Canterbury Tales and Other Poems by Geoffrey Chaucer (best summer reads .TXT) 📕

should I bie* it on my flesh so dear? suffer for Yet had I lever wed no wife this year.” rather “Abide,” quoth she; “my tale is not begun *wait in patience Nay, thou shalt drinken of another tun Ere that I go, shall savour worse than ale.

And when that I have told thee forth my tale Of tribulation in marriage,

Of which I am expert in all mine age,

(This is to say, myself hath been the whip), Then mayest thou choose whether thou wilt sip Of *thilke tunne,* that I now shall broach. that tun

Beware of it, ere thou too nigh approach, For I shall tell examples more than ten: Whoso will not beware by other men,

By him shall other men corrected be:

These same wordes writeth Ptolemy;

Read in his Almagest, and take it there.”

“Dame, I would pray you, if your will it were,”

Saide this Pardoner, “as ye began,

Tell forth your tale, and spare for no man, And teach us younge men of your practique.”

“Gladly,” quoth she, “since that it may you like.

But that I pray to all this company,

If that I speak after my fantasy,

To take nought agrief* what I may say; *to heart For mine intent is only for to play.

 

Now, Sirs, then will I tell you forth my tale.

As ever may I drinke wine or ale

I shall say sooth; the husbands that I had Three of them were good, and two were bad The three were goode men, and rich, and old *Unnethes mighte they the statute hold they could with difficulty In which that they were bounden unto me. obey the law*

Yet wot well what I mean of this, pardie. by God As God me help, I laugh when that I think How piteously at night I made them swink, labour But, *by my fay, I told of it no store: by my faith, I held it They had me giv’n their land and their treasor, of no account*

Me needed not do longer diligence

To win their love, or do them reverence.

They loved me so well, by God above,

That I tolde no dainty of their love. cared nothing for

A wise woman will busy her ever-in-one constantly To get their love, where that she hath none.

But, since I had them wholly in my hand, And that they had me given all their land, Why should I take keep* them for to please, care But it were for my profit, or mine ease? *unless I set them so a-worke, by my fay,

That many a night they sange, wellaway!

The bacon was not fetched for them, I trow, That some men have in Essex at Dunmow.<9>

I govern’d them so well after my law,

That each of them full blissful was and fawe fain To bringe me gay thinges from the fair.

They were full glad when that I spake them fair, For, God it wot, I *chid them spiteously. rebuked them angrily*

Now hearken how I bare me properly.

 

Ye wise wives, that can understand,

Thus should ye speak, and *bear them wrong on hand, make them For half so boldely can there no man believe falsely*

Swearen and lien as a woman can.

(I say not this by wives that be wise, But if it be when they them misadvise.)* unless act unadvisedly A wise wife, if that she can her good, knows Shall beare them on hand* the cow is wood, make them believe

And take witness of her owen maid

Of their assent: but hearken how I said.

“Sir olde kaynard,<10> is this thine array?

Why is my neigheboure’s wife so gay?

She is honour’d over all where she go’th, wheresoever I sit at home, I have no thrifty cloth. good clothes*

What dost thou at my neigheboure’s house?

Is she so fair? art thou so amorous?

What rown’st* thou with our maid? benedicite, whisperest Sir olde lechour, let thy japes be. *tricks And if I have a gossip, or a friend

(Withoute guilt), thou chidest as a fiend, If that I walk or play unto his house.

Thou comest home as drunken as a mouse, And preachest on thy bench, with evil prefe: proof Thou say’st to me, it is a great mischief To wed a poore woman, for costage: expense And if that she be rich, of high parage; birth <11>

Then say’st thou, that it is a tormentry To suffer her pride and melancholy.

And if that she be fair, thou very knave, Thou say’st that every holour* will her have; *whoremonger She may no while in chastity abide,

That is assailed upon every side.

Thou say’st some folk desire us for richess, Some for our shape, and some for our fairness, And some, for she can either sing or dance, And some for gentiless and dalliance,

Some for her handes and her armes smale: Thus goes all to the devil, by thy tale; Thou say’st, men may not keep a castle wall That may be so assailed *over all.* everywhere

And if that she be foul, thou say’st that she Coveteth every man that she may see;

For as a spaniel she will on him leap, Till she may finde some man her to cheap; buy And none so grey goose goes there in the lake, (So say’st thou) that will be without a make. mate And say’st, it is a hard thing for to weld *wield, govern A thing that no man will, *his thankes, held. hold with his goodwill*

Thus say’st thou, lorel,* when thou go’st to bed, *good-for-nothing And that no wise man needeth for to wed, Nor no man that intendeth unto heaven.

With wilde thunder dint* and fiery leven* stroke **lightning Mote* thy wicked necke be to-broke. *may Thou say’st, that dropping houses, and eke smoke, And chiding wives, make men to flee

Out of their owne house; ah! ben’dicite, What aileth such an old man for to chide?

Thou say’st, we wives will our vices hide, Till we be fast,* and then we will them shew. *wedded Well may that be a proverb of a shrew. ill-tempered wretch Thou say’st, that oxen, asses, horses, hounds, They be *assayed at diverse stounds, tested at various Basons and lavers, ere that men them buy, seasons Spoones, stooles, and all such husbandry, And so be pots, and clothes, and array, raiment But folk of wives make none assay,

Till they be wedded, — olde dotard shrew! —

And then, say’st thou, we will our vices shew.

Thou say’st also, that it displeaseth me, But if * that thou wilt praise my beauty, unless And but thou pore alway upon my face, unless And call me faire dame in every place; And but thou make a feast on thilke** day unless *that That I was born, and make me fresh and gay; And but thou do to my norice* honour, *nurse <12>

And to my chamberere* within my bow’r, *chamber-maid And to my father’s folk, and mine allies; relations Thus sayest thou, old barrel full of lies.

And yet also of our prentice Jenkin,

For his crisp hair, shining as gold so fine, And for he squireth me both up and down, Yet hast thou caught a false suspicioun: I will him not, though thou wert dead to-morrow.

But tell me this, why hidest thou, *with sorrow, sorrow on thee!*

The keyes of thy chest away from me?

It is my good* as well as thine, pardie. *property What, think’st to make an idiot of our dame?

Now, by that lord that called is Saint Jame, Thou shalt not both, although that thou wert wood, furious Be master of my body, and my good, property The one thou shalt forego, maugre* thine eyen. *in spite of What helpeth it of me t’inquire and spyen?

I trow thou wouldest lock me in thy chest.

Thou shouldest say, ‘Fair wife, go where thee lest; Take your disport; I will believe no tales; I know you for a true wife, Dame Ales.’ Alice We love no man, that taketh keep* or charge *care Where that we go; we will be at our large.

Of alle men most blessed may he be,

The wise astrologer Dan* Ptolemy, *Lord That saith this proverb in his Almagest:<13>

‘Of alle men his wisdom is highest,

That recketh not who hath the world in hand.

By this proverb thou shalt well understand, Have thou enough, what thar* thee reck or care *needs, behoves How merrily that other folkes fare?

For certes, olde dotard, by your leave, Ye shall have [pleasure] <14> right enough at eve.

He is too great a niggard that will werne forbid A man to light a candle at his lantern; He shall have never the less light, pardie.

Have thou enough, thee thar* not plaine** thee need *complain Thou say’st also, if that we make us gay With clothing and with precious array, That it is peril of our chastity.

And yet, — with sorrow! — thou enforcest thee, And say’st these words in the apostle’s name: ‘In habit made with chastity and shame modesty Ye women shall apparel you,’ quoth he,<15>

‘And not in tressed hair and gay perrie, jewels As pearles, nor with gold, nor clothes rich.’

After thy text nor after thy rubrich

I will not work as muchel as a gnat.

Thou say’st also, I walk out like a cat; For whoso woulde singe the catte’s skin Then will the catte well dwell in her inn; house And if the catte’s skin be sleek and gay, She will not dwell in house half a day, But forth she will, ere any day be daw’d, To shew her skin, and go a caterwaw’d. caterwauling This is to say, if I be gay, sir shrew, I will run out, my borel* for to shew. *apparel, fine clothes Sir olde fool, what helpeth thee to spyen?

Though thou pray Argus with his hundred eyen To be my wardecorps,* as he can best body-guard In faith he shall not keep me, but me lest: unless I please*

Yet could I make his beard, so may I the. make a jest of him

 

“Thou sayest eke, that there be thinges three, *thrive Which thinges greatly trouble all this earth, And that no wighte may endure the ferth: fourth O lefe* sir shrew, may Jesus short** thy life. pleasant *shorten Yet preachest thou, and say’st, a hateful wife Y-reckon’d is for one of these mischances.

Be there *none other manner resemblances no other kind of That ye may liken your parables unto, comparison*

But if a silly wife be one of tho? those Thou likenest a woman’s love to hell;

To barren land where water may not dwell.

Thou likenest it also to wild fire;

The more it burns, the more it hath desire To consume every thing that burnt will be.

Thou sayest, right as wormes shend* a tree, *destroy Right so a wife destroyeth her husbond; This know they well that be to wives bond.”

 

Lordings, right thus, as ye have understand, *Bare I stiffly mine old husbands on hand, made them believe*

That thus they saiden in their drunkenness; And all was false, but that I took witness On Jenkin, and upon my niece also.

O Lord! the pain I did them, and the woe, ‘Full guilteless, by Godde’s sweete pine; pain For as a horse I coulde bite and whine; I coulde plain,* an’** I was in the guilt, complain *even though Or