The Bookshop of Second Chances by Jackie Fraser (best life changing books .TXT) 📕

‘Are you here for the gig?’ he asks me, ‘or is this your usual watering hole?’

‘We do drink in here sometimes. It’s the closest pub to the shop. The other one is a whole hundred yards further.’ I laugh. ‘But it’s just a coincidence. I didn’t realize there was anything on. We usually only have one – because of me driving home and everything.’

‘Are you going to stay this evening?’

‘Oh, well. I don’t know…’ I say, distracted. I just looked across the bar and caught Edward’s eye. He’s still glaring at me. I shift my gaze to Cerys, who shakes her head and rolls her eyes. ‘Maybe I’ll stay out for a bit,’ I say. ‘My friends say the band’s good, and I was just saying I ought to be more sociable.’

‘It’s hard work, isn’t it, when you move somewhere new.’

‘It is. Especially if you’re single.’ I wonder if perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned this.

He nods. ‘Everything’s set up for couples, isn’t it? I found it really difficult to adjust when I got divorced. I’m sure everyone does.’

‘Yeah, it’s odd. I don’t mind the suiting yourself bit, but I can’t imagine going on dates or anything. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a date.’ I laugh. ‘My ex-husband and I were friends, and then we were going out – we never went on a date.’

‘I took my ex-wife out to dinner,’ he says. ‘I saved up for ages. I was only nineteen.’ He grins at me. ‘And we went to the cinema. I took her to see Sleeping with the Enemy, which isn’t a very romantic film.’

I laugh. ‘No. But tense – so that’s good, isn’t it, because you can accidentally hold hands.’

This makes him laugh. ‘Yeah, I remember she grabbed my leg at one point and I jumped a mile. After that it seemed okay to put my arm round her.’ We smile at each other.

‘You should come over and meet the others,’ I say. ‘And is your son all right by himself?’ I look round, but as I don’t know what he looks like, it doesn’t help.

‘He was talking to some girls earlier. He’s much better at that than I ever was, never seems to get nervous at all.’

‘The bravery of youth,’ I say.

‘I suppose so. I wasn’t like that at his age.’

I lead the way over to the table in the corner. ‘Oh,’ I say, looking at the empty seat. ‘Where’s Edward?’

‘He’s gone,’ says Jilly. She shakes her head.

‘Oh. Did he… Oh, okay,’ I say.

‘Jealous,’ says Cerys.

‘Oh really?’ I laugh. ‘Of what? Anyway, look, this is Keith, he’s up on holiday.’ I introduce them all to each other, and we sit down, and I try hard not to think about Edward going off without saying goodbye. He’s not obliged to stay, after all. I’ll see him tomorrow. I return my attention to the others, now discussing some of the places Keith and his kids have visited while they’ve been up here, and where Sam has been fishing and Clarissa’s dislike of loud noisy places.

He seems very pleasant, easy to talk to, quite funny. When he goes to the bar for more drinks, Cerys turns to look at me. ‘So. He’s up for it, I reckon. You up for it?’

I blanch. ‘Oh God. No, I don’t think so.’

‘You shouldn’t worry about what Edward thinks,’ Jilly interjects. ‘None of his business, is it?’

‘No,’ I say, ‘it wouldn’t be. And I’m not. But he can’t really be annoyed, can he?’

‘I told you,’ says Cerys, ‘he’s jealous.’

‘Don’t be silly.’ I’m even more embarrassed. ‘Why would he be jealous?’

They both look at me.

‘Can’t imagine,’ says Jilly.

‘No idea,’ says Cerys. Then they laugh. I’m not sure what to say. This is the problem with people you don’t know well. I like Jilly and Cerys, but it’s hard to tell when they’re teasing.

When Keith returns from the bar, he brings his son with him. People are beginning to move their chairs away from the corner by the pool table where there are suddenly amps and microphones.

‘I might stay for a bit,’ I say.

‘You should, they’re brilliant, honestly,’ says Cerys.

So I do, and they are. I have an unexpectedly jolly evening, although it’s hard to talk when the music’s playing. Some people even dance and it’s just like one of those little documentary films you see about communities making their own entertainment. I talk to people I’ve never spoken to before but have seen around the place, in the Co-op or down by the river walking their dogs. By nine-thirty I’m flagging, though.

‘I’m going to head off,’ I say to Keith. ‘So nice to have met you.’

‘And you,’ he says. ‘It’s always good to meet people who actually live in the place I’m on holiday, makes me feel like a local.’

‘You’ll need to work on your accent,’ says Jilly. ‘Even Thea says “aye” sometimes.’

‘Not on purpose,’ I object. ‘I mean, I worry you’ll think I’m taking the piss. I always pick up words when I stay somewhere for a while – it’s accidental.’

‘Ach, don’t worry, we think it’s cute,’ says Jilly, pulling a ridiculous face at me.

I wonder for a moment if Keith might ask me for my phone number or something, but he doesn’t. I think I’m relieved. I say goodbye to everyone and retrieve my bag from the windowsill where it’s been hidden behind the curtain.

Outside it’s surprisingly cool – or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that inside it was very warm indeed. I walk up the road towards the town hall in the dusk. The sound of the band is still quite loud – I wonder if Edward can hear it. As I drive past the shop I look up at the windows of the flat, but all is darkness.

I try to identify how I’m feeling. I have a strange edgy excited sense of… something. It reminds me of going to parties when I was in my early teens.