Destined to Change by Harley, M. (top android ebook reader TXT) 📕

I probably shouldn’t have looked at it that way, but I needed to get everything I was feeling out in the open.

I needed Jaxon to know why I did what I did. Most importantly though I needed to understand how he could've said those horrible things to me.

Tucking my kids into bed had always been the best part of my day. I missed them so much while I was away. It felt like they had been spending a lot of time away recently. We all needed to get back to our regular routine.  I read them a story and tucked them in. Once I was sure they were asleep, I called Jaxon and told him it was time for him to come over so we could have that discussion.

“Can I come in?” Jaxon asked through the screen door.

I opened the door and motioned for him to come in. When he got inside, we headed into the living room. I grabbed Jaxon a beer and made some iced tea for me. While I was in the kitchen getting our drinks, Jaxon had sat down on the couch.

I walked in and wasn’t really sure where to sit or what to do. If the look on his face was any indication, he felt the same way. He finally motioned for me to sit down next to him, so I did.

“Loralei, you have every right to hate me after the horrible things I said to you. I was just so mad at you for what you did, that I couldn’t think straight. You have to know that I didn’t mean what I said about Declan.” He was so focused on his beer bottle. He was peeling off the label and trying so hard not to look up at me. I could tell he really felt bad about the way he had talked to me. He wouldn’t make eye contact and he was all slumped over.

“We both said things we shouldn’t have Jaxon. I am so sorry for what I did. You know that I am not that kind of person. You know that I hadn’t had sex for ten years when we were together. I was just so upset with you, and I had way too much to drink. You’re married. That’s something that you should have mentioned before we got close.”

“I know I fucked up, Loralei. I know that I should have told you about Stacy and so many other things about my past, but I just couldn’t let you know the kind of person I was. I was so happy to be able to be a new person here, without all of my shit hanging over my head,” Jaxon said while keeping his gaze on the beer bottle in his hand. He looked so sad.

I reached over and grabbed the beer bottle from Jaxon’s hands and placed it on the coffee table. I took his hand in mine and he finally looked up at me. “I want to be with you Jaxon. He meant nothing to me. It was just sex.” I could see Jaxon’s jaw clench. “I was so pissed off at you. He was there, and I was drunk. It was a mistake, but you are not in the clear on this. I might have committed the act, but you pushed me toward it.”

Jaxon’s entire body tensed. My words had really struck a nerve. The next words out of his mouth shocked me. “I’m sorry that I drove you toward that fucking cowboy.” His entire face changed. He caught my gaze and grabbed me by the back of my neck and pulled me toward him on the couch and kissed me.

He kissed me like we had never kissed before. He kissed me like nothing that happened the past few days had happened. He kissed me like he loved me and at that moment, I knew that I did love Jaxon and now I knew how much he loved me.

He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Without breaking our embrace, he carried me to my bedroom. When he shut the door, I whispered, “Don’t forget to lock it.” After our incident when Sammy walked in on us, I didn’t want to take any chances.

Jaxon was kissing me roughly now. This was unlike him. He was kissing me the way Cadekissed me. All of these thoughts of Cade were flashing through my mind. He was so rough and I loved it. Jaxon bit my lip and I could taste blood. I cried out in pain, “Stop!”

Jaxon looked up at me and said between pants, “Did I hurt you?”

“You kinda did. We don’t have to go so fast. You can slow down,” I whispered.

Jaxon said, “I thought you liked it that way. I saw the way he kissed you.” Oh my god. Jaxon did see me with Cade last night.

“What do you mean ‘you saw’?” I asked.

“At the banquet, when I went to get our drinks. I saw him kiss you and pull you into the bathroom. I waited to see what you would do and then I followed after you and I heard what you told him about me.”

I was completely flabbergasted. I didn’t know what to say. Honestly, I didn’t know how to feel. Should I have been mad at Jaxon for not saying anything? Should I have been mortified that I didn’t tell him what happened? Or should I have been relieved that he heard me profess my love for him to Cade.

All of these thoughts were taking me over, and I swear I started to have a panic attack. I jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom to splash cold water in my face. Jaxon followed after me.

He put his arms around me, “Loralei, I’m so in love with you. I will do whatever I need to do to prove that to you. If you want me to be rough, I will be. If you want me to be gentle, I