Myth 13 - Myth Alliances by Asprin, Robert (ebook reader online free .txt) 📕

“Save us, eh?” the officer in charge queried. “Is that why you stood on the courthouse steps screaming like a fool? If you have evidence that Scamaroni is in some kind of peril why didn't you go to our government and make your case?”

“I...” I was starting to wonder that myself. I couldn't tell him that Zol Icty had told me to. I was beginning to think it had been a bad idea after all. But I couldn't make this officer think I was a bigger twit than he already did. I eyed him. “If you can ask a question like that, you've never tried to change anything by getting the government to help,” I pointed out.

It looked as though Officer Two agreed with me pri?vately, but Officer One was not amused. His voice was

even and calm, as though he was talking to a very small child. “So tell me why you caused a riot.”

“The glasses,” I began, feeling a little foolish. “They're part of a big plot.”

“So you said.”

“The people who made them want to take over your di?mension.”

The brow ridges went up again. “And you have proof of this?”

“You have to take me seriously,” I insisted. I gestured at the angry people around me. Tananda, Zol and Bunny were nowhere in sight. I hoped that they had jumped back to Wuh or Klah and weren't going through an interrogation like this somewhere out of sight. “Really. You'll lose con?trol of your own lives! I'm a magician, a great magician. I've seen it happen in another dimension. I don't want it to happen to you!”

“They had these glasses?”

“Well, no... but it's the same ten Perverts. They've conquered one world, and yours is next!”

“Uh-​huh,” the officer said, still in the same patient voice. He exchanged a look with the other officer, who tapped his chin with a forefinger. It must be the local ges?ture for “nut case.” I started to protest.

“... And I had mountains of treasure! Gold! Jewels! Silver! But I used that cheap stuff only to scratch my back,” added the female Scammie, escorted into our little circle by a third policeman, “until that imbecile destroyed my storytelling goggles, and I got yanked out of my beau?tiful dream!”

“You see?” I stated, indicating the female. “It's cloud?ing your minds.”

“So what?” the female asked, her trunk rampant with disapproval. “I was loving it!”

“But what about your productivity?” I said, beginning to feel desperate. They didn't understand. “What about your normal lives?”

“This is much more interesting than my life,” the woman told me impatiently. “I have five children. You think I can't use a little escapism?”

“The makers of these things want to control you, maybe bleed you dry,” I insisted.

“Twenty gold pieces is steep,” the woman admitted, “but it's worth it! I've wandered in beautiful places, free as a greblich!”

“No, it won't stop there,” I warned, looking about at all the hostile faces in the circle. “They'll take over your di?mension while you're not looking.”

A male Scammie poked me in the stomach. “So what? If we're happy, how bad could that be?”

The first officer put his free hand on his hip. “Have you ever even tried these things yourself?”

“No,” I admitted. “But I know what they can do ...”

“Well, here.” He plucked the goggles off one of the by?standers. The owner's eyes flew wide in alarm, but calmed down when he saw a law officer holding them. He started to put them on my face.

“No!” I protested, throwing up my hands. “They'll en?chant me!” The cop shrugged and handed them back. The owner went to put them back on. I couldn't let him be dragged back into the spell. I raised my hands and made a twisting motion. The owner cried out in alarm.

“You'll thank me later,” I tried to say, as he went for my throat. All three police officers pulled him back. He shook his fist over their shoulders.

“You ... you vandal!” he yelled, his nose-​trunk erect in outrage. “Aargh! That's the last time I help the police!”

“Look,” I said, desperately, “You don't know what they're doing to you. Today it seems like you're just enjoy?ing harmless fantasies, but before you know it you'll be their slaves. I'll reimburse everyone for their glasses Ñ wholesale cost,” I amended hastily. If I'd learned anything from Aahz, it was never pay the full price for replacement

of an item. If I had ever agreed to give anyone the retail value of an item I had broken Aahz would have rolled his eyes right around inside his head. “They're harming you. Trust me.”

The more I protested, the more faces I saw becoming thoughtful.

“Maybe he's on to something,” a narrow-​faced woman mused, tilting her head. “I never considered it more than a toy... but you never know what extra spells might be tucked in there. I've heard all kinds of things happen to people. You read about it in the news all the time.”

“Hah,” a young male sneered. “He's just jealous that he doesn't have his own goggles. Can't afford to buy one for yourself, Klahd?”

“I bet he works for a rival toymaker,” an elderly female shrilled. “He doesn't like theirs, but we should buy yours, isn't that right, stinky?”

“No, it's not like that at all!”

The first policeman held up his hands. “All right, all right, calm down. We'll get to the bottom of this. We'll have the goggles inspected to make sure they don't cause any harm to any of you. In the meantime, give