Japanese Girls and Women by Alice Mabel Bacon (best e reader for epub .txt) 📕

For this visit the bride wears for the first time a dress made for her by her husband's family and bearing its crest, as a sign that she is now a member of that family and only a guest in her father's house.

Since the adoption of the new code, the conditions of marriage and of divorce have been altered for the better. At present no divorce is possible except through the courts or through mutual consent; the simple change of registration by one party or the other does not constitute a legal divorce. Even a divorce by mutual consent cannot be arranged without the consent of the parents or head of the family of a married person who is under twenty-five years of age. The grounds upon which judicial divorce may be granted seem very trivial measured by European standards, but, on the other hand, they are a distinct gain over the former practice. The wife is no longer dependent for her position simply upon the whim of her husband, but, unless he can secure her consent to the separation, he must formulate charges of immorality or conviction of crime, or of cruel treatment or grave insult on the part of the wife or of her relatives, or of desertion, or of disappearance for a period of three years or more. Only when some such charge has been made and proved before a court can a husband send away his wife. In the case of a separation by mutual consent, though the law still gives the care of the children to the father in case no previous agreement has been made, if a woman sees her way clear to supporting them, she may stipulate for the custody of one or more of them as a condition of her consent to the divorce. In a judicial divorce, the judge may, in the interests of the children, take them away from their father and assign them to the care of some other person.

In these changes we can see a distinct advance toward permanence of the family tie; and we can see, too, that the wife has gained a new power to hold her own against injustice and wrong. That when the people have become used to these changes, other and more binding laws will be enacted, we can feel pretty sure, for the drift of enlightened public opinion seems to be in favor of securing better and more firmly established homes just as fast as "the hardness of their hearts" will permit.

It is difficult for us in America, who live under customs and laws in which the individual is the social unit and the family a union of individuals, to understand a system of society in which the individual is little or nothing and the family the social unit recognized both by law and custom. In Japan, a man is simply a member of some family, and his daily affairs, his marrying and giving in marriage, are more or less under the control of the head of his family, or of the family council. Only in case he is the head of the family is he able to marry without securing some one's consent, and then his responsibilities in regard to the headship may in themselves hamper him. If this is the case with the more independent man, it may be imagined how completely the woman is submerged under family influence. She may, under exceptional circumstances, become the head of a family, but this is usually only a temporary expedient, and even then she must subordinate herself more completely to the family and its interests than when she occupies a lowlier place.

The headship of an unmarried woman lasts only until a husband has been selected for her, and the headship of a widow lasts during her guardianship of the rightful heir to the position. By Japanese law a widow is always the guardian of her minor children.

The only way in which individuality before the law can be obtained by man or woman in Japan is through cutting the tie that binds to the family, and starting out in life afresh as the head of a new family. This new family must always be héimin, or plebeian, no matter how high in rank may have been the family from which the founder has gone out, but there is a continually increasing number of young men and women who prefer the freedom that comes from the headship of a small and new family, even if of low rank, to the state of tutelage or of hampering responsibility which must accompany connection with a larger and older social group. It seems likely that through this means an evolution from the family to the individual system will be effected, as the nation grows more and more modernized in its way of looking at things.

For the Japanese woman, as I have already said, marriage is in most cases the entrance into a new family. She is cut off from the old ways and interests, in which she has until now had her part, and she has begun life anew as the latest addition to and therefore the lowest and most ignorant member of another social group. It is her duty simply to learn the ways and obey the will of those above her, and it is the duty of those above her, and especially of her husband's mother, to fit her by training and discipline for her new surroundings. The physical strength of the young wife, her sweetness of temper, her manners, her morals, her way of looking at life, are all put to the test by this sharp-eyed guardian of the family interests, and woe to the younger woman if she fail to come up to the standard set. She may be a good woman and a faithful wife, but if, under the training given her, she does not adapt herself readily to the traditions and customs of the family she enters, it is more than likely, even under the new laws, that she may be sent back to her father's house as persona non grata, and even her husband's love cannot save her. It is because of this predominance of the family over the individual that the young wife, when she enters her husband's home, is not, as in our own country, entering upon a new life as mistress of a house, with absolute control over all of her little domain.

At the time of the celebration of his silver wedding, in 1895, the Emperor came into the Audience Room with the Empress on his arm, an example which was followed by the Imperial Princes.

With the engagement and marriage of the Crown Prince, in May, 1900, an entirely new precedent was established in the relations of the Imperial couple. The Western idea of marriage between equals has never existed in the Japanese mind in its thought of the union between their Emperor and Empress. The Empress, though of noble family, was chosen from among the subjects of the Emperor, and the marriage was of the nature of an appointment by the Emperor to the position of Imperial Consort, just as any other appointment might have been made of a subject to fill an important position in the government. In the marriage of the Crown Prince a very different course was pursued. While no departure was made from the old precedents in the selection of a Princess from one of the five families that trace their descent from Jimmu Tenno, the whole manner of obtaining the bride was different from anything that Japan had before known. The Prince asked the father of the young lady to give her to him just as a common man might have done, and everything in the preliminary arrangements was carried out with the idea that by the marriage she was to be raised to his rank and position. Reference has already been made to the religious ceremony that was devised for the occasion, an act that in itself altered the meaning of marriage for the whole nation.

Since the wedding, rumors have floated to the world outside of the palace gates, of the kindness and consideration with which the young wife is treated by her husband. To the scandal of some of the more old-fashioned of the Prince's attendants, the heir to the throne insists on observing toward his wife, in private as well as in public, all the minutiæ of Western etiquette. She enters the carriage ahead of him when they drive together, they habitually take their meals together, and he finds in her a cheerful companion and friend, and not simply a devoted and humble servant. In this way, by the highest example that can be set to them, the Japanese people are learning a new lesson.

All these things have a deep significance in showing that the sacredness of the marriage tie is gradually being recognized.

Something, indeed, may be said on the other side in regard to this system, which I seem to have painted as ideal. If in America we find the burden of expensive grown-up sons and daughters sometimes too heavy upon parents whose powers are on the wane, we must remember that in Japan a young man is often seriously handicapped at the beginning of his active life by the early retirement of his father from self-supporting labor, and that the young wife entering the home of her parents-in-law often finds a happy married life rendered impossible by the fact that she must please an elderly couple thoroughly fixed in their ways,—the rulers of the household and with little to do but rule. With this custom, as with all human customs, everything in the long run depends upon how it is used, and without deep affection between parents and children there seems to be as much danger from the serious handicapping of the rising generation by selfish and inconsiderate parents in Japan, as there is in America of the wearing out of the older people's lives and strength in the service of ungrateful and lazy children.

The bed on which the Empress sleeps is made of heavy futons, or quilts, of white habutai wadded with silk wadding. The bedclothing consists of as many similar futons as the state of the weather may require. Every month new futons are provided for Her Majesty, and the discarded ones are given to one of her attendants. The happy recipient is thus provided with wadding enough for all her winter dresses for the rest of her life, as well as with a good supply of dress material.

Only those who have seen the inner life of the court can realize the difficulties which have attended every step of the Empress Haru's way, for the court has been the scene of great struggles between the conservative and radical elements. Mean and petty jealousies have moved those surrounding the throne. The slightest word or