Sunken Graves by Alan Lee (thriller book recommendations .txt) 📕

“You wondered if I would see Lynch as a broken man instead of an evil one. But you said not to worry about it yet because that turns young men into old men.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what I said, Daniel. It’s true but I wish I’d worded it differently. It’s not that worrying has aged me. It’s that, every time I turned a blind eye, I died a little. My pathetic inaction. You three are still young but you’re already faced with it. If you keep teaching, you’ll have students commit suicide. Or they’ll kill someone else. They’ll come to class high or bring weapons. They’ll arrive with bruises and scars and hollow eyes. And you’ll tell yourself you can’t save them all. And you truly can’t but that realization, if you allow it, builds callouses. You become numb. And when you go numb, you atrophy. And once you’re atrophying you’re dying, like me.” He walked to the far side of the little room and he breathed deeply. Voice wobbled. “Evil is real. It’s around us and inside us. When we ignore it, the evil takes root. And then you have what you see before you.” He indicated himself. “An exhausted and lonely man who played it safe his whole life and wishes he could do it over again.”

“What would you do differently?” Hathaway, spellbound, felt like she was speaking to her future self.

“I’d fight. I’d push against the evil. Maybe I’d look even older now, but I wouldn’t be haunted by my cowardice. The final straw was little Ronald Bell. Thirty years ago. His father had visitation rights on the weekends and Ronald would return with black eyes and busted lips. His teachers, we stepped in and involved social services. His father lost his rights, so he kidnapped little Ronald, drove to Georgia and set them both on fire. I haven’t fought since. I haven’t believed in God since. But I replaced him with something worse. Me. And it turns out I’m not worthy.”

“You getting too deep for a football coach to follow, Lewis,” said Murray.

Lewis wiped his eyes and shot a smile.

“Here’s what I’m saying. Evil’s real. Don’t back down from it. Don’t ignore it. You are significant…but your significance is diminished when you do. If you hide your face and pretend there’s no transcendence then you consign yourself to be mere bones and dust.”

“I feel that.” Hathaway pushed her hair back and lowered her face. “I feel that in every part of me, the callouses and the growing atrophy. I’m…I’m settling.”

Jennings said, “Life is harder than we were promised.”

“I’m mad. I’m so mad.” Hathaway spoke into her knees.

“At Lynch?” said Murray.

“At Lynch. At myself. At life. At God.”

“I don’t believe in God.” Another sad smile from Lewis. “But I miss him.”

“Don’t believe in God?” Murray shook his head. “No wonder you’re depressed.”

“Who are you quoting, Craig?” said Jennings.

“I don’t remember. But it sums up my life quite well. Clearly, somewhere deep down, I must believe in good and evil and God and transcendence, and my stubborn pride has brought only ruin. So now, as we face Lynch and the enormous obstacles before us, both inside and out, it’s important to remember our fight isn’t just a physical one. It’s a fight against Lynch, but also a fight for ourselves.”

“I have a plan.” Hathaway raised up. Glanced at herself in the mirror to check her mascara wasn’t running.

Jennings had been waiting to hear the plan.

“A plan to do what?” said Murray.

“Two nights ago I was crying in bed and planning to run away. Abandon my job, my relationships, abandon it all. That was before I knew how powerful Lynch was, so now running away sounds even more appealing. I can’t, though, because that would be settling and compromising again. So I came up with something else, and I want to tell you about it. We can catch Lynch.”

“Catch him how?” said Jennings.

“I’ll go on a date with him.”

“No.”

“Hell no,” said Murray.

“He and I will go out to dinner and I’ll get him to confess. My phone will record it.”

“Absolutely not,” said Jennings.

“I won’t go alone. You boys will be waiting outside. You can follow us. If all else fails, he might try something in the car afterward and we can charge him with sexual assault. Maybe he can buy the others off, but not me.”

“You can’t get raped to catch Lynch, Daisy.” Jennings had the disorienting sensation that he’d swapped places with Mackenzie August, the private detective urging him to be careful, to not die chasing Lynch.

“You’d be there too, Daniel, ready to break his car windows. I know you’d never let him get far. I’ll take a can of mace, just to be safe.”

“You pressure him into confessing, he’ll know it’s a trap,” said Murray.

“Men are idiots, in my experience, when they think there’s a chance for sex.”

Jennings’ heart thumped extra firm into his ribs, and he hoped he wasn’t one of the idiots Daisy meant.

“So, what, you’d just call and ask the dude out?” said Murray.

“He already asked me. To drinks, to discuss the upcoming holiday banquet. I would simply accept.”

“I don’t know. It’s a hell of a risk. Lewis, what do you think?”

“About her plan? I admire her bravery. It sounds to me like she slept on it a few days and she’s still willing.”

“No,” said Jennings.

“I am willing. Think about what’s at stake. We know he’s a sexual predator and he’s after me. We know he’s going to fire you, Coach, and maybe hurt Daniel again. And it’s not like he’s going to stop with us. If you three will go and sit in your cars outside and be ready, I want to do it tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow?”

“I’ll bring my pistol,” said Lewis.

“No,” said Jennings.

“Oh Jesus help us.”

“I’ll shoot him. I will,” said Lewis. “I told Daniel I wished someone would kill Lynch. Why not me? I’ve thought about it recently and I would. I’m twenty years late doing what’s right.