Simply Feminine � Surprising Insights from Men by Wonderly, Morgan (best novels for beginners .txt) 📕

Our bodies protest and become tense and rigid because this is not our true energy. We risk burning out.

Correspondingly, we have all observed women in leadership roles who act as if they can gain more power and control by being rude, overbearing, and domineering. Far from being examples of empowerment, they mimic the behaviors of lesser, insecure men. Truly effective leaders, men and women alike, lead by example and empower others, rather than by ego domination and control. Men have made it very clear to me that women have extraordinary power over them—if they are being feminine.

Here is a refreshing bit of information I learned from men: Women acting masculine is not what elicits respect. In fact, men see it as a weakness—a sign of cowardice, because they don’t have the courage to be themselves. What’s respected in the workplace is a woman (or a man) who is talented, capable and competent at what they do. Therefore, a woman who’s competent in her field and who has the courage to be authentically feminine at the same time can be powerfully effective.

The fact that women don’t need to act masculine to be successful is not an arbitrary conclusion. It is supported by the men I’ve talked with. They overwhelmingly expressed the belief that a woman can be a great leader while staying feminine. Rather than trying to mimic masculine qualities, a woman can effectively leverage her feminine (e.g., connecting and relating abilities) to lead a team by gathering the best ideas and using her influence to orchestrate agreement. This way, the organization can accomplish a goal with the whole team buying in. Some of the details may require more masculine energy, and if she chooses, there is nothing wrong with temporarily exercising her masculine energy, or delegating tasks to those better suited to them. She loves her team or organization into success, just as she would her family. She leads from her authentic feminine, not a façade of masculinity.

Femininity: A Perfect Design

Imagine Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty. She has an inner glow about her. She exudes radiance with her warm smile, sparkling eyes and soft skin. In a relaxed manner she gracefully moves through life, cheerfully interacting with others, appreciating and creating beauty wherever she goes. She thrives on her relationships, including being warm and receptive to men and inspiring their cooperation.

Now, picture that Aphrodite has decided to go masculine by “dressing for success.” She cuts her long locks, trades her flowing gown for a dark business suit, and rather than living from her natural feminine essence, sets her sights on climbing the corporate ladder to achieve power and material wealth. It may seem at first glance she is embarking on a path of achievement … but she discovers pretty quickly that she has traded away far more than she has gained.

However, despite all the confusion out there, femininity is not lost. It’s an intrinsic part of who we are as women. Just as the sun is not gone when clouds cover it, our femininity simply needs to be uncovered so that it can shine through us again. Like Aphrodite, we are so much more effective when we operate from our natural essence—instead of altering an already perfect design!

Recap

Many women have felt pressure to abandon their femininity.

Loss of femininity has affected women’s health, peace of mind, and relationships.

Acting as “imitation men” only weakens us.

Women and men were not designed to handle the same types of stress.

We were given a false promise of equality if we became identical to men.

Women make lousy men—especially when they emulate lousy men.

Women can be effective leaders from an authentic feminine energy.

Aphrodite’s glory is her femininity. So is ours.

Women have been the toughest critics of femininity, not men.

Men have never stopped supporting women in being feminine.

Femininity is not lost; we have just temporarily lost touch with it. And we can get it back!

Explorations and Journaling

Is your deepest heart’s desire more for love and connection or to focus on tasks and challenges?

Did you at any point turn your back on your femininity? If so, why? In what ways?

Do you feel overwhelmed and exhausted playing a man’s role? If yes, list any additional detrimental outcomes from operating in your masculinity.

When you hear the word feminine, what are some traits (positive and negative) that come to mind? Make a thorough list.

Do you long to express more of your feminine nature? In what ways?

Go through the Femininity Exploration Questions in the appendix.

Journal your own life experience around femininity.

Chapter 2

Femininity in the Eyes of Men

“Man’s greatest motivating force is his desire to please woman!”

– Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich

The Greatest Force

Here’s a surprising insight I learned from men: Men know that femininity is the greatest force on the planet. This bears repeating. Femininity is the greatest force on the planet. And yet we women have been urged to believe differently. Perhaps if we understood the immeasurable value of our femininity to men, we would never have abandoned it. Instead, we would see it as one of our greatest treasures.

Where Have All the Real Men Gone?

Women often ask, “Where have all the real men gone?” Unfortunately, as we move farther away from our femininity, masculine men move farther away from us. Femininity is like an elixir that intensifies the lifeblood of masculinity. Masculinity truly thrives under the influence of the feminine. If we want masculine men to be attracted to us, we must first be feminine for them. Another thing to note here is that men will naturally become more masculine in the presence of feminine women. In the absence of masculinity in us, they will step up to fill that role.

Letting Go of Preconceived Notions

We women tend to believe that femininity is strictly a female domain, and that only women hold the meaning to what’s feminine. After all, aren’t we the experts on this topic? Most of us have never considered men’s opinions on femininity because it