When We Were Magic by Sarah Gailey (best books to read non fiction TXT) 📕

Marcelina says. “This keeps getting harder and more complicated, and you all know I’d rather run away, but … I don’t think this is a thing we can run away from, and either way, I can’t live the rest of my life knowing I didn’t at least try to do the right thing.”

“You’re not alone either, you know,” Paulie says with a smile. Before I can say anything, the lunch bell rings.

We all get up to head to class, but Paulie grabs my arm. “Hang on a minute,” she says, running her free hand through her hair. It’s a femme day for her, and she’s wearing her hair long and loose. It falls past her shoulders in perfect waves. She sees me looking and winks. “Maryam helped me out with it this morning,” she says. “She’s been practicing on me. I told her that I’d let her if she promised to stop feeling bad about how she can’t really help with the Josh project.” She tosses it back and forth in a goofy parody of a Baywatch babe. “I think it came out pretty great, yeah?”

Pretty great is an understatement. She looks like something out of a shampoo commercial. “It’s amazing,” I say. “She’s so incredible. Damn.” I feel myself smile, and I realize it’s the first time I’ve smiled today. I love seeing the things my friends can do. I love being impressed by them. “I didn’t know Maryam was doing hair … stuff,” I say. I glance around to see if anyone is listening to us.

“It took her like thirty seconds,” Paulie whispers. “She grew it longer, even. This morning it only came to here.” She holds her hand flat about four inches above the ends of her hair.

“Wow,” I breathe.

“Yeah,” Paulie says. She reaches out and touches my wrist with one hand. “So, I was thinking of going for a drive. Do you want to come with?”

“Uh, sure,” I say, distracted by the way her fingers are brushing mine.

“Cool,” she says. “Let’s go.”

“What, now?” She laughs and starts walking. I stand where I am, confused for a couple of seconds, before jogging to catch up with her. “What about fifth period?” I ask, like a total square.

“What, do you have a test or something?” she asks, pushing open an emergency exit door. No alarm goes off—they never do. I wish I could credit Paulie’s magic for that, but it’s really just that the school deactivated all of them because they were tired of alarms going off all day.

“No, I just have study hall,” I say, blinking in the sunlight. “But …” I trail off. But what? It’s a gorgeous day, and there’s hardly any school left, and Paulie wants to go for a drive. What am I gonna miss? A bored teacher trying to get through their grading so that they can actually have a night at home without piles of half-assed essays to mark up? A room full of seniors trying to decide if they can get away with napping?

Besides, if I leave now, I won’t have to spend study hall trying not to make eye contact with Gina. I know I should face her, but I don’t think I’m brave enough to do it just yet.

I don’t say anything else, and Paulie doesn’t wait for an end to my sentence. She walks ahead, shoulders pulled back in that perfect cheerleader posture. She moves like she knows I’ll follow.

And of course, I do.

11.

PAULIE DRIVES FAST AND BRAKES hard. I buckle in and spend most of the drive trying not to grab the dashboard. Every time she accelerates, her cheeks dimple with a held-back smile. She keeps the windows up and weaves in and out of traffic with even more precision than usual.

“Where are we going?” I ask. She said “for a drive” before, but she’s driving like someone with a destination in mind.

“Barclay Rock,” she says. I laugh.

“Are you trying to make time with me, Paulie?” I tease. She laughs too, and wiggles her eyebrows at me. God, it feels good to be laughing right now. It feels normal, and I realize I haven’t laughed like this since I killed Josh.

Barclay Rock is the premier make-out spot in town. It’s on the other side of the hill from the reservoir. When you’re up there, you can see clear to the horizon. It’s a pretty classic destination for anyone who’s hoping to get some action, but there are also some decent picnic spots if you don’t mind getting harassed by aggro squirrels with no fear of humans. Paulie slows down for the switchbacks that climb the hillside. I lean my head back against the seat and stretch my legs out, resting my feet on the dashboard.

“Are you gonna miss it?” I ask, thinking of the conversation I had with Roya at the reservoir.

“No,” she says flatly. I roll my head to the side to look at her. She’s got her I’m-fine face on—a careful kind of casual disregard that doesn’t suit her at all. I stare at her, waiting, until finally she rolls her eyes. “What is there to miss?” she asks. “It’s a small town with a lot of small people in it.”

“Do you think New York will be better?” I ask. I try not to feel the sting of “What is there to miss?” I know she doesn’t mean she won’t miss me, but it’s hard to tell that to the flinching feeling of dismissal that came in the wake of her words.

“Yes,” she says with absolute certainty. “Definitely.”

“You won’t be lonely?” I ask, completely failing to rise above the fear that she’ll forget about us. That she’ll forget about me.

She grabs my hand without looking, sliding her fingers between mine. She rubs her thumb over mine, and a wash of blue glitter passes over my arm, shining brightly before it fades. “I’ll miss you,” she says softly. “And all the girls, and the cheer squad. But I’m going to be so much