devalue conspicuous compliments. You can use empathy, make approval noises, and imply your praise early with your Quarry. But save up for the killer compliment .

What is the killer compliment? It's not, "Gee, I like your tie." A killer compliment is a knock-'em dead, on-target, outright compliment which takes your Quarry's breath away.

In my communications seminars, I trick people into killer complimenting another participant. Early in my program, I ask the participants to get to know another participant by chatting for a few minutes. Later in the program, I instruct them to close their eyes and recall one outstanding positive quality about the person they spoke with. I say, "Not anything you would necessariltyellthe other person,

but some very private positive observation about them." Perhaps their conversational partner had a wonderfully warm smile or there was a spiritual air about them. "The quality can be physical," I tell them,

"or it can concern their personality." Everybody has at least one good quality.

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Then I say, "OK, now, open your eyes, and tell them what you were thinking."

"What, tellthem?" They are in shock. "Actuallytellthe other person the private thought I was having about them?"

"Yes! Tell them." I remind them that I said to think of a compliment that they would noetcessarily tell the other person.

They give each other killer compliments, and the result is a joy to watch. After the first wave of nervous laughter sweeps the crowd, smiles and warm blushes break out all over. Friendships are forming right and left. Everybody enjoys receiving their killer compliment, and practically everybody develops warm feelings toward the person who gave it to them.

What kinds of killer compliments have they just heard? Lovely sentiments like: "You have a terrific sense of humor," "What penetrating deep brown eyes you have," "I thought you were a dancer. You move so gracefully," ''I noticed your hands. They're like a pianist's," "I sense an aesthetic quality about you,' or

"I love your teeth!"

"What Does Giving a Killer Compliment Do for Me?"

giving the killer compliment is not an