A Home Like Ours by Fiona Lowe (feel good books .txt) 📕

She pushed away the agonising thoughts. Tonight was supposed to be a break from the mess that was her marriage. When Jon had asked her why she hadn’t tackled the painting and decoration revamp at the store yet, she’d told him her new challenge was training for the marathon, hoping it would spark an argument that would end in make-up sex. She wasn’t proud of her motivation—it felt like a tawdry last-ditch attempt to shock him into action—but she was desperate.

During the early years of their marriage when they were both working full-time, renovating a heritage-listed house and learning how to live together, they’d had some rip-roaring fights. Exhilarating sex always followed. More than anything, she’d wanted him to yell and pace and gesticulate wildly. Only he hadn’t done any of those things. He’d just stared at her, his face a blank mask. It was like he’d lashed down all his emotions under a thick tarpaulin and reinforced it with a cargo net so none could escape. But the emotions were all there, quivering under the surface of the rigid stiffness of his body.

When he’d finally spoken, the words came out slowly, as if he was doing a controlled release of two at a time to prevent them spilling in a rush.

‘You think … that will … make you … happy?’

You coming back to me would make me happy. But what was the point of saying that? He’d decided their problems rested one hundred per cent with her and nothing she tried had changed his mind. Training with Zac was the only break she got from the suffocating weight of their marriage crisis.

Before she’d replied he’d added, ‘I don’t … think so.’

‘It will make me happy!’ she’d screamed at his retreating back, furiously clutching onto her own anger so she wouldn’t care she’d upset him. Hell, they couldn’t even argue with passion any more. That gutted her as much as anything. If he couldn’t be bothered to argue with her, did he even care?

She heard someone say her name and realised she’d completely tuned out of the conversation. ‘Sorry?’

‘Pay attention, Tara. We’re talking about Anna,’ Monique said brusquely. ‘How she was her own worst enemy.’

‘That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?’

‘No,’ Kelly said. ‘She was married with a kid. She shouldn’t have even noticed Vronsky.’

Beth giggled. ‘Well, I’m married but I’m not dead. When I pick up Duncan from footy training, I’ve been known to linger longer than strictly necessary.’

Tara ignored Beth. She was too busy focusing on Kelly’s comment and feeling incensed on Anna’s behalf. ‘Of course Anna noticed Vronsky. Alexei was emotionally cold, preoccupied with his job and barely aware of her except when he collected her for bed. Even then he just fell asleep.’

‘Sometimes I wish Jesse would just go to sleep.’ Dana’s eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth. ‘Oh, God. Forget I said that.’

‘No chance.’ Kelly’s eyes sparkled, bright and eager.

Tara knew it wasn’t entirely due to the vodka. Kelly’s first love might be her phone, but her second was gossip.

‘Please, can we focus on the book,’ Monique said.

‘You were the one who gave us vodka,’ Rhianna said mildly.

‘Vronsky made Anna feel alive. Don’t we all deserve that?’ Tara asked.

Kelly snorted. ‘Oh, please! She was a selfish bitch and she deserved everything she got.’

‘Nothing in life’s that simple,’ Tara said.

‘It is if you’ve got self-control.’

‘Her mistake was she didn’t try very hard to hide the affair,’ Erin said. ‘If she had, she could have kept her son. And as long as she had sex occasionally with Alexei, he would have thought the baby was his.’

Every head in the room swivelled towards the woman whose opinions usually had to be wrung out of her. Had mousey Erin just admitted to an affair? The thought exploded in Tara’s head—if Erin could hide an affair and Jon was hiding one too, then surely she could.

‘That sounds like you’re speaking from experience,’ Rhianna said.

A pink flush raced up Erin’s neck, spreading to her hairline, and her hands fluttered in her lap. ‘No! Not me. God, the guilt would kill me. I’m talking about my great-aunt. On her death bed, she confessed to a twenty-year affair. We were gobsmacked. I mean, she’d worked alongside Uncle Phil on the farm for forty years, raised six kids and been both CWA and school council president.’

‘Twenty years?’ Monique said softly, momentarily distracted from keeping control of the group.

Erin nodded. ‘She said her lover gave her things Uncle Phil couldn’t.’

Tara understood. ‘Like with Anna. The affair was about sex and feeling alive again.’

‘Not exactly. Apparently Uncle Phil was great in bed, but he was a typical farmer and a man of few words. She said her lover gave her the intellectual stimulation she craved.’

Dana poured another cocktail. ‘Has anyone had an affair?’

Tara made a note never to serve spirits when she hosted book group. But despite herself, she couldn’t help glancing at Rhianna. The woman sat as serene and unruffled as ever, giving nothing away.

‘Let’s get back to the book,’ Monique said firmly. ‘Kitty and Levin—’

‘Talking about affairs is related to the book,’ Kelly said. ‘Methinks you’ve got something to hide, Monique.’

‘Oh, for heaven’s sake! Do I look like I have time for an affair? I work full-time and I’ve got four kids if you include Hamish. Why are you giving me a hard time? It was Dana who asked the question and Beth who admitted to ogling the Boolanga Brolgas.’

Beth laughed. ‘I’m just window shopping. It never hurts to take home a bit of fantasy to spice things up with Grant.’

‘And Dana’s already admitted she’d prefer less sex not more,’ Kelly said with just a little too much enthusiasm.

‘And Tara’s on too much of a good thing with Jon to ever throw that away,’ Rhianna said.

Tara’s hand tightened around her glass. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Exactly that.’ Rhianna’s green eyes narrowed like a snake ready to strike. ‘You have a husband who