Her Secret, His Child: A Little Secret by Tara Quinn (rosie project .txt) 📕

"It's okay, love. Go ahead. Cry it all out."

The anguish poured out of Jamie, completely out of control. She tried to breathe and sobbed, instead. There was too much hurt to store up any more. And even with the tears, it didn't go away.

Karen's gentle fingers brushed the hair back from her face, tending to her as though it were Kayla or Ashley she cradled.

"I'm sorry," Jamie said when she could gulp in enough air to get the words out.

"Who told me this morning that friends don't have to apologize?"

It wasn't exactly what Jamie had said, and certainly not with such a connotation. She didn't know what to do next, where to go. Who she was anymore.

"You never answered my question," Karen said as Jamie's sobs finally quieted.

Sitting upright, Jamie looked at her, too drained to do more than ask silently for clarification.

"Why?"

Jamie shrugged, trying to find the words to explain what she herself still didn't comprehend. Not even sure how much she could bear to tell.

"My father ran out on my mom and me when I was just a baby." She hadn't intended to go that far

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back, but once started, the whole sordid tale tumbled out.

"The bastard!" Karen spat out when Jamie got to the night of her mother's funeral. "Oh, God," she said, her eyes filling with tears. "Tell me he didn't—"

Unable to speak for the fresh emotion clogging her throat, Jamie shook her head. She'd never imagined that telling someone about those years would result in anything but disgust. Karen's support was almost more than she could grasp.

She told Karen about running off that night, about the bit of money she'd had, taking a bus to Las Vegas, searching for a job, trying to get into school, find a place to live. And meeting Tom Webber.

"The bastard!" Karen cried again as soon as she mentioned Tom's name. "He put you to work! Just an innocent, frightened child! How could he?"

For the first time in what seemed like years, Jamie smiled. "No, he didn't."

"He didn't?"

"At least, not like you think."

She went on to explain her two-year relationship with her benefactor, the platonic first year, the support Tom had given her, the love.

"So what happened?" Karen's brow was furrowed as she gazed at Jamie.

' 'His wife found out about me. She showed up at my apartment."

"He was married?"

"Surprise, surprise."

"You didn't know."

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Shaking her head, Jamie asked, "Can you believe I was so stupid? So naive? I actually thought he was going to marry me."

Karen reached for Jamie's hand and held it between her palms. "I'd have thought the same thing."

"No, you wouldn't." Jamie looked down at their clasped hands. "You'd have made the right choices everywhere I made the wrong ones."

"I haven't heard any wrong ones yet."

"The man was old enough to be my grandfather!"

"And he was the first person in your life who loved you!"

Jamie glanced back up at her friend. "My mother loved me."

Lips pursed, Karen said, "That's debatable."

"No, it isn't."

"Would you have stayed married to a man who was hurting Ashley?"

"No." No matter what. She'd give her life for her daughter. Jamie supposed that admission didn't reveal her own mother in a very good light.

"Sounds to me like she was too busy trying to cope with life herself to have anything left for you."

Okay. Maybe. Jamie didn't want to think about her mother anymore. Not today. She just didn't have the strength.

"You want a diet cola?" Karen asked, standing.

"Sure." Jamie followed her friend out to the kitchen, where she grabbed a couple of cans of cola

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from the refrigerator while Karen filled glasses with ice.

They sat at the kitchen table, a plate of cheese and crackers in front of them along with the sodas.

"So what happened after the jerk's wife came to your place?''

Jamie had known Karen wasn't going to let her stop where she'd left off. She wasn't even sure she'd wanted her to. The load was just too heavy to bear alone.

"Tom came by that night."

"The bastard!"

Again, she grinned at Karen's vehemence. Having such a loyal friend was more of a treasure than she'd ever realized.

"Not to sleep with me," Jamie assured her. "To break things off. If he didn't, his wife was going to divorce him."

"Which left you with an apartment you couldn't afford, and no ready way to pay your bills, buy groceries, cover tuition…"

Too ashamed to look at her friend, Jamie stared at the cracker between her fingers. "He offered me a solution."

"I knew it!" Karen cried. "He was a bastard."

"I guess." Jamie just didn't know anymore. "He said he had business acquaintances who'd be only too happy to pay for the same companionship I'd given Tom. Men who came to town infrequent-ly…"

Reaching across to cover Jamie's free hand where

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it lay on the table, Karen said, "Oh, hon, I'm so sorry."

Jamie shrugged. "It wasn't bad, Karen." She glanced up, meeting her friend's eyes as she finished her story. "By that point, it didn't seem like there was anything left to lose, and I have to admit they were all good to me."

"Thank God for that!"

"I don't think God looks out for whores, do you?"

"Absolutely. Besides, you weren't a whore, Jamie. You were a desperate young girl who made some desperate choices."

"I took their money."

"I take Dennis's money, too."

"That's different and you know it! You're married, the two of you—a team."

"Well, then, look at it this way. Students take-handouts all the time to get through school. Sounds like these men could afford to help you out."

For a second there, Jamie almost saw herself through Karen's eyes. "I had my rules," she said. ' 'Nothing kinky, no toys, and I never saw more than one man at a time."

"Basically, you dated Tom's friends while they were in town, and in turn they supported you."

"You make it sound a lot nicer than it was," Jamie said dryly. "In any case, I finished school— and got out."

Karen was frowning. "I thought you were still in your senior