Locomotive to the Past by George Schultz (iphone ebook reader .TXT) 📕

“Balls! No balls! That’s what Manny kept saying! All the time! He kept saying it! And, now, you went… and you said it! All this crap… about him not having balls!”

“Well, turning over, virtually all of his pitiful paycheck… giving it, to his devoted mother . . . that’s not very ballsy, y’know! Always turning it over! I’ve never said anything, like that! Not about the paycheck! Not to him, of course! Never said anything to him… about how you treat him! The way you mis-treat him! The way you’ve always screwed him!”

“Deborah! I just wanted to know… if he’s there! Didn’t expect to have to deal with all this! Have to deal with this ration… this stupid-assed ration… of pure, undiluted, bullshit!”

“Well, if he does show up here, tonight… I’m not sure that I wouldn’t keep his being here… under covers, so to speak!” She paused to let the lame double-entendre sink in, to Sheila’s troubled psyche! “Not sure I that wouldn’t explain the whole thing to him! Give him… the facts of life!” Another entendre-laden shot! “Explain the facts… of his life! His life… with you! Listen, Sheila! We haven’t talked… you and me… haven’t talked, in a while! Not in a good while! And you know damn well why!”

“Debbie, I don’t want to get into a whole…”

By this time, her former fried was not to be denied! She plunged forward! “Sheila, I think that your accident was… was unfortunate! But, I’d bet the rent money… that it was nowhere near as bad, as you’ve always made it out to be! I’m almost afraid to think about what you’d had to do… to dear old Doctor Keltner! Do for dear old Doctor Keltner! What he’d required of you… to get him, to come up with such a, one-foot-in-the-grave, prognosis! A ,just-this-side-of-rigor-mortis, diagnosis! Like the one… he gave you! In writing, yet! The mind boggles . . . at what that might’ve required! Did the good doctor have on, a Batman costume, by any chance? Excelsior! Damn the torpedoes! To the rescue!”

“Oh, Deb! Stop it!”

“Listen to me, Sheila! It may be none of my business… but, the way you’ve acted . . . the way you’ve even led your pissy-assed life . . . well, it’s been totally… totally shitty! Totally!”

“This is… this is fucking ridiculous!”

“Look! What I’ve told you is true! I’ve never said anything . . . nothing, one way or another… to Jason. But, if he’s finally caught on to you… caught on, all by himself . . . why then, I’m damn well thrilled! Absolutely delighted!”

“Oh, don’t come on so fucking holier-than-thou! I’ve seen the way he… the way he looks at you!”

“He’s looked at me… that way… since he was four-years-old, for God’s sakes. He’s had a crush on me, Sheila. A damn crush! A monumental crush! Can’t you see that? I still think it’s cute! Always thought so! Always thought… that it was cute! And was honored . . . really honored . . . by it! Have always thought it was pretty neat! Damn neat, if you want to know!”

“Yeah,” groused the disgruntled caller. “Yeah… ’cute’. ‘Neat’. A goddam honor! I sometimes wonder whether you don’t think it’s a little more than… than… than just simply ‘cute’.”

“What’re you talking about now?”

“Those skirts! The ones… you almost wear! Those ,show-off-your-ass, short skirts! That’s what I’m talking about! Those short… and really tight . . . skirts. He could probably identify any… and every . . . pair of panties, you might choose to wear!”

“Would you like a saucer of milk? At least I wear panties!”

“Are you saying I don’t?”

“I’m not saying anything, Sheila! I have no idea . . . whether you wear panties, or not! Furthermore, I don’t care! You can walk around the entire neighborhood… stark-assed naked . . . for all I care!”

She looked down at herself. She’d forgotten that she was in the buff, at that moment—and that, quite possibly, her own neighborhood was gathering an eyeful! Still, once the argument had begun, she wasn’t going to give it a moment’s rest! Her least priority—at that moment—was, to close the stupid drapes.

“Yeah?” Sheila was responding. “Listen, Debbie! You’re always patting him on the ass! Right on his ass! You think I don’t notice things like that? Haven’t noticed that? What you do?”

“Quite frankly, I really don’t give a damn! Don’t give a rat’s ass… if you noticed, or not! Was never a worry, of mine! I like to give the kid a bit of a… well, a bit of a thrill . . . from time to time! God knows . . . with the Spartan lifestyle, you’ve inflicted on him… I’m sure that he gets precious few thrills, around there! Precious few! So, I just…”

“Tell me this, Debbie. Did you seduce him? Did you ever seduce him? Did you ever take Jason… to bed? Ever actually screw him?”

“Sheila? Sheila, I don’t know quite how to say this… but, you’re out of your goddam mind! Me? Seduce Jason? Are you serious?”

“Well, there was that one time… when he rode his bicycle over to your house, and…”

“That bike? The one… that he no longer has? Is that the bike… the one that you’re talking about?”

“Give it a shove, Debbie. He rode his bike… over to your house! That one Sunday afternoon. And listen, that’s the only time that I even know about! God only knows, how many other times, when you might’ve…”

“I’m not even going to dignify that asinine… that stupid-assed—statement! Not gonna dignify it… with a freaking reply! Well… on the other hand… maybe I will! NO, Sheila! NO! I’ve never screwed your little boy! Have never even come close! A pat… on the fanny! And, maybe, let him have a little look… up my skirt! That has been it! But, now that you’ve given me the idea . . . and since, right at this moment, I’m awfully damn horny anyway . . . maybe, if he shows up here tonight, I’ll just go on ahead, and let him…”

“DEBBIE!”

“Oh, come off it, Sheila! I’m just yanking your chain! I wouldn’t take him to bed! It’d be damn incest . . . for one thing! Well, just about, anyway! Now, get off this… stop all