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Read book online «How It Ends by Catherine Lo (classic books for 13 year olds .TXT) 📕».   Author   -   Catherine Lo



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for those decisions. I was . . . just . . . I wanted to tell you at the right time.”

Scott’s fury is white-hot. “The right time? Are you fucking serious? What right time would there possibly be for you to tell me you’re ruining my life and that you’ve been hiding something major from me for a month!”

“Two weeks . . .”

“Whatever!” He’s obviously not worried about being overheard anymore. The waitress fidgets by the counter.

“Calm down. I’m not keeping secrets. This was hard for me, too. I totally freaked out and got scared. This isn’t exactly the kind of information you can just toss out there, you know?” I reach for his hand, but he pulls it away. “Come on, Scott. Of course I was going to tell you. Of course you need to know. Because this is your child and we need to make these decisions together.”

The panic in his eyes takes my breath away. “My child? Annie! What’s wrong with you? We’re sixteen years old. We can’t have a child! What are we going to do, drop out of school and get jobs at the Dollar Store to support it? You’re insane.”

“I never said we were going to keep it, I just said we had to talk about it. And talking usually involves conversation, not someone yelling at the other person.” The tears are out in full force now, and I swipe at them angrily. I don’t want to cry in front of him.

“How did this happen, anyway?” His eyes are accusing.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you telling me you don’t remember us having sex?”

“Of course I remember that. But you were supposed to be on the Pill.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I’m the angry one now. “Who said anything about the Pill? What did you think, that I’d go up to my dad and ask him to fill my birth control prescriptions? Where the fuck would I get the Pill?”

“When I asked you if we could stop using condoms, you said it was okay.”

“Excuse me?”

“When. I. Asked . . .”

“I heard you. But first of all, you didn’t ask if it was okay. You announced that you hated condoms and said you couldn’t feel anything, so you wanted to stop wearing them. There was no question in there. And we never talked about the Pill. I said it was okay because I wanted you to enjoy it, not because I was on birth control.”

“Then you never should have said yes.”

“Why is it all my responsibility to take care of the birth control? You never even asked. And why would I have insisted on condoms from the beginning if I was on the Pill?”

“I just figured you were worried about AIDS.”

“Bullshit. You didn’t think I was on the Pill. You just don’t want to admit this is as much your fault as it is mine.”

“No, Annie. I did think you were on the Pill, because I thought you were a smart girl. I assumed you wouldn’t risk ruining both of our lives like this.”

“Well, if you were so concerned, you should have talked to me about it.”

“My mother was right.” He mumbles the words as he sits back, staring off into space, but I feel like he shouted them.

“Right about what?”

“Right about you.”

“And what exactly did your mother say?”

“That you were out to trap me. That girls like you are looking for some guy to drag down and force them to take care of you.”

“Girls like me? What kind of girl am I?”

“You know, from a broken home. Unhappy. She said you’d try to trap me into a relationship because you don’t have enough love in your life, and I didn’t believe her.”

“But you do now.”

“What am I supposed to think, Annie? People don’t do things like this. Girls don’t sleep around like this without taking birth control. You weren’t even on the Pill, for Christ’s sake. That makes no sense to me. I mean, who would do that?”

Girls like me.

I stand up and walk right out of the restaurant. With every step, I expect him to chase after me. I expect him to grab me by the arm and apologize and say he’s just overwhelmed and scared. I expect him to tell me he loves me. But he doesn’t.

I walk all the way home in a complete daze. I’m actually surprised when I see my house in front of me. I’d meant to go back to school, but I’m relieved to be here instead. I stumble into my room and bury myself under the covers before gathering the courage to check my phone.

Not a single call or text.

He let me walk away and didn’t even check to see if I was okay.

Jessie

My stomach hurt and my head was pounding. I felt like something terrible was happening and there was nothing I could do to stop it. My heart kept fluttering and my brain was buzzing and I didn’t think it was normal—even for a panic attack. What if I had some kind of heart condition and I was just ignoring it because I thought it was anxiety? What if I died sitting there waiting for my Ativan to kick in?

I’d faked a stomachache so I could stay home while my parents went out to dinner. As soon as their car pulled out of the driveway, I turned their room upside down looking for the key to the medicine cabinet. I finally found it under my mother’s table lamp.

I was practically hyperventilating, worried that Mom might have thrown out the old prescription when I got my new one. It was right there on the shelf, though. Twelve pretty little white pills. I took five of them and put the rest back. I could make five last.

I’m not proud of myself. This isn’t the person I want to be. I want to be honest and trustworthy. Not the kind of girl who steals drugs and breaks the trust of her only friend.

Annie.

I was so scared to go to

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