Clarissa Harlowe by Samuel Richardson (e reader manga .txt) 📕

lowered my fortunes; but, I bless God, that my mind is not sunk with my fortunes. It is, on the contrary, raised above fortune, and above you; and for half a word they shall have the estate they envied me for, and an acquittal from me of all the expectations from my family that may make them uneasy.

I lifted up my hands and eyes in silent admiration of her.

My brother, Sir, may think me ruined; to the praise of your character, he may think it impossible to be with you and be innocent. You have but too well justified their harshest censures by every part of your conduct. But now that I have escaped from you, and that I am out of the reach of your mysterious devices, I will wrap myself up in mine own innocence, (and then the passionate beauty folded her arms about herself), and leave to time, and to my future circumspection, the reestablishment of my character. Leave me then, Sir, pursue me not!⁠—

Good Heaven! (interrupting her)⁠—and all this, for what?⁠—Had I not yielded to your entreaties, (forgive me, Madam), you could not have carried farther your resentments⁠—

Wretch! Was it not crime enough to give occasion for those entreaties? Wouldst thou make a merit to me, that thou didst not utterly ruin her whom thou oughtest to have protected? Begone, man! (turning from me, her face crimsoned over with passion).⁠—See me no more!⁠—I cannot bear thee in my sight!⁠—

Dearest, dearest creature!

If I forgive thee, Lovelace⁠—And there she stopped.⁠—To endeavour, proceeded she, to endeavour by premeditation, by low contrivances, by cries of Fire! to terrify a poor creature who had consented to take a wretched chance with thee for life!

For Heaven’s sake⁠—offering to take her repulsing hand, as she was flying from me towards the closet.

What hast thou to do to plead for the sake of Heaven in thy favour!⁠—O darkest of human minds!

Then turning from me, wiping her eyes, and again turning towards me, but her sweet face half aside, What difficulties hast thou involved me in! That thou hadst a plain path before thee, after thou hadst betrayed me into thy power.⁠—At once my mind takes in the whole of thy crooked behaviour; and if thou thinkest of Clarissa Harlowe as her proud heart tells her thou oughtest to think of her, thou wilt seek thy fortunes elsewhere. How often hast thou provoked me to tell thee, that my soul is above thee!

For Heaven’s sake, Madam, for a soul’s sake, which it is in your power to save from perdition, forgive me the past offence. I am the greatest villain on earth if it was a premeditated one; yet I presume not to excuse myself. On your mercy I throw myself. I will not offer at any plea but that of penitence. See but Captain Tomlinson.⁠—See but Lady Betty and my cousin; let them plead for me; let them be guarantees for my honour.

If Captain Tomlinson come while I stay here, I may see him; but as for you, Sir⁠—

Dearest creature! let me beg of you not to aggravate my offence to the Captain when he comes. Let me beg of you⁠—

What askest thou? It is not that I shall be of party against myself? That I shall palliate⁠—

Do not charge me, Madam, interrupted I, with villainous premeditation!⁠—Do not give such a construction to my offence as may weaken your uncle’s opinion⁠—as may strengthen your brother’s⁠—

She flung from me to the further end of the room, (she could go no further), and just then Mrs. Moore came up, and told her that dinner was ready, and that she had prevailed upon Miss Rawlins to give her her company.

You must excuse me, Mrs. Moore, said she. Miss Rawlins I hope also will⁠—but I cannot eat⁠—I cannot go down. As for you, Sir, I suppose you will think it right to depart hence; at least till the gentleman comes whom you expect.

I respectfully withdrew into the next room, that Mrs. Moore might acquaint her, (I durst not myself), that I was her lodger and boarder, as, whisperingly, I desired that she would; and meeting Miss Rawlins in the passage, Dearest Miss Rawlins, said I, stand my friend; join with Mrs. Moore to pacify my spouse, if she has any new flights upon my having taken lodgings, and intending to board here. I hope she will have more generosity than to think of hindering a gentlewoman from letting her lodgings.

I suppose Mrs. Moore, (whom I left with my fair-one), had apprised her of this before Miss Rawlins went in; for I heard her say, while I withheld Miss Rawlins⁠—“No, indeed: he is much mistaken⁠—surely he does not think I will.”

They both expostulated with her, as I could gather from bits and scraps of what they said; for they spoke so low, that I could not hear any distinct sentence, but from the fair perverse, whose anger made her louder. And to this purpose I heard her deliver herself in answer to different parts of their talk to her:⁠—“Good Mrs. Moore, dear Miss Rawlins, press me no further:⁠—I cannot sit down at table with him!”

They said something, as I suppose in my behalf⁠—“O the insinuating wretch! What defence have I against a man, who, go where I will, can turn everyone, even of the virtuous of my sex, in his favour?”

After something else said, which I heard not distinctly⁠—“This is execrable cunning!⁠—Were you to know his wicked heart, he is not without hope of engaging you two good persons to second him in the vilest of his machinations.”

How came she, (thought I, at the instant), by all this penetration? My devil surely does not play me booty. If I thought he did, I would marry, and live honest, to be even with him.

I suppose then they urged the plea which I hinted to Miss Rawlins at going in, that she would not be Mrs. Moore’s hindrance; for thus she expressed herself⁠—“He will no doubt pay you your own price. You need not question his liberality; but