Shifters: A Samantha Reece Mystery Book 1 by Jaime Johnesee (libby ebook reader txt) 📕

be smart and end things here and now. Then my eyes strayed to the clock. I'd only been here thirty-four minutes. Jeebus, it’d felt like a couple hours. Today was going to be difficult. I took out my smartphone and started Googling sire bonds. I found a ton of information on it, but nothing verifiable.

That pretty much meant I had diddly squat.

I found out that there are many types of sire bonds in the world, but not one thing I could find had anything to do with shifters. I still wasn’t sure, or maybe I wanted to be unsure. Maybe I needed that bit of denial to make it easier not to get involved. I learned from a young age that involvement only leads to being screwed over.

Friends, lovers, family, almost all people eventually will betray and break you because that is what people do to each other. At least that had been my experience. True, there were folks like Quinn and Kelly who were exceptions to the rule, but, for the most part, people will hurt you. I believed that love is nothing more than chemical attraction. That’s why, in many cases, the idea of love evaporates once sex becomes boring.

Okay, so maybe I sound a little jaded, but this has been due to my life experiences and they've not been so fluffy and kind. I've told you a bit before about how rough I had it growing up and I honestly don't mean to use it as an excuse, but, really, we are all damaged in some way and we all learn to live with—and some learn to thrive—the damages the world inflicts on us. I learned to keep my heart safely locked away until someone earns my love and trust.

In that way I guess I'm not much different from my jaguar.

I had surrounded myself with good people for a reason. I knew who I could and could not trust and I wasn't one to give second chances. As much as I wanted to stay distant from Ben, it was too difficult to have the answers to all of my questions sitting right in front of me and not ask.

I settled back in my recliner and forced a laugh when some lady called for a Z in a phrase which was obviously “London, England.” Ben chuckled and I looked at him from the corner of my eye so that if he looked he couldn’t see me watching him. We started joking around about the contestants and the puzzles. A couple hours into the babysitting gig, and I was having so much fun that I forgot that I wasn't just hanging out with a friend.

Chapter 13

WE’D GIVEN UP THE GAMESHOWS and had switched to reruns of The Facts of Life. Tootie was awesome as always. Ben and I talked about watching these episodes when they’d first come out while we were younger. We talked about a lot of things. I learned a lot about him and the poor guy heard the phrase “I really don’t want to talk about it” a lot from me.

TV shows, movies, music, clothes, toys, cartoons, and cars I could talk until I was blue in the face, but every time Ben gave me a personal detail from his life I couldn’t reciprocate. Nobody but the box had taught me how to make macaroni and cheese.

I was five and had been alone for two days when I made it for the first time. I couldn't understand the measuring instructions so it turned out to be very buttery and not so much creamy, but don’t be upset because I have since perfected it. When he brought it up I went back to feeling uncomfortable as I had when I’d first arrived.

“I get the feeling your life hasn’t exactly been sunshine and rainbows.”

“Pardon?” I started fidgeting.

“You’ve avoided talking about your family and your childhood—aside from books, movies, TV, and music. You look like I smacked you every time I asked about your life as a kid. I’m really sorry for whatever it is you went through and if you ever need to, or just want to, talk, I hope you know I am here for you and always will be.”

“Thank you. I appreciate the offer, but I hope you understand why that can’t happen. My past is not something I will ever speak freely about. It has nothing to do with you, as such. I just don't like talking about it is all.”

I used to apologize at this point, but not anymore.

Now I don’t give a fuck if my silence offends someone. I don’t think I want to be with someone who gets upset that I don’t want to relive that pain.

Ben got points for not pushing it. He was curious about my past, but he didn’t step past the line I’d drawn. It was a good start. I just wished he would dial back the charm a bit. With as much as he laid it on, it felt almost false, or at least not one hundred percent genuine. I know he didn’t actually expect me to melt into a puddle with one of his beguiling smiles, but it seemed like something he wished I would do.

We abandoned Mrs. Garrett and the girls and turned on Godzilla vs Mothra. We had fun making snarky little comments and then we realized it was dinner time. After Ben gathered all of the delivery menus we picked one out through a fun little game.

We called for Chinese food to be delivered and sat down to talk some more. I told him as much as I felt comfortable with and he didn’t push me. Our delivery arrived and I paid for it. I began setting out the food. I’d ordered the almond boneless chicken dinner and he ordered General Tso’s chicken; we both got eggrolls and fried rice, as well as soup, egg drop for me, wonton for Ben.

Sitting there, in his living room, eating Chinese