I Love You More Than I'm Afraid (Our Forevers #2) by Rebel Hart (the first e reader .txt) 📕

ever extended everything in her being to take care of me. She loved me without barriers and helped me through all of the bullshit in my life. Not since Hannah had I opened myself up so much to someone, and even Hannah left me eventually. It was wrong for me to place that burden on Aria’s shoulders.

I bolted forward and wrapped my arms around Aria and held her in place. “Let me go.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, dropping my head against her shoulder. Tears were filling my eyes even though I swore myself I wouldn’t cry about this shit anymore. “You’re right. You’re a hundred percent right. I let you down. It was wrong of me to compare you to Hannah. You’re obviously not her.” Aria was so angry she was shaking in my hold, but I didn’t let her go. “Please. I’m sorry, just don’t give up on me. Everyone leaves… please…” I started crying against her back, hating myself for looking so weak, but I was about to ruin a good thing in my life.

Again.

“Arden, let me go.” Aria’s voice was calmer, albeit still tense.

“I don’t wanna,” I whined.

“I’m not gonna leave. Let me go so I can face you.” Sniffling in, I released Aria and she turned around to look at me. Her eyes were red too, and it was the first time I saw that Aria was an angry crier. “Don’t disrespect me like that again.”

I nodded vigorously. “I won’t.”

“Next to my mom, you are the person I love most in my life. You’re my best friend. I grappled with whether or not to even give you the Y.I.I.P. stuff because I know you’re gonna get it and I know that means you’ll be moving to New York. You’re gonna love it there and you won’t come back here. But that’s okay, because I want you to be happy, and healthy, and safe. I don’t think Hannah’s a bad person. I think she’s confused, but not bad, but either way, I am not her. I would never hurt you the way she did and I do not appreciate the insinuation that I would.”

“You obviously wouldn’t,” I said. “That was so unfair of me, I was just angry, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry for interfering in your life to the degree that I did, but I felt backed against a wall. Honestly when I did it I was praying it would never come up because you’d never go back there like you promised you wouldn’t.” Aria looked so disappointed in me that I couldn’t meet her gaze. “But I won’t overstep like that anymore.”

“No, please, overstep. I clearly can’t be trusted with my own life, you said so yourself.” I dropped my head low. “I got so upset because I’m so used to everyone around me forcing me in one direction or another without my consent, but you… You were just trying to keep me on the path that I already chose. You’re my little guardian angel.” She punched me in the arm. “Ow!”

“Stop making your guardian angel cry, you dick!”

I laughed at her and she cracked a smile. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Arden, The Undersound isn’t good for you. It’s a vice that you’ve sought out when you’re sad, upset, or frustrated. Even if you go there with the best of intentions, exposing yourself to things that help you run away from your problems will eventually lead you to indulging in those things. I don’t know how I feel about Suli, but I know she’s allowed you to regularly engage in things that are unhealthy for you. In fact, she’s openly encouraged them. I know that she’s this comfort for you while you try and get over Hannah, but anything that just helps you avoid your problems instead of facing them, isn’t good, at least not unless you’re also dealing with those problems.”

“I really just have the one problem,” I replied.

“Yeah,” Aria said. “From what I hear, that’s a bit of a mutual problem right now.”

“Where’d you hear that?” I asked.

“Tristan. He won’t tell me the details because he doesn’t wanna betray Hannah’s trust but… you two are causing major self-destruction in one another’s lives right now.” She lifted her hands and put them on my arms. “I need you to be honest with me right now, are you going to go back to The Undersound?”

“No,” I shook my head. “I promise. I’m done with that place.”

“Don’t promise me if you’re just lying. My dad used to do that all the time, it kills me. If you can’t keep the promise, don’t make it.”

“Aria, I promise you, I will not go back there,” I said. “My ID’s gone anyway. I could only get in on days when Suli opens, I mean she usually opens but…” I noticed the look of irritation on Aria’s face and stopped. “It doesn’t matter because I’m not going back.”

“Good. Have you eaten?”

I lowered my head again in shame. “No.”

She threw her head back. “Ugh! Fine, come to my house. I’m meeting Tristan there. I’ll make you some food.”

“I don’t wanna interfere.”

“Oh you aren’t,” she said. “Hopefully you can eat while hearing strange noises.”

I scrunched up my nose in disgust at first, but then joked, “Hot.”

She just shook her head. “Come on.” She turned around to head to her car, muttering under her breath, “Stupid ass brat. Stressing me out right after work.”

“Aria!” I called out and she looked back over her shoulder. “I don’t deserve you.”

“No,” she said. “You don’t.”

14

Hannah

By the beginning of May, it was officially senior spring around school. Most teachers offered their class periods for studying for state finals or ACT prep, while a select few awful teachers insisted upon leading their courses right up to the very last day of school. When seniors weren’t in those classes, they could pretty much be seen wandering about school, heading to guidance counselor meetings, specialized study halls, or just into one of the designated areas to relax and work on anything that