Something Old by Rebecca Connolly (autobiographies to read txt) 📕

And this is Cornwall. I do believe it is no strange thing to stroll a beach.”

“Not for ordinary people, perhaps…” A lock of hair danced in the breeze across her brow, tickling the skin there, and she paused to push it back behind her ear. “But I might venture that it is a little strange for us.”

Thomas took the picnic basket from her and reached for her hand with his free one. “Today, we are ordinary people, sweetheart. We’ve worked in a mine, we’ve dined with our neighbors, and now we will go for a stroll on our beach.”

She giggled even as her heart skipped, and she followed as they began to walk. “The beauty in that statement is a little diminished when you refer to the beach as ours. Ordinary people do not own beaches.”

“Details, details,” he insisted with a dismissive shake of his head. He took in a deep breath as they ventured out into the more wild aspect of the estate lands. “I have never seen beauties in the world like these, and I consider myself a well-traveled man. What is it about this place that eases and awes in the same moment?”

Lily hummed in thought and delight, feeling much of the same thing since their arrival. “I haven’t the faintest idea, but there is a sort of awakening that it prompts, isn’t there?”

“There certainly is.” He squeezed her hand gently, then threaded his fingers through hers. “I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else. I wouldn’t want to experience this with anyone else.”

She smiled up at him in complete and unfettered adoration. “I feel the same.” An impish thought suddenly burst into her mind, and her smile turned wry. “It would seem Cornwall has caused another sort of awakening in you.”

He chuckled, the sound low, delicious, and warm. “I believe it has, and I am not ashamed of it. I should have been this open and free long ago.”

There was something sad in his words, something that filled Lily’s chest with pain and pressure, nearly bringing her to tears. “You were not the only one,” she admitted hoarsely. “I shut myself away from you, kept my feelings hidden, and made no efforts to bring us closer together. I’m sorry, Thomas.”

“No, no,” he murmured, pulling her hand to his lips and holding it there for a moment, as though breathing in the scent of her. “You have nothing to be sorry for, darling. I’m the one who left you alone in the marriage, and it could not have been easy to be married to a man who refused to participate beyond what politeness dictates. I should be begging you for forgiveness on bended knee, if not fully prostrating myself at your feet.”

“I don’t want you groveling at my feet,” Lily whispered, gripping his hand more tightly and hugging his arm to her. “I just want you with me.”

Thomas pulled them to a stop and brought his lips to hers in a slow, maddeningly tender caress that made her shiver. He laughed softly against her mouth. “There is something about making you shiver that lights a fire in me, Lily Arden.”

She sighed and buried her face into his shoulder, her hand rubbing up and down his arm as she fought for composure. “Lily Granger, if you please. I’ll not lose my name, even if I do lose my sanity.”

He kissed the top of her head and started walking again. “We should have always been talking to each other like this. It would have made everything pleasant, not just bearable.”

“I know.” Leaning her head against his arm, she fiddled with their joined hands. “Why were we able to break free of it? That night in Julia’s garden, how were we able to tell each other so much after years of silence?”

“Some things are more easily admitted in the dark of the night,” he murmured, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. “And I think it had been building for a while. For me, at least.”

“What had?” Lily pressed. “Your feelings?”

Thomas nodded as they moved onto the worn path in the grass toward the beach. “My feelings for you, which have never settled, and my shame…”

She didn’t want to hear more about his self-loathing, his years of guilt, how he’d hated himself for so long. There was nothing comforting in that, nothing to settle what she had felt in all that time, and it made her ache somewhere deep inside. What was the good in both of them being miserable?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lily asked, taking care that no hint of accusation should enter her voice. “Surely you knew I would try to help.”

“I did know that,” Thomas assured her, smiling gently. “And I couldn’t let you. I felt wholly responsible for the situation, marrying you when I was penniless and using your money to avoid complete ruin. If I hadn’t loved you, I might have felt less about it, but given that I did…” He shook his head, sighing heavily. “I couldn’t bear to face you. I should have married you before I threw my fortune away on a blind speculation. I loved you enough.”

Were they not walking toward the cliffs, were they only sitting in the drawing room before a fire and talking this way, Lily might have closed her eyes at this. Might have wept. Might have done any number of things in response. But holding his hand, clinging to his arm, connected to him as she was, she only pressed a kiss against his shoulder through the linen of his shirt, wishing she could send it coursing through to the heart of him to lighten the burden he carried.

“I didn’t mind the money,” she told him, rubbing her hand up and down his arm gently. “It was the distance that hurt more than anything. I never thought we would have a marriage like that. When I dreamed of marrying you, that is. It wasn’t often, I’m not so much of a romantic,