Nash: A Rough Romance by Piper Stone (book series for 12 year olds txt) 📕

Mustang told me that he’d been asked to accompany Snake’s body back to the States or the moment when his parents walked up to us after the funeral in order to shake our hands and call us heroes? Huh? Do you want to know about all the sleepless nights or the days when I couldn’t think straight, fearful that I’d do something stupid or worse? Do you want to know when I asked Bryce not to stay in the same room with me because I was afraid I would hurt her during the middle of the night after coming out of one of the fucking nightmares? Do you? If so, then I’m happy to spend some time with you going over every detail in vivid color. As far as having a conscience? I have no choice. I have a little girl and a ranch to take care of. Tell me this. What the fuck do you have?”

He backed away, his eyes colder than I’d ever seen them. Turning sharply, he took long strides toward his truck, stopping just short of the driver’s door. “I’ll text Scorpion the address. Feel free to make yourself at home. That’s the kind of woman Bryce is.” He threw open the door, climbing in and starting the engine, revving it over and over again.

The jarring sound of the door slamming forced me to jump. A fog rushed over my eyes, crawling into my mind. What the hell had happened to me in these past few months?

After Hawk pressed down the accelerator, screeching out of the parking lot, Scorpion walked over slowly, glaring me in the eyes.

“You know what? You’re an asshole, buddy.” He walked to the door, hesitating then turning back to face me. “There isn’t one of us who’s not in severe pain. Not one. We’ve all handled it differently, but Hawk took the brunt of it. You just won’t see it much because that’s the kind of man he is. He’s doing all he can right now to make the ranch successful because that’s what both his father and his brother wanted. He also is trying to learn how to be the best damn father he can be. That’s been tough on him since Ashley still has nightmares herself because she misses her real daddy so much. Do you know the kid didn’t talk for months after her father died? Hawk was the one who coaxed her with love and time and caring. Meanwhile, his guilt was eating him up inside. While I can tell how much pain you’re in, why don’t you take a minute and look outside yourself. We’re all grieving.”

When he stopped talking, I knew he expected I would say something explaining my ridiculous childish behavior, but I honestly had no idea what the hell I could say. My throat tightened, my heart racing. I’d spent months running from the truth. It was time to face what had really occurred, taking the blame.

I finally had to grow the fuck up.

When I said nothing, he huffed then opened the door of the truck.

“We need to get some supplies. I think the best thing to do is to go there late this afternoon before the storm rolls in. Maybe you can clear your head. I’ve got a truck I can lend you.”

He waited for another five seconds before shaking his head and opening the door.

“Wait.”

His body stiffening, he waited but didn’t turn around. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry and I need to tell you something.”

“Okay. Why don’t you get in the damn truck then you can tell me? Just get it over with though. This whole thing is pissing me off.” He didn’t wait for my answer before climbing inside.

I glanced at the mountains again before walking around to the other side, my muscles aching as I tried to get in. I’d never felt so damn hollow in my freaking life. When the door was closed, I stared out the windshield for at least two full minutes until I heard Scorpion’s deep sigh.

“Do you remember the night outside the prison camp?” I’d never heard so much angst in my tone, the agony rushing to the surface. I didn’t want to relive that night, not for any reason. It came to me far too often in my dreams, but I knew I had to if I wanted a chance at any kind of life.

Or to keep my friendship.

“Yeah, Nash. I remember. Honestly, I don’t like to think about it. I tried to make my peace, although it still haunts me.”

“Yeah, well, there’s something that you don’t know.”

He slowly turned his head, studying me intently. I could tell he was remaining quiet out of reverence as well as morbid curiosity.

I hadn’t said the words out loud to anyone. I hadn’t been able to. I only hoped that my friends, the men I’d served alongside for years, the ones who’d protected me that way I’d tried to protect them would forgive me.

I also hoped that God would understand, although I could never find salvation for my sins.

“I’m responsible for the death of all those men, including Snake.”

“We were all there, buddy. Stop blaming yourself. We all had a part in what happened, but we weren’t the ones who firebombed the facility. There was nothing we could have done.”

“That’s not true. The man who held the grenade. I had him in my sights. I’m the sharpshooter, the man who never missed. Remember? But on that night, I froze.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I killed him. Because of what I couldn’t do, Snake and all those other soldiers lost their lives. Don’t you see? I’m a murderer.”

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t call you earlier. It all happened so fast.”

As I listened to his conversation with his girlfriend, I’d never felt like such an outsider. However, the interruption allowed me to catch my breath.

“Just stay there. I’m bringing some supplies in case we get snow,” Scorpion continued. “What do you think of Mitch?”

He chuckled after whatever she’d said.

I allowed my thoughts