Something Old by Rebecca Connolly (autobiographies to read txt) 📕

Thomas groaned quietly, his fingers brushing hers in their hold. “I know. I debated breaking my personal vow nearly every week, knowing how it must have hurt you to be so remote. Then I would force myself to work even harder, drive myself further to improving our financial situation. I refused to rely on the money of your dowry for our existence. I would provide for you, not the other way around. I had to. I was too ashamed to do anything else. Until I did, I felt unworthy to love you.”

“What changed?” she ventured to ask him. “You’re not distant now and hardly remote. I’d even venture to say that you…” She trailed off, unable to say it even with venturing into boldness. That, it seemed, was too bold.

“Love you?” he finished without any hesitation, which told her much more had changed than she realized. “I do, and it’s the most exhilarating feeling.” He flashed a smile that would have removed her kneecaps had she not been actively walking. “I recently received reports that not only have we become financially solvent but rather well off. All of the businesses and investments are doing remarkably well, and the estate has had some very good years. I don’t take risks with money anymore, but I do use what I can to turn a profit. And because of the wise advice I’ve received from solicitors and men of business, I’ve made us safe for the future. And done a little more besides.”

“A little more?” Lily laughed at the almost-modest hint. “It seems you have already done quite a bit, and you extended yourself further still?”

His smile turned almost smug, though there was a light of laughter in his eyes. “Indeed I did. It was a dream of mine to accomplish, if I could manage solvency and safety.”

When he said nothing further, Lily shook his arm a little, laughing. “Aren’t you going to tell me what it is?”

“Hmm,” he mused, playing at hesitancy and reluctance. “I’m not entirely certain I will. What would be profited by it?”

“Thomas!” Lily protested with another shake of his arm. “You cannot tease me and then refuse to elaborate! What did you dream of doing and then accomplish by your efforts?”

He grinned a rather boyish grin, swinging the picnic basket by his side. “Do you really wish to know? I don’t want to bore you with details if this is only a polite interest.”

Lily groaned dramatically and gave him as long-suffering a look as she could manage. “Thomas… Tell me.”

“Very well.” He cleared his throat, sobering as he did so, which piqued her interest and made her worry a little. “I have earned back the full amount of your dowry. With interest higher than the present market rate.”

The ground seemed to fall away from her feet, yet she remained upright. Rooted in place, and pulling her husband to a stop, but upright.

“What?” she gasped, feeling her eyes stretch as they widened. “All twenty thousand pounds?”

“With interest,” he affirmed with a nod. “It is safe, away from any of the investments and businesses that could risk a loss.”

“But…” Lily wet her lips, her mind whirling on what she could remember of the marriage settlement. “But more than half of the dowry was tied up in my father’s investments and the estate. He couldn’t pay it all at once.”

Thomas smiled with some pride, nodding again. “Indeed, so it took some time to get the amount from him and to renegotiate the investments into better straits. Once those investments had reaped what they could, I pulled them out and put them in the bank. The estate’s portion of your dowry earned out a year or two ago, and the rest was what I had used to keep afloat. And now every bit of that is earned back.”

It was the most unfathomable thing she’d heard of, but she knew full well how her husband worked and strove and worried about business and finances. She knew the strain it had put on him during their marriage, and now she even began to understand why. To hear him speak with such satisfaction and pride, to hear the relief in being able to tell her of his success, she could not help but feel some relief in it as well.

And some hope.

“Oh, Thomas,” she said on a happy sigh, starting to walk again. “How wonderful! I can only imagine how this will help with caring for the estate and our tenants or in seeking to invest more in the mines here. There is such comfort in security, isn’t there?”

Now it was her husband who pulled her to a stop, very gently. “I think you misunderstand me, sweetheart.” He met her eyes, turning more serious. “I have earned you back your dowry. Not me. The fortunes for our estate and family are set, and we are well-off, but your dowry, what came to me when I married you, is yours again. Solely yours.”

Whatever stability in her footing Lily had felt before was completely obliterated by the sensations overtaking her now. It was as though she had been set upon one of the waves in the distance, rolling and falling in the same motion, unaware of anything but the tide.

She couldn’t even ask him what he meant, could not form her lips into words, only had the power to stare back at him and wait for further explanation. If it were coming.

“It is not our money,” he reaffirmed, his fingers brilliantly warm against her own. “It is just yours. I’m in the process of finalizing the details with my solicitor, making sure it will be in your name, as it should have been. I felt nothing but shame in taking the money when I married you, and now, finally, I am able to give it to you, as I hope I would have done if we had married under usual circumstances.”

Lily exhaled sharply, her lungs heaving with the