Gil Blas by Alain-René Lesage (best romance books of all time TXT) 📕

“One evening, as I came to the physician’s door, intending to take my usual recreation, I found the old squire waiting for me. He took me by the hand: saying that he wished to take a little walk with me, before we struck up our little concert. At the same time he drew me aside into a by-street, where, finding an opportunity of opening his mind: ‘Diego, my good lad,’ said he with a melancholy air, ‘I want to give you a hint in private. I much fear, my good and amiable youth, that we shall both have reason to repent of beguiling our evenings with little musical parties at my master’s door. Rely on my sincere friendship: I do not grudge your lessons in singing and on the guitar; but if I could have foreseen the storm now brewing, in the name of charity, I would have selected some other spot to communicate my instructions!’ This address alarmed me. I entreated the gentle squire to be more explicit, and to tell me what we had to fear; for I was no Hector, and the tour of Spain was not yet finished. ‘I will relate to you,’ replied he, ‘what it concerns you to know, that you may take proper measure of our present danger.’

“ ‘When I got into the service of the physician, about a year ago, he said one morning, after having introduced me to his wife: “There, Marcos, you see your mistress; that is the lady you are to accompany in all her peregrinations.” I was smitten with Doña Mergelina: she was lovely in the extreme, a model for an artist, and her principal attraction was the pleasantness of her deportment.

“ ‘ “Honored sir,” replied I to the physician, “it is too great a happiness to be in the train of so charming a lady.”

“ ‘My answer was taken amiss by Mergelina, who said rather crustily, “A pleasant gentleman this! He is perfectly free and easy. Believe me, his fine speeches may go a begging for me!”

“ ‘These words, dropped from such lovely lips, seemed rather inconsistent; the manners and ideas of bumpkins and dairymaids coupled with all the graces of the most lovely woman in the world! As for her husband, he was used to her ways; and, hugging himself on the unrivalled character of his rib, “Marcos,” said he, “my wife is a miracle of chastity.” Then, observing her put on her veil, and make herself ready to go to mass, he told me to attend on her at church. We were no sooner in the street than we met, and it was no wonder, blades who, struck with Doña Mergelina’s genteel carriage, told her a thousand flattering tales as they passed by. She was not backward in her answers; but silly and ill-timed, beyond what you can conceive. They were all in amaze, and could not imagine how a woman should take it amiss to be complimented.

“ ‘ “Why really! madam,” said I to her at first, ‘you had better be silent, or shut your ears to their addresses, than reply with asperity.’

“ ‘ “No, no,” replied she: “I will teach these coxcombs that I am not a woman to put up with impertinence.” In short, her absurdity went so far, that I could not help telling her my mind, at the hazard of her displeasure. I gave her to understand, yet with the greatest possible caution, that she was unjust to nature, whose handiwork she marred by her preposterous ferocity; that a woman of mild and polished manners might inspire love without the aid of beauty; whereas the loveliest of the sex, divested of female softness, was in danger of becoming the public scorn. To this ratiocination, I added collateral arguments, always directed to the amendment of her manners. After having moralized to no purpose, I was afraid my freedom might exasperate my mistress, and draw upon me some taunting repartee. Nevertheless, she did not mutiny against my advice; but silently rendered it of no avail, and thus we went on from day to day.

“ ‘I was weary of pointing out her errors to no purpose, and gave her up to the ferocious temperament of her nature. Yet, could you think it? the savage humor of that proud woman is entirely changed within these two months. She has a kind word for all the world, and manners the most accommodating. It is no longer the same Mergelina who gave such homely answers to the compliments of her swains: she is become assailable by flattery; loves to be told she is handsome, that a man cannot look at her without paying for it: her ears itch for fine speeches, and she is become a very woman. Such a change is almost inconceivable: and the best of the joke is, that you are the worker of this unparalleled miracle. Yes, my dear Diego, it is you who have transformed Doña Mergelina; you have softened down the tigress into a domestic animal; in a word, you have made her feel. I have observed it more than once; and never trust my knowledge of the sex, if she is not desperately in love with you. Such, my dear boy, is the melancholy news I have to communicate⁠—the awkward predicament in which we stand.’

“ ‘I do not see,’ said I in my turn to the old man, ‘that there is anything so melancholy in this accident, or any peculiar awkwardness in being the object of a pretty woman’s partiality.’

“ ‘Ah! Diego,’ replied he, ‘you argue like a young man: you only see the bait, without guarding against the hook: pleasure is your lure; while my thoughts are directed to the unpleasant circumstances attending it. Murder will out. If you go on singing at our door, you will provoke Mergelina’s passion; and she, probably, losing all command over herself, will betray her weakness to her husband, Doctor Oloroso. That wretched husband, so complying now that he thinks there is no ground for jealousy, will run wild, take signal