Captain Jinks, Hero by Ernest Howard Crosby (story read aloud txt) ๐
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A biting satire of late 19th-century American imperialism, Captain Jinks, Hero was written by the American pacifist Ernest Howard Crosby. Crosby, who corresponded with Leo Tolstoy and advocated Tolstoyโs pacifist ideals in the United States, lambasts the American military and its involvement in the Spanish-American War and the Boxer Rebellion through the character of Captain Jinks, a jingoistic officer who embarks on a tragicomic quest to become a โperfect soldier.โ The novel also satirizes the role of industrial and media interests in promoting war through the character of Jinksโs friend and companion Cleary, a yellow journalist who feeds sensational stories back to the home front at the behest of editors and monopolists.
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- Author: Ernest Howard Crosby
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Affairs had reached this position when orders came to Havilla for Colonel Jinks to proceed to join the army in Porsslania, where he would be placed in command of a regiment. His fidus Achates, Cleary, had also received permission from his journal to accompany him, and the two set sail on a transport which carried details of troops. It is true that these troops could ill be spared from the Cubapines, as the country was still in the hands of the natives with the exception of here and there a strip of the seacoast, and there was much illness among the troops, many being down with fever and worse diseases. But it was necessary for the Government to make as good a showing in Porsslania as the other Powers, and the reinforcements had to go.
It was on a hot summer day that Sam and Cleary looked over the rail of the transport as they watched the troops come on board. It was a remarkable scene, for a crowd of native women were on the shore, weeping and arguing with the men and preventing them from getting into the boats.
โWho on earth are they?โ asked Sam.
โItโs a pretty mean practical joke,โ said Cleary. โThat regiment has been up in the interior, and theyโve all had wives up there. They buy them for five dollars apiece. And the Governor of the province there, a friendly native, has sent more than a hundred of the women down here, to get rid of them, I suppose, and now the poor things want to come along with their young men. Some of them have got babies, do you see?โ
After a long and noisy delay the captain of the transport, assisted by the officers of the regiment in question, persuaded the women to stay behind, giving a few coppers to each and making the most reckless and unabashed promises of return. The steamer then weighed anchor and was soon passing the sunken Castalian fleet.
โThe Court at Whoppington has just allowed prize-money to the officers and men for sinking those ships,โ said Cleary. โThey didnโt get as much as they wanted, but itโs a good round sum.โ
โIโm glad they will get some remuneration for their hard work,โ said Sam.
โDo you see that native sloop over there?โ said Cleary. โSheโs a pirate boat we caught down in the archipelago. She had sunk a merchant vessel loaded with opium or something of the kind, very valuable. Theyโd got her in shallow water and had killed some of the crew, and the rest swam ashore, and they were dividing up the swag when they were caught. They would have had I donโt know how many dollars apiece. They were all hanged.โ
โServes them right,โ said Sam. โWe must put down piracy. Goodbye, Havilla,โ he added, waving his hat toward the capital. โIt makes me feel happy to think that I have actually ended the war by capturing Gomaldo.โ
โNot much!โ cried Cleary. โDidnโt you hear the news this morning? The Cubapinos are twice as active as ever. Theyโre rising everywhere.โ
Not many days later, and after an uneventful voyage, the transport sailed into the mouth of the Hai-Po River and came to anchor off the ruins of the Porsslanese forts. Colonel Jinks had orders to proceed at once to Gin-Sin, and he left with Cleary on a river steamer. They were much struck by the utter desolation of the country. There were no signs of life, but here and there the smoking ruins of a town showed where human beings had been. They noticed something floating in the water with a swarm of flies hovering over it.
โGood heavens! itโs a corpse,โ said Cleary. โItโs a native. Thatโs a handsome silk jacket, and it doesnโt look like a soldierโs either. Look at that vulture. Itโs sweeping down on it.โ
The vulture circled round in the air, coming close to the body, but did not touch it.
โIt has had enough to eat already,โ said an Anglian passenger who was standing near them. โDid you ever see such a fat bird? Youโll see plenty of bodies before long. Do you observe those vultures ahead there? Youโll find floating bodies wherever they are.โ
โI suppose they are the bodies of soldiers,โ said Sam.
โNo, indeed, not all of them by any means. These Porsslanese must be stamped out like vipers. Iโm thankful to say most of the armies are doing their duty. They donโt give any quarter to native soldiers, and they despatch the wounded too. Thatโs the only way to treat them, and they donโt feel pain the way
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